Friends and Employees 1

[JimmyZ1]

I've been building my career as an IT person and recently was put into a management roll, but I only have 1 employee so it's kind of special case, but when I end up with more employees were do you draw the line at having employees and who you can be friends with?

Is it difficult being friends with your employees?

Should you treat them as friends or will they try to walk on you?

 

[Sheco]

Everyone thinks their boss is an idiot.

 

[JimmyZ1]

yeah, but i'm smarter than them... that's why i'm the boss

 

[Stella001]

Treat them with respect and you will earn their respect back. Then once that is extablished the friendship is easier.

 

[kHz]

I don't think you can just be "one of the guys" anymore, where you go out after work to chug a few or shoot pool. They will think of you as their friend which will make it harder to carry out uncomfortable tasks (bad review, no raise, whatever). Or they may believe they can sluff off without having to work as hard because you're the friend who will cover for them. If you don't your boss will come down on you. If you don't they will feel you are not their friend anymore. Just their boss.

You might go have a few beers or attend a ballgame to bring the team closer together, but that shouldn't be a pattern.

The military has fraternization rules for these reasons.

 

[Sheco]

Now that I am your boss, you can expect the power to go to my head. This will slowly turn me into a PHB. I am too good for you. Sorry. Thats just the way things are.


/Now fetch me some coffee.

 

[LadySlinger]

I think of it as a very delicate process. You can't talk about fellow managers if they bring up how mean Susie is in Accounting as word could spread around and hurt you politically.
This also goes in reverse as you can become too "buddy/buddy" with them making them feel uncomfortable. I.e. I had a boss that thought of me as a better friend then I thought of him. He would ask me things about my personal life, but instead of saying "So what are your plans this weekend?" he would say "So do you have any hot dates this weekend? No? You're not kickin' it with anyone?".
(Needless to say even after talking to him about it and not being respected, I left the company.)

I think the best way to put it would be a professional friendship. You can invite them over for games and such, but I wouldn't get carried away too far.

 

[JimmyZ1]

good point, thanks for all the advice...

now were did I leave that mean streak...

 

[araLe]

Don't forget:

"Familiarity breeds contempt

 

[Corran007]

You can be friends with your boss. As long of both of you know they are the boss and you work for them. I have a great relalatioship with my prior boss. I left my last company for a great job half way accross the coutnry. She was happy for me. She helped my wife pack up our house and is coming to visit this summer. This is over a year after i left. I would call her a friend. However we both never forgot that she was the boss. She would stomp on my foot when i tried to step to far over the line and i never took advantage of our friendship. I think that is when you run into problems.

 

[mikeydidit]

Corran007 has a good point. I consider myself and my boss to be good friends. We have only known and worked around each other for 26 years now. Their is a line that I do not cross and still do everything (and more) that is expected of me.

On the other hand I went from working with some of my people to being their boss. Some of the guys continued doing what they do and expected nothing. Some pushed and expected everything to change for the better for them. I had problems needless to say.

I was forced into the "I am the boss role", even though that was not the role I wanted to play. After that was settled we are back to the “I am the easy boss as long as you do what you are supposed to “stage, and I have very few problems now.

To make it short, it is going to depend on the people you have working for you. Now that everyone I have knows what I expect of them, we all work together and get a lot accomplished without problems.




Mikey

 

[aarenot]

I am an experienced leader, and personal relatiuonships are the single most important aspect of your leadership ststus. You can have a title, that does not make you a leader. Being the boss is a leadership position politicaly, that does not make you a leader. The best definition of how a leader is defined is this. If you look over your shoulder, and people are following you, then you are a leader. If they are not following you, then you are not a leader. A boss is supposed to be a leader. Lead by example.
Be a real friend, do not take advantage, or hold back respect, appreciation, credit, or rewards. Expect the same. If they expect special considerationsd from the boss, they are not your friend, do not keep this position to yourself. You can be friends with your direct reports, I have had mines kids go camping with my family, over for dinner, etc. My direct reports have come to me with personal problems like pending divorce, death of spouse, kids, parents, etc. There is nothing wrong with this.
That does not say that some will not try to take advantage of your relationship, if you allow that to happen, that is the issue, not the friendship. Have a backbone and tell them if they expect that type of consideration, then you will not consider them your friend. In fact , tell them that expectation from them lowers your perception of them as a friend, and as a member of your team. This type of behaviour will effect both your personal, and business relationship in a negative fashion. Have enough personal integrity to not choose favorites based on anything but performance, and you should be fine. That will be respected by any real friend, and any valuable direct report.

You do not always get what you pay for, but you never get what you do not pay for.