Project managers are the make, and the break of the project, end of story. They are responsible for the project, and thus need to manage it, as well as the resources needed for the project. This includes the people resources as well as the physical resources.
The single best resource a project manager has is the feedback of the human resources they utilize in completing their projects. Listen little to positive feedback from the human resources about your project management. Encourage negative feedback by listening, validating, utilizing the feedback to improve the way your project management proccess, and style of management impacts the project resources.
A good project manager serves those who work the project, not the other way around. They are more important than you are, and need to be made to feel so by you. In most cases, if you were a guru at what they did, you would not be allowed to stop doing it, and thus not be a project manager in the first place.
These "hard to manage" people are probable products of previous project managers/managers that quite frankly alienated people with their lack of servant attitude. No one wants to be managed, they want to be lead. The great leaders served thier people, not the other way around.
Maxwell has a great book called "developing the leader within you" check it out, I have lead many teams over the past 20 years, and I use it like a field manual. It serves me well. Also, find the person in your life who you most wanted to follow, emulate them, and see if they will mentor you.
Bad leaders in postions of power are followed by most paid to follow, with a few stragglers, or "hard to lead" followers. Good leaders in positions of power influence most who they lead, and have very few "hard to lead" followers which they learn to influence by leading. Great leaders have next to none "hard to lead" followers because they have learned to create followers.
if you want to decide if you are a bad, good, or great leader, look behind you, and see if you have followers. The more you have, the better leader you are, the less you have the less of a leader you are. With very, very, very, very few exceptions in a leaders life the look behind says more about you, and less about them.
lastly, a good leader is allergic to taking credit, and addicted to taking the heat.