It is not just IT support that gets 'those' calls 18

[Turkbear]

From an actual golf course pro shop:

ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE (Amherst, Mass.)


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What are your green fees?
Staff: 38 dollars.
Caller: Does that include golf?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I need to get some information from you. First, is this
your correct phone number?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, we have a tee time for two weeks from Friday. What's the
weather going to be like that day?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I had a tee time for this afternoon but I'm running late.
Can you still get me out early?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have one of those areas where you can buy a bucket of
golf balls and hit them for practice?
Staff: You mean a driving range?
Caller: No, that's not it..,,,


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I'd like to get a tee time tomorrow between 12
o'clock and noon.
Staff: Between 12 o'clock and noon?
Caller: Yes.
Staff: We'll try to squeeze you in.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have any open tee times around 10 o'clock?
Staff: Yes, we have one at 10:15.
Caller: What's the next time after that?
Staff: We have one at 10:22.
Caller: We'll take that one. It will be a bit warmer.



Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: How much to play golf today?
Staff: 25 to walk, 38 with a cart.
Caller: 38 dollars?
Staff: No, 38 yen.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: What do you have for tee times tomorrow?
Staff: What time would you like?
Caller: What times do you have?
Staff: What time of the day?
Caller: Any time.
Staff: Morning or afternoon?
Caller: Whenever.
Staff: We have 16 times open in the morning and 20 open in the
afternoon. Would you like me to read the whole list?
Caller: No, I don't think any of those times will work for me.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a dress code?
Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.
Caller: How about clothes?
Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls?
Staff: Sorry, we're all out of large balls. But we can give you twice
as many small balls for the same price.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?
Staff: Sure, what time would you like?
Caller: Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock. In the morning, if
possible.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there?
Staff: Yes, they're 25 dollars.
Caller: How much to rent a bag?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, my husband just called me on his cell phone and told me he's
on the 15th hole. How many more holes does he have to play before he gets to the 18th?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a large bucket?
Staff: Four dollars.
Caller: Does that include the balls?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a twilight rate?
Staff: Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock.
Caller: And what time does that start?


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I'd like some info about your golf course.
Staff: OK, what would you like to know?
Caller: I don't know, that's why I called.


Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: My kids just came home with pockets full of range balls and said
they stole them from your driving range. Would you like to buy them back?

To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[BobRodes]

Golf: a good walk spoiled.

- Mark Twain

 

[Welshbird]

My one and only golf joke:

Friends go off to sunny Spain on a golfing holiday, and one is lucky enough to hire Seve Ballesteros' old caddy.

The are walking up the seventh to see his ball when he askes the caddy 'So - what club would Seve have used here?'

'Seven iron' replies the caddy.

'Oh' says the golfer. 'And what club do you think I should use?'

'Four wood' replies the caddy. 'Twice...'

Fee

"The cure for anything is salt water – sweat, tears, or the sea." Isak Dinesen

 

[gbaughma]

I should start a new thread for golf jokes....

... in fact, I think I shall.



Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[Opieo]

Maybe it is my ignorace of golf, but I just don't get that Fee.
Right over my head.

~
“Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky, and loaded with danger.” — Ace Ventura.

 

[LeeMcCauslin]

Opieo - given a consistent swing, a four wood should hit a ball much farther than a 7 iron - so the joke is that Seve (a pro golfer) can reach the green with his 7 iron while the duffer will need 2 swings of what should be a much farther club. The caddy is saying duffer gots no skills. ;-)

"Dyin'? Boy, He can have this little life any time He wants to. Do Ya hear that? Are ya hearin' it? Come on. You're welcome to it, Ol' Timer. Let me know You're up there. Come on. Love me, hate me, kill me, anything. Just let me know it... I'm just standin' in the rain talkin' to myself."