Started a new job and I'm unhappy ? 7

[Recce]

Good day,

I left my old company where I used to work for many, many years because, I believed that they were losing focus on there IT objectives along with a lot of other frustrations.

Everyone always says that one should stop complaining and do something about ones problems and also that one should never reach a point in life where you do not learn anymore
cause that means that you are finding yourself in a comfort zone which in turn means that there is little if any progress in your career.

The problem is that I joined another IT company which is a good company with briliant ideas and a lot of oppertunity however, I came across a problem and that is that
the one person that I need to work with, I do not get along with. If my manager can not help me with another position somewhere in the company then, i will need to leave.

Now, the other problem is that if I was to look for another job now it would look very bad the fact that I have only been with this company for a few months and now I am
leaving or have left. What do you think how would people or companies out there feel about me or what would they be thinking if
I was to look for a new position. Would that sort of thing count against me ?

"We know nothing but, that what we know is not the truth..." - Me

 

[dgillz]

I disagree that one position held for a short time will make you look "very bad". If you had several of these, yes that is a red flag.

Software Sales, Training, Implementation and Support for Macola, eSynergy, and Crystal Reports

http://www.gainfocus.biz

"What version of URGENT!!! are you using?

 

[Recce]

Thanks for this cause I realy need an objective opinion...

"We know nothing but, that what we know is not the truth..." - Me

 

[bchizary]

why is it that you cant get on with the other person?

 

[Spirit]

Whatever you do avoid talking of this person no matter what in your interveiws. Been in a similar situation once and was declined fora dream position due to the interveiwer picking up on this clash of personalities.

If the company is worth it - for your own goals - then try hanging it out get promoted then fire the guy!!!

Easier said than done tho I KNOW!

Iain

 

[SQLSister]

Why do you not get along with this person and how can you fix that? You need to learn to do this as though the years there will be plenty of people to work with that you don't like or don't get along with.

"NOTHING is more important in a database than integrity." ESquared

 

[pinkgecko]

Lots of IT people jump around, so I don't think just one short-term employment will be a problem. But the personality conflict might be problematic if it shows a trend - do you have any feuds with family, neighbors, former bosses or coworkers, etc.? You might be a perfectly nice person but get a little too irritated with all the idiots out there, and that irritiation will interfere with your work. If you do, I would say stick with your current position and look for some resources to improve your ability to work in a team. Learning to work with idiots is essential to any team environment, and is just as important as the required technical skills. Teams are always frustrating - they often seem to slow me down instead of help me accomplish a task quicker - but if you lack that ability to find ways to bring the group idiot up to speed or at least to make him/her feel involved, it will have a serious negative effect on your IT career. Management often knows who the idiots are, and feuding with them just brings you down into the idiot category as well.

On the other hand, if this is a one-time thing and you can't think of anyone else you have this type of clash with, I would suggest just finding a new job. But be honest about it, because if you do have a idiot patience problem, you need to work through it or find a new career.

[blue]When birds fly in the correct formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.[/blue]

 

[gbaughma]

Recce:

Best piece of advise that I can think of:

Remember, you can't change how the other person acts. You can only change how you respond.

That being said, I would make an honest, professional attempt to resolve the differences, even if it is to "Agree to disagree" about something. Document it, write it down, attempt for a "win-win". If it falls through, or the person starts to harass you or whatever, you've got documentation that you attempted to resolve the issues.

Leave personal issues behind; approach it as a professional problem solver (which you are); avoid transferrance (I don't like this person because she reminds me of my ex-wife or whatever).

Without any details, this is about as much advise as I can give.



Just my 2¢
-Cole's Law: Shredded cabbage

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[SQLSister]

My rules for dealing with people you have to work with that you dislike or don’t respect or who are causing problems for you:

1. The other person’s actions are not under your control, however your actions are. You do not have to respond to the person in a negative way or answer screaming with screaming or any of a host of other unprofessional behaviors.
2. Treat everyone with the same level of professionalism no matter whether you like them or not. This means that if you dislike Jane and it is her job to do a report that you must provide inputs to, give them to her in the format she asks for them and on the schedule she needs them. Don’t make her hound you for them because you don’t like her or try to change what you give her without discussing it with her first. There are things you may not know about why she does things the way she does. If she needs your support to get a task that she is responsible for done, then give it to her the same way you would for someone you like. If someone has a responsibility that might be impacted by something you are doing, invite her to the meeting even if you don’t like her.
3. If you do lose your cool with someone, apologize as soon as you can and if the blow up was public, the apology should be as well.
4. Even the most incompetent occasionally does something right. Even if I don’t like someone, if that person does something that helps me or suggests something that is a good idea, I will publicly thank the person or support their idea in a meeting or pass information on to his boss about what a good job Tom did on whatever it was. If you are public about acknowledging what the person does that is right, you have more leverage when you object to the things you disagree with. Otherwise, your suggestions are often dismissed because everyone knows you and Tom don’t get along.
5. Recognize that the majority of issues with people not getting along have to do with personality type differences. Read about how different personality types handle things and try to figure out the personality type of the person you don’t get along with. You may learn a better way to handle interactions with that person that won’t bring an automatic conflict.
6. If a person is actually publicly nasty to you, don’t descend to their level. It will only make you look bad to everyone else.
7. If a person won’t cooperate with you, document the non-cooperation and ask management to deal with it. Do not be the non-cooperator.
8. Sometimes the person is under stresses you do not know about. Ask yourself if you wouldn’t have viewed the disagreement differently if you knew that the person had just found out his wife had left and moved in with someone else immediately before the meeting. Often what a person is really upset about does not have anything to do with you.
9. Sometimes a person acts badly towards you because he or she perceived that you didn’t like them when you first met (again, you could have really been thinking about something else or distracted at the time not really disliking the person at that point but perceptions count here not reality). In this case, a few compliments can go a long way toward rebuilding a relationship.
10. If you respect the person professionally but don’t get along, it will often pay to let the person know that you respect her professional skills. In my current position, I had someone who clearly disliked me from the day I came on board (mostly because he didn’t like my boss or the fact that we were a separate group not reporting directly to him). For awhile he was snippy with me every time I had to deal with him. I often got the impression he thought I was stupid for not knowing things that were obvious to him (he was one of the original 4 or 5 designers of our very complex database). Still I knew that he did know his stuff and was able through persistence (and through having a thick skin) to get him to explain things to me when I didn’t understand the implications for how things would affect the parts of the database I don’t work in. One day I decided to thank the people who helped me get up to speed and who help me accomplish my job on a daily basis and wrote a thank you email individually to each of them. In his, I expressed that I knew it was frustrating for him to deal with someone unfamiliar with the database and how much I appreciated his help in getting me up to speed and how much I respect his professional knowledge. I haven’t had a single issue with this person since I sent that note.
11. Don’t take things personally. A professional disagreement is just that, it doesn’t mean the person thinks you are horrible or that you are never right. It just means that you don’t agree on that issue. Over time you will have a lot of professional disagreements. Sometimes you are right and sometimes the other person is and sometimes nobody is.


"NOTHING is more important in a database than integrity." ESquared

 

[aarenot]

Although I am sure you are the exception to the rule. It sounds like the problem is you not anyone else.

 

[kmcferrin]

I think that Greg has it right. Make an honest, professional effort to either resolve or work around your differences. If you can't manage it and it's going to affect your career negatively (i.e., you see yourself "going postal" on them or they make your life absolutely miserable), then you can always leave.

Regarding your original question, I don't think that a short stint at a company is an issue for most people, as long as it's not a lot of short stints. When I left my last job several of my co-workers from other departments left around the same time (our "dream company" was bought out by a larger, "nightmare company" competitor), and several of them were on their second jobs within 3-6 months. I don't think that it's really all that uncommon for someone to "take anything that they can get" to avoid looming unemployment (or escape a bad situation), and then take their time to find "the right fit" professionally. Just don't make a habit of it.

If I see a resume where someone has left a job after only 2 months my first thought is usually that it must not have been a "good fit." I can even see a couple such jobs in succession as a person looks for something that motivates them. But if I see someone changing jobs every year it's a giant red flag.

 

[Recce]

Thanks for all the input everyone. Appreciate it. i will try and answer some of the more difficult Q's in order to try and prove that I am trying to be objective here:

aarenot said:"Although I am sure you are the exception to the rule. It sounds like the problem is you not anyone else."

I agree, I do not want to blame the other person. I am prapred to take responsibility for not being able to deal with this situation however, I would also like to mention that if there are other options, which there is then, I would for now choose to take one of those. After all, I am here to do my work for now and settle with the new company as soon as possible I don't see myself solving psycological issues right now cause I don't realy have the energy for it but, I will attend to this type of issue a bit later in my life.


"We know nothing but, that what we know is not the truth..." - Me

 

[aarenot]

Best of luck with all of the issues you mentioned. I have found for myself, reading Psalms, and Proverbs to be helpful in times of stress, and conflict which I am having trouble dealing with.