Proof that English is an absolutely crazy language 1

[SantaMufasa]

This may not be a News Clip, and it certainly is not a News Flash to anyone who has ever tried to learn English, but the following should be ample proof that English is not for the faint of heart or for anyone looking for pronunciation consistency. Be ready to put the em-PHAS'-is on a different syl-LAB'-le for each word:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
21) I plan to read the book that she read yesterday.

I have utmost respect for any English-Second-Language (ESL) person who can survive these types of linguistic gymnastics.



Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

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[BobRodes]

How about "We'll cough up enough dough to get the bough sawn through"?

 

[SantaMufasa]

Yes, Bob, in addition to your 5 featured "ough" words with differing quadragraphs:

bough : au
cough : off
dough : oh
enough : uff
through: oo

don't forget:

ought : aw

Ain't English great!?!?



Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[earthandfire]

I think its all rather fishy.

 

[PaulTEG]

Isn't that ghoti i
--Paul

cigless ...

 

[earthandfire]

 

[GwydionM]

Don't forget rough dough-faced ploughmen wandering through Slough.

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK

 

[BobRodes]

Ah yes, I was lumping cough and ought together.

So, is sushi rough fish?

 

[GwydionM]

I'd gad to see the branches stir
On the ship canal at Manchester
But in the strawbery fields Gloucester
I lost her

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK

 

[yanqui]

Here in America we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.

 

[flapeyre]

And your nose can run, and your feet can smell.

Privates eat in the general mess, and generals eat in a private mess.

Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni!

 

[SantaMufasa]

Gwydion, When I lived in the UK, I was under the (possibly mistaken) impression that the town of "Slough" rhymed with "through". If that is the case, then your phrase has 4 of the 6 "ough" phonemes. If the pronunciation, in fact, rhymes with one of the two missing phonemes, then we still need the sixth phoneme. So, to assuredly cover all the bases, I recommend changing "Rough dough-faced ploughmen wandering through Slough" to "Rough dough-faced ploughmen ought not to cough in Slough."

If would be nice to get the definitive pronunciation of "Slough", however, just so I can sleep at night.


Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[

http://www.dasages.com:

Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.

 

[xlbo]

Mufasa - I have always heard it pronounced such that Slough rhymes with Plough (or "wow" if you need any further clarification)

as an addendum, I am myself part of these phonemes - my surname being Barraclough (that'd be to rhyme with enough), although I may be dropping it soon to be "Dan" (which is far easier to pronounce)

Rgds, Geoff

Three things are certain. Death, taxes and lost data. DPlank is to blame

Please read FAQ222-2244 before you ask a question

 

[BobRodes]

Really. And I always said "Barraclow"! Sorry Geoff.

Bob

 

[SilentAiche]

Geoff,

From what I've seen
of your generousity
to your fellow Tipsters,

Clearly your name
must rhyme
with Wow.

Tim
(experienced non-poet)



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[snuv]

I was taught to pronounce Slough, the town, to rhyme with "Wow"

I was taught to pronounce slough, as in "the snake sloughed off it's skin", to rhyme with "stuff"

I could be wrong about either or both.



"If it could have gone wrong earlier and it didn't, it ultimately would have been beneficial for it to have." : Murphy's Ultimate Corollary

 

[PaulTEG]

I could be wrong about either or both.

That's a bit non-committal, 'ere I know you, you woz Tony Blair

@snuv you're dead right, but ... ... ... ,--.

cigless ...

 

[xlbo]

Thanks Tim

Rgds, Geoff

Three things are certain. Death, taxes and lost data. DPlank is to blame

Please read FAQ222-2244 before you ask a question

 

[jakeyg]

Lived in Shrewsbury which the locals pronounce as Shrewsbury but the telly bods always say shrowsbury. Maybe more Salopians need to be recruited ;-)

And why is Shropshire shortened to Salop?

 

[xlbo]

at least it wasn't Worcester (pr. Wuster for our non UK brethren)

Rgds, Geoff

Three things are certain. Death, taxes and lost data. DPlank is to blame

Please read FAQ222-2244 before you ask a question