How should I respond to idiots? 26

[SantaMufasa]

Abbie is a miniature teacup poodle that owns us. She has been our owner since we bought her after she was weaned; she is now approaching 9 years old. When she was 7 years old, she started bumping into things and becoming generally grouchy (even when not bumping into things).

The veterinarian determined that one eye had an irreparable detached lens and the other eye had an equally untreatable case of Glaucoma (that was causing extreme pressure in that eye and terrible headaches, thus the grouchiness).

The vet indicated that Abbie's breed often live into their late teens, and the vet said that putting Abbie to sleep was not necessary, but eye removal was in order.

Abbie has lived a very happy life since her eye removals, she gets around just fine, and generally enjoys life to its "non-visual" fullest.

...Which now leads us to the "idiot" part: Abbie loves to accompany us out in public, cuddling up in our jacket and poking her head out the top (to "see" where she is going). People who see Abbie immediately come up and want to make friends with Abbie, which she does very nicely.

But when people notice her disability, they say:

She has no eyes...How does she see?

What can you suggest as some acceptable, non-insulting, "quickie comebacks" for their obviously silly remarks.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[Gooser]

Sure, give 'em the stinkeye.

--Gooser

 

[Gooser]

Shout, in an inappropriately loud way, "WHAT ARE YOU, BLIND?

 

[ESquared]

Tell them your dog courageously gave her eyes to be transplanted intto an orphan that lost hers in an orphanage fire.

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

Tell them the Vet made a big mistake ... and you've not seen eye to eye since.

[Cheers]

 

[SamBones]

Get a little Purple Heart to hang from her collar and tell them she's a combat veteran.

 

[gbaughma]

AND....

Out comes the blind jokes. Before anyone flames me, these came from my (totally) blind friend Jim.

This guy walks into the hardware store with his seeing eye dog, picks the dog up by the collar and starts swinging him around! The manager walks up and says "Can I help you sir?" The blind guy says "Nah.. just having a look around!"

Why are there very few blind parachutists?
... it scares the hell out of the dog!

How does a blind parachutist know when to pull the rip cord?
... slack in the leash!

The passengers aboard the plane looked a little nervous, as the blind pilot and blind co-pilot both entered with their white canes. As they picked up speed down the runway, and approached the end, several passengers let out a yell, at which point the pilot pulled back on the yoke and took off smoothly. Turning to the co-pilot, he said "You know, one day they're not going to scream and we're going to be in real trouble.

You know, as I sit here thinking of other jokes he's told me, I realize that they can't be told in mixed company...

... so I'll stop now.



Just my 2¢

"When I die, I want people to say 'There was a wise man' instead of 'Finally, his mouth is shut!'" --Me
--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[AnotherHiggins]

A blind man walks into a bar.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.

 

[SBerthold]

Some have eyes to see with, but are still blind in the mind.
Some have eyes to see with, but will never see.
Some see with the heart.
Some with the ears.
Some with a hand, a finger.
Some show with the eyes of a touch, a word, a shout, a whisper, a kiss, a warmth.
Some people have eyes to see with, but are blind in the heart.
Some may always be needlessly blind.
It is of more value to see with the heart, than to see with eyes.
Are you sometimes blind too?

 

[Trevoke]

Or, quoting St Exupery's "The Little Prince"..
"What is important is invisible to the eyes. One can only see rightly with the heart."

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

 

[Welshbird]

I think you should train her to growl on demand.. followed by looking really weally cute...

Fee

The question should be [red]Is it worth trying to do?[/red] not [blue] Can it be done?[/blue]

 

[Gooser]

Tell them, "Jesus said, 'Blessed are those who have not seen, but believe.'"

--Gooser

 

[ESquared]

Have you considered getting glass eyes for her? I doubt it's possible for a dog...

 

[tsdragon]

I think I'd just tell them "not very well" and leave it at that.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.