Stupid things I ever said and remember still 2

[Toshilap]

Before I went to Computer School I haven't seen or touched computer ever before.
So I needed to order one from a Catalog.

I was AMUSED to see that PCUs and Monitors are sold separately, so while ordering I asked a guy 'Does ANYONE! ACTUALLY! EVER??? bought Computer without a monitor?'

I was so impressed with my own cleverness so I don't even remember what the answer was.
Wasn't it stupid? Can you beat that?

---------------------------------------
I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[PaulTEG]

Yeah, but I'm not going to post it here ;-)

Spend an hour a week on CPAN, helps cure all known programming ailments ;-)

 

[Toshilap]

Common, say it was your friend or somthng.

---------------------------------------
I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[BJCooperIT]

My father used to purposely swap syllables in phrases when he was being silly. He would say things like "Informway Highation" (Information Highway) and the like. I suppose a lifetime of this sort of humor has to rub off.

When I was in high school biology class we were talking about vaccinations and wouldn't you know I accidentally swapped two syllables. Now I will forever be known for saying "Hypodemic Nerdles"!!!

[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant Developer/Analyst Oracle, Forms, Reports & PL/SQL (Windows)
My website: Emu Products Plus

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
My favorite example of switching syllables ( and classic spoonerisms) is the chruch announcement about
there being a "Taffy Pull at St. Peter's" which came out entirely differently.
(I'll leave it to your imagination but it ended with "at St Taffy's")





To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[PaulTEG]

Spoonerisms, Ronnie Barker RIP, broadcast on BBC in the early 70's at the height of the Whitehouse Era (alleged), and not a single letter of complaint, or even a hint of a smile from the man himself ...

Spoonerism King Ronnie Barker RIP

the tale of Rindercella

I looked for a safe version, and PDF is about as safe as I think it can be, there's a few sites hosting it, but no sign of the beeb

Apologies if this has been trotted out before ...

 

[tgreer]

My son once complained that he was so cold that his "froes were tozen".



Thomas D. Greer

http://www.tgreer.com

 

[smah]

Alright, here's mine:

During one of my college math classes, we were working as a group on a word problem that involved some quantity of organisms. The result of the problem was some number and a half. I realized that ½ of a living thing did not really exist as a living thing, so being the smart **s that I was back then, I intended to yell out "But you can't have half of an organism." Needless to say, the word that came out of my mouth was missing the ni. Nothing productive was done for the remainder of that class.

 

[SamBones]

smah! That's awesome!

 

[SantaMufasa]

Smah,

For similar reasons, my co-workers are banned forever from patronising "Fuddruckers" restaurant.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[

http://www.dasages.com:

Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.

 

[AnotherHiggins]

Santa,

A Fuddruckers opened in Raleigh many years ago. Any time my mother mentioned it she would get to up to the point in the sentence where the restaurant’s name was, pause, think about it to make sure she said it right, and, almost invariably, swap the R and F. Then she would turn bright red.

It was just about the best gift Corporate America could have given to a high school boy.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.

 

[grande]

When I was younger, I didn't really know much about computers, but I liked to brag about what I did know.

So someone asked my how much memory my computer had. I figured memory=hard drive (because the HD "remembers" all your data).

So, I proudly told him that my 133MHz Pentium I computer had "3 Gigs of Memory."

-------------------------
Just call me Captain Awesome.

 

[tgreer]

I heard a minister repeatedly, slowly, emphatically, and with increasingly clear enunciation and rising volume, describe the time the Israelites "pinched their tits on the plains of Moab".








(pitched their tents)

Thomas D. Greer

http://www.tgreer.com

 

[jebenson]

Thomas,

That's awesome! The visual I get from that is going to keep me going all day!

I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

 

[flapeyre]

http://www.matthewgoldman.com/spoon/rindercella_8.html

Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea posui!

 

[Trevoke]

I am quite enjoying all of this; spoonerisms are very amusing. There is a similar thing in French, called "contrepe`terie", where the sole purpose is to make an innocuous sentence which, when swapping two or more syllables/consonants/vowels or a combination thereof, becomes dirty. And of course, you never reveal it, it's up to the person hearing it to figure it out.

Examples are :
La petite Rachel joue sur la berge du ravin
J'ai des rebords a mes epaulettes
La fermiere a une poule qui mue
La mortadelle fut attaquee par les scipions

It's important to note that they are vocal only; the spelling need not be proper for the result, only the pronounciation.
I don't know nearly enough spoonerisms, but, again, I'm liking the read!

-Haben sie fosforos?
-No tiengo caballero, but I have un briquet.

 

[Toshilap]

tgeer,
"pinched their tits on the plains of Moab"? I started to think actually but then I saw explanation attached and it was histerical!!!

---------------------------------------
I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[PaulTEG]

flapeyre, that has to be the cleanest Rindercella rendition I've seen thus far ;-)

--Paul

 

[2ffat]

A DJ I know once did this on the air. He meant to say "Let's take a look out the window and see what the weather is doing."

He was thinking "Let's take a peek out the window and see what the weather is doing."

He said, "Let's take a leak out the window and see what the weather is doing."

James P. Cottingham
-----------------------------------------
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[GwydionM]

Your monitor could fail. Or you go from CTR to flat-screen. Or you get a new computer but the old monitor is fine. Or you want to make your own match rather than accept the package they offer.

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK