great quotes heard around the world...tell me what you've heard! 2

[spewn]

i found this really good one right now:

"the net is not about technology, it's about people - a fact that is obvious to everyone except to we programmers."
- craig newmark (craigslist.org)

and...

truly great companies aren't built by the greedy, but by the passionate." - william gurley

and...

"i don't mind learning, i just don't like being taught." - winston churchill

just wanted to share...what good, thought provoking quotes have you heard?

- g

 

[SantaMufasa]

1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp in Redmond, WA.)

2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting manager, ElectricBoat Company)

4. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

5. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them. (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

6. My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers)

7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

9. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

10. We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)

11. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager Hallmark Greeting Cards.)

12. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo in one of the sentences I mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch.

When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for perverts" (pedophilia?) working in her company. Finally, he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired - and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. " - Albert Einstein.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[dgillz]

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ....Benjamin Franklin.

Software Sales, Training, Implementation and Support for Macola, eSynergy, and Crystal Reports

http://www.gainfocus.biz

 

[tsdragon]

God does not play dice with the universe." (Albert Einstein)

"Murphy does." (Tracy Dryden)


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[glenntb]

I have "collected" quotes for a long time now. Here are some of my favorites:

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." - Earl Wilson

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." - Barry Switzer

"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works." -Unknown

"America is built on a tilt and everything loose slides to California." - Mark Twain

"Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching." -Dogbert

"Do, or do not. There is no try." -Yoda

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." - Mario Andretti

"In three words, I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

"Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there." -Unknown

... and my (so far) all time favorites:

"When I am working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong." - Buckminster Fuller

"Everything is always impossible before it works." -Hunt Greene, Businessman

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney

Enjoy!

Glenn

 

[Crowley16]

"we cannot choose what we are, however what are we but the sum of our choices", can't remember who...

--------------------
Procrastinate Now!

 

[Stella740pl]

"We cannot choose what we are, yet what are we but the sum of our choices?"
That's Shakespeare.

 

[hilfy]

One I found recently:

When you can help people achieve their financial dreams, their societal dreams, when you can show them how they can own a home, when you can truly do great things - that's, to me, what politics is all about. Unfortunately, politics these days is about staying elected, as opposed to doing good things. -Jerry Doyle (Garibaldi on Babylon 5)

I've got several others, but they're on my home computer...I'll try to post them later.

-Dell


A computer only does what you actually told it to do - not what you thought you told it to do.

 

[MakeItSo]

You never go wrong with quoting Twain:

If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty. If it is loaded my immortal and inflexible purpose is to get over the fence and go home. My invariable practice in war has been to bring out of every fight two-thirds more men than when I went in. This seems to me Napoleonic in its grandeur.
- "Mark Twain as a Presidential Candidate," New York Evening Post, 6/9/1879

Einstein:

"Subtle is the Lord; but malicious he is not".
To Oscar Veblen 1921, regarding an experimental result purporting to contradict general relativity (subsequently the result was found to be wrong). Inscribed over the fireplace in the Faculty Lounge of the Mathematics Department of Princeton University.

"I have second thoughts. Maybe God is malicious".
To. V. Bargmann.

or Gandhi:

You must be the change you want to see in the world.

[blue]An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - "Mahatma" Mohandas K. Gandhi[/blue]

 

[SantaMufasa]

Some great advice from a wall in Scotland (subsequently quoted throughout his life by David O. McKay):

What e'er thou art, act well thy part.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[elanor]

My favorite proverb is from Scotland:

"When God made time, he made plenty of it."

Thanks!
Elanor

 

[spewn]

i like:

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." - Barry Switzer

or

"America is built on a tilt and everything loose slides to California." - Mark Twain

yep, especially the women!

i also like the one that goes something like:

"All you have after a crisis is your conduct during it." - Winston Churchill (i think)

- spewn

 

[jennuhw]

Have to throw in my favorite Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy (SNL) quote:

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.'

 

[tsdragon]

I've always thought that these were wise words to live by:

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and confirm it."


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[craigsboyd]

jennuhw,

Here are my favorites (the second one is my all-time favorite)...

If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, 'Well, technically that's illegal.' It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

http://www.sweetpotatosoftware.com

 

[SantaMufasa]

Craig, all I can say [tongue planted in cheek] is that you (and Jack Handey) are sad, pathetic little men [/tongue planted in cheek]. <grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[craigsboyd]

http://www.sweetpotatosoftware.com

 

[GlenJohnson]

My all time favorite.

If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed.

Glen A. Johnson
If you're from the Illinois, Wisconsin or Florida area, check out Tek-Tips in Chicago IL
To get the best answers to your questions, check out faq950-5848

 

[umn]

Here're a couple of quotes that got etched in my mind - these are displayed in the office of Dr. Devi Shetty, one of the most successful, truely philanthropic heart surgeons in India:

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.

And another one:

Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that has.

Don't know if these are his original quotes...

Here's another one not related to Dr. Shetty - seems it's a proverb- but i's very very true in practice!

Beware the fury of a patient man.

[um.narayanan@gmail.com]