If there were such a way to do what you are asking for, do you think there would be as much Spam as there is?? Hell, the spammers would be so overwhelmed by the "returned" mail, their servers would shutdown.. If there was a way, someone would have come up with it by now !!
Usually the only way you would be able to do this is with Corporate senders. Sometimes you can delete a message 'without being read', but even that only works if they have a 'read reciept' attached. For general internet email, however, there's not much you can do.
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