I can't believe it! I can see my network!. I haven't actually done any of the things you've suggested, just played with the wifi button. It's now flickering instead of steady (I thought since it was blue that it was on, then noticed that when I pushed the button nothing happened to the light. A few more pushes and it started flickering). I clicked on Network, and there were all the computers both in this office and the other office that's connected by VPN. So- the wireless is WORKING!!! And yes I feel like an idiot for not playing with the button before, and wonder how many things I've done that I didn't need to do. But I've also learned a lot about terminal commands, which I knew nothing about a couple weeks ago- so not a total waste of time. I'm giving you both stars for all your suggestions and putting up with my learning curve.
BUT_ I'm still not getting to the internet, which is really what I need it to be able to do. While I can ping the router and server, and bring up the router interface with Firefox, it is not showing the laptop as an attached device like the other computers. Also when I try traceroute to computers I can ping, I get "no reply". Any ideas why I can ping, get to the network, and not show up as being on the network, or get online?