I cringe when I hear a lot of voicemail greetings.
"I'm either on the phone or away from my desk."
What is that? Does the callee think the caller can't figure out possible reasons for going to voicemail? The implied subtext is that the calleee always answers his phone when he is able--a lie for sure. What if he did, in fact, choose not to answer the phone or simply didn't hear it because he has headphones on? What if he got tied up by terrorists and can't move his left pinkie finger, let alone answer the phone? Or perhaps he came back from training or vacation and forgot to turn off instant-forward-to-voicemail. Now he's a liar. In any case why bother wasting time by saying silly stuff like this? How about "You've reached Joe's voicemail. Please leave a message, and I promise to call you back." Short and sweet.
"I am unable to answer your call."
No stinking duh. See the previous item. Anyway, what if the callee simply chooses not to answer even though he is able? It's quite amazing that someone is such a slave to his phone that he always answers when he is able, even with his mouth full of food or in the middle of a coughing fit or when having an important conversation with his boss.
"Hello, this is Joe. <pause> You've reached my voicemail."
Don't do that! I may think a real person answered the phone and start talking. My sister has something like this on her cell phone. I call it infrequently enough that I usually get caught and it's annoying. Try "Hello, you've reached the voicemail of Joe Blow." Because I haven't reached Joe. I've reached a recording of Joe played back by a voicemail system. Be polite and don't mislead people.
<Super long voicemail message>
If your voicemail message is really long, and there's a way to skip listening to the whole thing and go directly to leaving a message, please state this immediately after identifying whose voicemail has been reached. "Hello, you've reached the voicemail for Joe Blow. Press 7 to skip this message at any time. If you need immediate assistance during business hours, press 0. If you need ...
"I'm either on the phone or away from my desk."
What is that? Does the callee think the caller can't figure out possible reasons for going to voicemail? The implied subtext is that the calleee always answers his phone when he is able--a lie for sure. What if he did, in fact, choose not to answer the phone or simply didn't hear it because he has headphones on? What if he got tied up by terrorists and can't move his left pinkie finger, let alone answer the phone? Or perhaps he came back from training or vacation and forgot to turn off instant-forward-to-voicemail. Now he's a liar. In any case why bother wasting time by saying silly stuff like this? How about "You've reached Joe's voicemail. Please leave a message, and I promise to call you back." Short and sweet.
"I am unable to answer your call."
No stinking duh. See the previous item. Anyway, what if the callee simply chooses not to answer even though he is able? It's quite amazing that someone is such a slave to his phone that he always answers when he is able, even with his mouth full of food or in the middle of a coughing fit or when having an important conversation with his boss.
"Hello, this is Joe. <pause> You've reached my voicemail."
Don't do that! I may think a real person answered the phone and start talking. My sister has something like this on her cell phone. I call it infrequently enough that I usually get caught and it's annoying. Try "Hello, you've reached the voicemail of Joe Blow." Because I haven't reached Joe. I've reached a recording of Joe played back by a voicemail system. Be polite and don't mislead people.
<Super long voicemail message>
If your voicemail message is really long, and there's a way to skip listening to the whole thing and go directly to leaving a message, please state this immediately after identifying whose voicemail has been reached. "Hello, you've reached the voicemail for Joe Blow. Press 7 to skip this message at any time. If you need immediate assistance during business hours, press 0. If you need ...
