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light hearted relief 18

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gurner

gurner

Technical User
Feb 13, 2002
522
US
How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and 1 to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
 
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You forgot....

245 discussing certification v real-world experience v degree for light bulb changers
 
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300 on the side of Micosoft's new Light Bulb Virtual Machine

695 against
 
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And 18 to point out that this is an ANSI Light Bulb forum and Microsoft isn't ANSI-compliant; therefore having no place in this forum!
 
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And 24 asking "what's a light bulb?" and contributing nothing useful to the thread
 
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And 79 asking for help with their Light Bulb 101 homework.
 
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Don't forget the 10 who debate whether it was ethical to obtain a copy of the lightbulb without paying for it, even if they owned the original light bulb from which the copy was made...
 
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And of course:

Can anybody tell me whether this is a 40 watt or a 60 watt bulb? I'm too illiterate to RTFPackage, and the stamp on top says LOOW for some reason, or is that a 1?
 
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There might be one post from user AlGore claiming to have invented the light bulb.
 
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The final posting would probably come from a new form member who, after being impressed with the depth of knowledge displayed by other members, would ask:

"How do I add a print button to an Access report?"


--
Mike

In defeat: unbeatable. In victory: unbearable. -- Winston Churchill
 
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Don't forget the three dozen posts complaining about how light bulbs used to be manufactured in the USA, but are now being built overseas by heartless light bulb companies who's only interest is crippling American workers.
 
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Another 14 to complain about the lack of stars given out by the "new" light bulb changers.
 
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At least 15 posts debating the merits of traditional bulbs versus halogen and their cost-effectiveness. [upsidedown]

[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant/Custom Forms & PL/SQL - Oracle 8.1.7 - Windows 2000
 
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Well, at least discussing incandescent vs halogen has, to at least some degree, technological merit.

Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein
 
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I got 7 people here asking when the next light bulb Service Pack is out.
 
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A group of mental patients was engaged in some therapeutic work in the basement of the institution.

When the superintendent came round, he saw that they were all busy at the carpentry benches and lathes, except for one inmate who was hanging by his ankles from the ceiling.

`What's going on here?' he asked.

`Don't take any notice of him,' said one of the inmates.

`He thinks he's a light-bulb.'

`Well,' said the superintendent with a smile, `I'll soon take care of that. I'll just turn him off!'

He stepped over to the wall switch and one of the other patients shouted,

`Hey, wait a minute! How do you expect us to work in the dark?'


Source:
[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant/Custom Forms & PL/SQL - Oracle 8.1.7 - Windows 2000
 
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1 to use the [LOL] icon

Nate

mainframe.gif

 
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