Good To See You Whatsyourname

[CrystalStart]

...If you do happen to run into someone whom you previously met and can't remember their name, you have two options:

Look delighted to see them, lock eyes and extend a warm "Good to see you again," and then find out their name from a friend or guest list later. "

What is this type of behaviour called?
They actually teaching it at today's msn site.

 

[jakeyg]

I think it's called "life"
I've got a terrible memory for names so this happens a lot to me :-(

 

[CrystalStart]

Me too, but I am honestly telling right in face that I am terrible with names and I will ask again.
But "Looking delighted to see them" and even more "lock eyes and extend a warm "Good to see you again," (I see the kiss suggestion is coming) "and then find out their name from a friend or guest list later" seems so ... what a word I am looking for?

 

[jebenson]

Intelligent?

I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

 

[Dimandja]

After trying every trick in the book to poor results, I have resorted to outright asking for the name and explaining that I am bad with names (but good with faces). Now, many acquaintances think I am a little coockoo...

__________________________________________
Try forum1391 for lively discussions

 

[AnotherHiggins]

CS,

An ex-girlfriend of a friend asked me my name about the first 5-10 times we met. This was insulting to me. Of course, she also couldn't remember having met me before, so that might have something to do with the offense. In her defense she was pretty well sloshed upon our first several meetings.

Anyway, my point is that even if you see this as a kind of lie of omission, it is, at worst, a 'little white lie'. It spares the forgotten's feelings and doesn't harm anyone.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue]
[/tt][red]"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."[/red]
-Mitch Hedberg

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.

 

[jakeyg]

sadly I'm (apparantly) very memorable
how and why I don't know, no-one can tell me why
so I get a lot of "we met 3 years ago in alices back garden" and I can't even remember who alice is!

 

[MakeItSo]

I think it's called "life"

Oh yes...

BTW: I found out, that, the stranger the name sounds, the better I can memorize it. I was supervising some software tests in our company. The testers were all students who came once a week for 1 hour. Normally the students came at the same time each week. After 3 weeks I had memorized 320 names, no one had to say "Hello, I have a date for 3 p.m." anymore.
Scared the willies especially out of those of Indian descent, whose name you could hardly pronounce, not to speak of memorize! "Ah, Mr. Srivigalinghamanas. Sit down!"

...Sigh...and then I come across some Mr. Smith whom I haven't seen for two months and BANG! name is gone...

[blue]An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - "Mahatma" Mohandas K. Gandhi[/blue]

 

[LFCfan]

"Hello, I have a date for 3 p.m."

ooh eer ;-)

 

[columb]

I have had a number of long conversations with people who remember me (because I fixed their computer!) and I've little or no recollection of them. I find that 'What are you doing nowadays?' gives a lot of helpful clues. You still may not remember their name but at least you can sound as if you do and reduce the offence aspect. Beware the still queen trap!

When users call me on the phone and expect me to recognise thier voice I ask for their user name for technical reasons and a quick 'grep <username> /etc/passwd' reveals their full name.

Columb Healy

 

[jebenson]

When I was in college, I had (well, still do have) really long curly red hair, and I would try to sit toward the front of my classes. This created situations, usually two or three times per semester, where someone would come up to me and start talking as if they were familiar with me, but I had no clue as to who this person was. After a little conversation, I would usually figure out that they were in X class with me. They remembered/recognized me because of my distinctive look, but I did not know them...hey, all the "short-hairs" look alike to us long-haired hippie freaks! ;D



I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

 

[SantaMufasa]

I have found the least embarrasing method to deal with "name loss" is when I see someone whose name I've "mis-placed", I extend my hand and say, "Hi, Dave Hunt".

They usually say, "Yes, Dave, I remember you...I'm <fill-in-name-here>. At least that way, they've preserved their "name-remembrance image", and they usually give me their name as a natural response.

If they don't give me their name, I use some form of self-deprication like, "You obviously have fresher gery-matter than I have. Of course, I'm much older than you are and I'm suffering from 'Old-timers' disease. You'll need to remind me your name."

At least then, everything is handled with good nature and humor versus the discomfort of a usually-soon-to-be-obvious-and-embarrasing deception.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[SilentAiche]

I, too, am apparently very memorable, probably because I am a big guy at 6'4". Unfortunatley, that characteristic is combined with my terrible recollection of names. I have an especially bad time when I see people out of their normal context, for example seeing a teacher at the mall.

I've tried Santa's quick intro method, but I haven't always been the quickest draw (the other person opens with, "Tim, it's been a long time." Can't introduce yourself after that without looking loopy).

I also wish people would introduce themselves on the phone every time they call. A former co-worker called to wish me happy birthday a couple of years ago and it was five minutes into the conversation before she realized I thought she was someone else.

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[tsdragon]

I guess if we expanded the thread to include non-language pet peeves, people not introducing themselves on the phone and expecting you to just recognize their voice would be another one of mine. I hate it!

As a male with the name Tracy, people tend to remember my name better than I remember theirs too. I've tried a lot of different methods for handling the forgotten name, and I finally just decided on the honest approach: "I'm sorry, but I have a terrible memory for names, what was yours again?" If said with the properly sheepish look of contrition, it rarely annoys people.

I've also found a good technique for improving my memory of people's names. I read somewhere that if you actually say the person's name three times when you first hear it, you will most likely remember it. I've tried that and it works more often than not. The first repetition is always easy: just repeat their name back to them as a question, to make sure you've gotten it right. Then try to use their name in the conversation a time or two. It really does help.


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[Jomama46]

This is perfect! I found it in Columbs link.

"It was on the crumbling page of hundred-year-old etiquette book that Miss Manners came across the solution to that enduring problem of what to say when confronted with a person whose name you know you are expected to know but don't. The answer comes to us from an anonymous Victorian, apparently a Hero of Etiquette but described merely as "a good-natured eccentric." Beaming a jovial smile at a vaguely familiar face, he would inquire in a pleasant, oh-by-the-by tone, "You don't happen to remember your name, do you?""

Jomama