Punography 5

[rjoubert]

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

 

[SantaMufasa]

I'm sorry that it took me over a month to award RJoubert his well-deserved

for starting this fun thread.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

 

[CajunCenturion]

The comment about Roy B. White reminded me of an old joke.

A Chinese couple, Mr. and Mrs. Wong, checked into their local hospital to have a baby. Immediately after delivery, Mr. Wong filed for divorce on the grounds that his wife was unfaithful. The evidence was clear: Two Wongs don't make a White.

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[flapeyre]

-- Francis
Francisus ego, sed non sum papa.

 

[djj55]

Once worked with a Forest Lane.

djj
The Lord is my shepherd (Psalm 23) - I need someone to lead me!

 

[SantaMufasa]

So, if we're embarking on unconventional names, I'll start with some interesting religious leaders:

[ul][li]Our local religious leader's surname was Bishop, so his title, of course, was Bishop Bishop.[/li]
[li]While serving as a missionary, I was teamed up for awhile with Elder Elder.[/li]
[li]One of the top religious leaders in the Catholic Church from the Philippines is Cardinal Sin.[/li][/ul]

And from the secular world, going to WhitePages.com it's pretty easy to locate many entries for:

[ul][li]Mr. Mister and Mrs. Mister[/li]
[li]Everywhere there are thousands of people that are Mr. Wright[/li]
[li]Mickey Mouse, Micki Mouse, Nicki Mouse, and Minnie Mouse in just New York alone.[/li]
[li]In California, Fu Yu, Hau Yu (fine, thank you very much), and Rong Yu and Derong Yu (how do you know when you have found Daright Yu?)[/li]
[li]Multiple states with José Canusi[/li]
[li]In California, Hye Me, Ja K Me, Phong Me, Hung Me, C Me, Chin Me, Bill Me (later?), Hu Me (yes, you). And in New York, Cherish Me[/li]
[li]In California, two "lucky ladies" married into their names, Penny Wise. Three more share that name in New York.[/li]
[li]Multiple entries for Tom Swift throughout the land.[/li]
[li]Multiple entries for Joe Cool, as well. In California, Gomer Cool (How can you have the name Gomer and be still be Cool?)[/li]
[li]In California, Sommer Mann (and what happens during the rest of the year?), D J Mann (what a cool job !), Richard Mann (Please don't call me "Dick".) Lucky Mann, and 9 entries for Anita Mann (with one of them being married to Kamal Mann).[/li]
[/ul]

I'm tired now...more some other time.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
"People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel."

 

[cmeagan656]

Where I live there was a police constable with the last name of Copp - Constable Copp. Also a Constable Law.

Hope this helps.

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[hjgoldstein]

The current Lord Chief Justice of England and Wales is Lord Judge (Igor Judge before his ennoblement).

And...

When I met and married "Miss Right" I didn't know her first name was "Always"

Aspiring to mediocrity since 1957

 

[johnherman]

Way back in the 1980's, when we still used multi-part perforated forms in our printers, our forms account rep was named Dick Devine. And while I was in grad school, I worked with a Robin Hood. Why do parents name their kids in such ways?

====================================
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there - original.

 

[maybeimaleo]

I worked with a guy named Jim Engineer. Or how about someone with the last name Bright. Is their middle name Ain't?

 

[judgeh59]

I knew a lady named Penny Nichols

Be Alert, America needs more lerts

 

[flapeyre]

I know someone named Gravely - who works at a cemetery.

-- Francis
Francisus ego, sed non sum papa.

 

[Annihilannic]

There is a town called Engineer in Tanzania.

Annihilannic
[small]tgmlify - code syntax highlighting for your tek-tips posts[/small]

 

[SkipVought]

How about John Cash Penny?

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[SkipVought]

Nobody's Business

I remember Bob Hudson as a Morning drive time radio host in Boston in the 70's. Hudson & Landry did some great comedy skits, including a remake of Who's on First.

I belly laugh every time I listen!

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[judgeh59]

Hudson and Landry.....I loved those guys.....the Weird Kingdom was great....thanks for the memories....

Be Alert, America needs more lerts

 

[SkipVought]

Ahhh, the gold 'gator tooth! ;-)

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[SkipVought]

actually a croc' after second thot.

The new and improved Whp's On First include some dialog like...
[tt]
S: Our center fielder's a girl, you know.
P: Is that so.
S: No, it's Sue.
P: Sue who?
S: That's right! Our first baseman's wife!
[/tt]


Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[judgeh59]

and the flatirons hanging from the earlobes...

Be Alert, America needs more lerts

 

[SkipVought]

I couldn't live like that!"

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[blister911]

We have a Penny Nichols and a Brandee Drinken where I work.


Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.