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minimalist haiku

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tgreer

tgreer

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Oct 4, 2002
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It's a sub-genre... this group might enjoy it. One of my own as example:


geeseasonorouskies


 
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I don't get it. [pc1]

boyd.gif

 
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Clever poetry.
Is it really haiku?
One wonders.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard. [dragon]
 
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Haiku: a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

Obviously it's not haiku, but it IS very clever, and I would imagine extremely difficult to write (at least well).

I should have looked up the definition before I submitted my first response. It was a lame attempt at humor: asking "is it haiku" with a haiku. It should have been more like:

Clever poetry.
But is it really haiku?
I don't believe so.



Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard. [dragon]
 
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That defintion of haiku is out-of-date and greatly flawed from the beginning. It hasn't been used by contemporary English-language haikai poets for at least 20 years.

But minimals are hard to write. Not as hard as palindromes, but "finding" something that makes sense is a chore.

Here's a couple from Emily Romano:

sitcommericialsophomoric

incrediblenergyratingrasskirtedancer

My problem is that those aren't particularly "poetic". It's very contrived, but again, I thought this group might have fun with them.

Try it!

Thomas D. Greer

Providing PostScript & PDF
Training, Development & Consulting
 
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I haven't heard of the "minimalist haiku", but I am aware of the 3-5-3 type as opposed to the 5-7-5. From what I understand, 5-7-5 is much harder to compose in Japanese than in English and usually will contain fewer words, so people started using 3-5-3 in English to make it more like the original.

I went looking for a link to back that up - here is the first site I found.

Also of possible interest to those new to, but interested in Haiku (these are old, but pretty funny):
Windows Error Message Haiku
Examples:
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Spam Haiku - Example:
I envision a
world where all mankind shares SPAM
and none go without.
____
Well, here's my first shot at a minimalist haiku:
Theadvancestralatitiouselessons
Code: 
[tt][COLOR=white]the 
 head
   advances
      ancestral
           tralatitious
                     useless
                        lessons[/color][/tt]




[tt]-John[/tt]
________________________
To get the best answers fast, please read faq181-2886
 
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NCOmposeditions
Code: 
[white]NCO
 compose[d]
   posed
     sedition
      editions[/white]
Sarge wrote some deceptive tracts to incite unrest.

'sPretty bad.

[red]Note:[/red] [gray]The above comments are the opinionated ravings of Mr3Putt. As such, Mr3Putt accepts no responsibility for damages, real or contrived, resulting from acceptance of his opinions as fact.[/gray]
 
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My Minimalist Haiku
Ungodlyrickingloriously
Code: 
[tt][COLOR=white]Ungodly
     lyric
       ricking
           ingloriously[/color][/tt]
 
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A slight (and probably improper) expansion of my prior weak effort:
ncomposeditionsoftware
Code: 
[white]nco
 composed
    posed
       editions of
      sedition software[/white]

Sarge released multiple versions of software, inaccurately describing methods of creating unrest.
 
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Makes no darn sense, but here 'tis anyway.

In a 'minimalist Haiku', is each 'line' supposed to consist of ONLY a single word?

bramblessandlessayistickeelfatontherebeck
Code: 
[white]brambles
    bless
     less and less
        sandless,
             essayistic keelfat.
               Say I stick eel-fat on the
                            elf? A ton there be
                                    on the rebeck.[/white]

Good grief. That's just plain ugly and tortured.

The twining vines are no more on the clean and inspiring beer cooler. Hey! How 'bout I put some fish guts on the gnome!? Looks like you got a lot on his fiddle.

 
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Look again at my examples for the proper "structure". One word blending into the next, with no "regressions".

goose
seaon
onourous
skies

or

winter
internment

If I wanted to buid on that last one, maybe something with "mental":

winternmental

and then what, al.. alone? alienation?

winternmentalienation?

Get the idea? Yes, single words blending into each other, rather than phrases.



Thomas D. Greer

Providing PostScript & PDF
Training, Development & Consulting
 
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winterment

Code: 
[white]winter
 interment

burying bodies underneath the white stuff![/white]
 
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tgreer,

Could you confirm my expansion of the two examples by Emily Romano you provided (sitcommericialsophomoric and incrediblenergyratingrasskirtedancer)?

I'm not sure if I'm reading them correctly. All I'm seeing in them is:
Code: 
[COLOR=white][tt]sitcom
   commercials
             sophmoric

and 

incredible
         energy
             gyrating
                    grass
                        skirted
                              dancer[/tt]
(At first I thought this one was 
[tt]incredible
         energy
               rating
                    grass
                        skirted
                              dancer[/tt]
and was very confused how we went from energy-ratings to hula dancers!)

You did say that "those aren't particularly 'poetic'" and that they are "contrived", but I just want to make sure I'm reading them correctly - because they seem [b]extrememly[/b] contrived and unpoetic.[/color]

[tt]-John[/tt]
________________________
To get the best answers fast, please read faq181-2886
 
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winternmentailsleepingrates

or

winternmentallyingratestingrates

[cheers] & all the best.
 
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cleverlyriciseduction

Code: 
[white]cleverly
      lyricised
            seduction[/white]
 
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