Straw_phone_bridge 2

[Toshilap]

Just called Strawbridge billing dept where Automated voice urged me to 'NOW (pause) enter your account (long important pause) ONE DIGIT AT THE TIME!!!'

I was dialing thinking 'should I in spite dial ALL digits at the same time just to show them - I am not affraid of that scary Auto Voice!!!

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I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Yes, Toshilap, Automated instructions can generate amusing results:

Several years ago, my sister, Rebecca, was a Customer Service Rep for AT&T. A customer called her up and said he was having trouble with their automated system. Each time he tried to use the automated menu, the system said that he had entered an invalid response, despite his following directions precisely.

Rebecca said that she would be happy to help. She created a three-way call between herself, the customer, and the automated menu with which he had had trouble. Becca asked the gentleman to proceed with the automated menu as he had done before. (She had a beep-tone translator on her screen that would confirm what he was pressing, so that she could help resolve his issue.)

The Automated voice prompted, "If you wish to confirm your account balance, Press, or Say '1'." The customer beep-toned, "6-7-7-2-9-1", which, of course resulted in the automated message, "Invalid entry."

Rebecca pointed out, "Sir, you entered too many responses." The customer, rather indignatly, protested, "How else can I press "O-R-S-A-Y-1"?


Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[

http://www.dasages.com:

Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.

 

[grande]

Hahaaa! Outstanding.

-------------------------
Just call me Captain Awesome.

 

[jebenson]

Its like the famous urban legend of the user who can't find the "any" key when instructed to "press any key to continue..."

It seems that the designers/writers of most automated help systems, user manuals, etc. fail to realize just how literally some people will interpret what they hear/read.

This also puts me in mind of one of my favorite "geek" t-shirts:

>Select * from users where clue>0
>0 rows returned


I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

 

[PaulTEG]

Santa, pure class.

Spend an hour a week on CPAN, helps cure all known programming ailments ;-)

 

[tsdragon]

Jebenson: that one totally made my day!


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[mberni]

concerning the "any key"-thing i have heard that DELL really considered to print "anykey" on the spacebar of every new manufactured keyboard to reduce service calls ...

 

[tsdragon]

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.



Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[earthandfire]

As far as the keyboard is concerned, I think my favourite would have to be the message displayed when the POST is unable to detect a keyboard: Press F1 to continue.

 

[grande]

I always loved that F1 message... That brings me back a few years...

-------------------------
Just call me Captain Awesome.

 

[donbott]

Thank you for calling the incontinence hotline - Can you hold?

DonBott

 

[Remou]

Ring, Ring
Man: "Doctor, I have dreadful incontinence."
Doc: "Where are you ringing from?"
Man: "The waist down.

 

[strongm]

>any key

http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
I have heard of a mean-spirited programmer putting the message

'Press a key to continue'

in his application and having it require pressing the 'a' key ( and lower case only)...

I imagine it is only an Urban Legend/Computer Division







To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[NewToCR]

Yesterday in a car listening to the radio:
- Hi, Lisa!
- Hiiiiiiiii !!!!!!!!(exited beyound imaginable)
- Lisaaa (long excited pause)!!!It SOUNDS like you shopping!

 

[grooke]

There is the lovely diagram in Alan Cooper's (?? The inventor of VB) book 'About Face'.

It is a standard warning popup on a screen. The message says "Delete the entire hard disc?"
There are two buttons
'Now' 'Later'.

Gil

 

[Toshilap]

Cingular Customer Service:
Automated voice: 'Your balance is...ZERO dollars. To avoid service interruption please, pay your bill immediately'

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I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[guitarzan]

One of my many times on hold with T-Mobile trying to get them to give me my $75.00 back (they charged me for services that someone racked up on my phone number before I got the phone), their stupid automated voice-activated "woman" asked me "Would you mind taking part in our survey? It will only take a few minutes, and will help us serve you better in the future... Please answer Yes or No".

I answered her question with an emphatic, angry (but very clear) YES.

Of course, they transferred me to their stupid survey.

 

[Toshilap]

...it wasn't all...I've dialed 0 and transferred myself to a live operator. I said 'I've just heard the dumbest thing from your automated system' and I told her.
She said 'System treats everyone equaly whether you owe a dollar or $200.00'
I chocked and whispered 'But my balance iz ZERRRRRO!'
She said 'Oh, I will make an adjustment...'

I am still thinking what is she going to adjust?

I am still a beliver in if you don't tell them they wouldn't know, so I tell...hoping for changes

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I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[grooke]

Try sending a cheque for $0.00 and it will probably reply that it can accept cheques with that value.

Gil