StockcarsRus
IS-IT--Management
Would it kill people to be pleasant and use proper manners in email? I would like to delete some of the email that I get without responding, but I would probably not have a job anymore! Does this bug anyone else?
Tek-Tips is the largest IT community on the Internet today!
Members share and learn making Tek-Tips Forums the best source of peer-reviewed technical information on the Internet!
-
Congratulations strongm on being selected by the Tek-Tips community for having the most helpful posts in the forums last week. Way to Go!
Email Etiquette
- Thread starter StockcarsRus
- Start date
- Status
I wholeheartedly agree with you, Stockcarsrus.
When I write email, I write it as if it were a business communication, with care taken over grammar, spelling and punctuation, regardless of who the recipient is.
I do delete some emails without responsing, and it is not just spam messages that get this treatment.
Certainly, in UK legislation, business email carries the same legal weight as documents on company headed paper, so they should be careful about what it says and the way it is said.
John
When I write email, I write it as if it were a business communication, with care taken over grammar, spelling and punctuation, regardless of who the recipient is.
I do delete some emails without responsing, and it is not just spam messages that get this treatment.
Certainly, in UK legislation, business email carries the same legal weight as documents on company headed paper, so they should be careful about what it says and the way it is said.
John
Stella740pl
Programmer
Work-related e-mail that I get (and cannot delete without answering) is usually reasonably appropriate, so it doesn't bug me that much. I used to get arrogant e-mails from one person, but she was a HR lady, and approval of my leave depended on her...
But keep in mind, that many people around you are not native English speakers, and it's often not lack of manners that makes their e-mails so unpleasant, but insufficient knowledge of appropriate wording. When you talk to them, it doesn't sound this way because you can see and hear them, and you just know they didn't mean any offence. But when you read their written communications, it's different.
Several years ago I often used much stronger words than it was necessary, because I either didn't know or couldn't recall more appropriate once. As a result, it often sounded harsh. I could say "must" instead of "should" or "have to", "demand" instead of "request", etc.
Sometimes, people are just making not very successful attempts to be brief, and the words they axe are those that are "unnecessary" in communicating the message: all the polite expressions.
Stella.
But keep in mind, that many people around you are not native English speakers, and it's often not lack of manners that makes their e-mails so unpleasant, but insufficient knowledge of appropriate wording. When you talk to them, it doesn't sound this way because you can see and hear them, and you just know they didn't mean any offence. But when you read their written communications, it's different.
Several years ago I often used much stronger words than it was necessary, because I either didn't know or couldn't recall more appropriate once. As a result, it often sounded harsh. I could say "must" instead of "should" or "have to", "demand" instead of "request", etc.
Sometimes, people are just making not very successful attempts to be brief, and the words they axe are those that are "unnecessary" in communicating the message: all the polite expressions.
Stella.
- Thread starter
- #4
StockcarsRus
IS-IT--Management
Stella,
I agree with you, if you were speaking with someone on the telephone, you would say "Hello", you would say "Please" and "Thank-you"... If people insist on firing off emails and not picking up the phone, why can't you give the recipient of the email the same courtesy as you would with a phone conversation? I would much rather get a phone call, than an email. We have become so dependent on email that it is really sad!
Debbie
I agree with you, if you were speaking with someone on the telephone, you would say "Hello", you would say "Please" and "Thank-you"... If people insist on firing off emails and not picking up the phone, why can't you give the recipient of the email the same courtesy as you would with a phone conversation? I would much rather get a phone call, than an email. We have become so dependent on email that it is really sad!
Debbie
I really don't see anything wrong with email. We only need to understand that medium and use it well.
This website, for instance, understands electronic limitations. It offers 'emoticons' to supplement possible literary shortcomings.
This is a brief and terse medium: there is no escaping that. Add in poor written linguistic skills, and we have our work cut out for us.
I would rather read a very short - and to the point - email, than wade through several screens of questionable literature.
Understand that the delivery mechanism (the monitor) offers low quality rendition of characters - as compared to material written on paper. This fact alone tends to cheapen electronic communications.
Dimandja
This website, for instance, understands electronic limitations. It offers 'emoticons' to supplement possible literary shortcomings.
This is a brief and terse medium: there is no escaping that. Add in poor written linguistic skills, and we have our work cut out for us.
I would rather read a very short - and to the point - email, than wade through several screens of questionable literature.
Understand that the delivery mechanism (the monitor) offers low quality rendition of characters - as compared to material written on paper. This fact alone tends to cheapen electronic communications.
Dimandja
Stella740pl
Programmer
why can't you give the recipient of the email the same courtesy as you would with a phone conversation?
Sure you can, and you definitely should. But even though no one ever said that you can be rude in e-mail, advice you can find on e-mail etiquette has been somewhat controversial. Many people believe, that e-mail is a completely different slice of culture, and it has it's own rules, and brevity is the most important of them.
I would much rather get a phone call, than an email.
It depends. E-mail is so good for documenting things. You usually wouldn't record all your phone conversations, but you can keep an e-mail, and it could come handy in many cases. And is a rude call (and those happen, too) so much better than a rude e-mail?
We have become so dependent on email that it is really sad!
Well, I personally wouldn't call it sad. For me, it's a blessing. I have many friends and relatives around the world. I don't have that much time to write real letters (and you wouldn't put a dozen words in an envelope and send it half way around the globe), and it takes so long to get a response; significant time differences make frequent phone calls somewhat problematic. I think it's great I can drop a few words to my friends and relatives every so often, sometimes few times a day, and get a quick response.
Stella
- Thread starter
- #7
StockcarsRus
IS-IT--Management
Stella, I am talking about work related email. I too communicate with my family in Canada, as I live now in the United States. (It is a blessing in that respect)
The bulk of the email that I get from the staff is very brief and does not contain enough information for me to solve the problem. I then have to email back and forth with the person, until I get the full story. I would much rather receive a phone call so that I can get all of the information that I need at once. I have a handful of people that do call, and I get their problem solved much quicker.
As far as rude email goes, I have had more rude email than phone calls in my working career. It is easier to be rude in an email than it is on the telephone.
Debbie
The bulk of the email that I get from the staff is very brief and does not contain enough information for me to solve the problem. I then have to email back and forth with the person, until I get the full story. I would much rather receive a phone call so that I can get all of the information that I need at once. I have a handful of people that do call, and I get their problem solved much quicker.
As far as rude email goes, I have had more rude email than phone calls in my working career. It is easier to be rude in an email than it is on the telephone.
Debbie
This is a universal problem with users everywhere. This has already been solved in many ways. The most popular solution to getting detailed explanations from users is to develop forms that they thoroughly fill out.
As Stella said, email will automatically document your communications in a way a phone call couldn't. Can't beat that.
Stella740pl
Programmer
Debbie,
As far as rude email goes, I have had more rude email than phone calls in my working career. It is easier to be rude in an email than it is on the telephone.
I guess, it's just easier to interpret it this way, because, as I said, you hear the tone of voice of the other party, and when you read the message, you just put your voice in their mouth.
If it's a normal e-mail that just doesn't contain "Hello"/"Please"/"Thank you", I would just let it go. I can live with that. But should I get a really offensive e-mail from a coworker, I would just forward it to my boss. Cannot do that with a call - an offender can always say you misunderstood.
As far as rude email goes, I have had more rude email than phone calls in my working career. It is easier to be rude in an email than it is on the telephone.
I guess, it's just easier to interpret it this way, because, as I said, you hear the tone of voice of the other party, and when you read the message, you just put your voice in their mouth.
If it's a normal e-mail that just doesn't contain "Hello"/"Please"/"Thank you", I would just let it go. I can live with that. But should I get a really offensive e-mail from a coworker, I would just forward it to my boss. Cannot do that with a call - an offender can always say you misunderstood.
By its very nature, e-mail allows for very terse communication. Its immediacy means that people often don't properly consider what is said - with a letter or memo, there is a chance to re-read before despatch.
Many people are not comfortable with using emoticons to temper the tone, or just assume that an ironic comment will be seen as such.
As a user of email, one should try to fit the tone to suit the recipient. For some people a terse response is fine (even appreciated), for others a more verbose one is often required.
As a recipient, I try to assume the best, if I get an apparently rude email, I ring (or, if possible visit the sender) usually, that clarifies their intention. Then I respond appropriately.
Similarly if the information is incomplete, an email does not necessarily require an email response, it's part of a communication repertoire.
I love the ability to email short messages like "lunch?" or "timesheet?" when I'm busy, without having to go through an extended conversation. And to be able to offer "oops, here it is", "yes", "not today" responses.
Of course, spelling and punctuation, are important (but minor errors are forgivable), it depends on the circumstance.
If an email is genuinely rude, you have evidence, and can take apppropriate measures, same as with paper.
Rosie
"Never express yourself more clearly than you think" (Niels Bohr)
Many people are not comfortable with using emoticons to temper the tone, or just assume that an ironic comment will be seen as such.
As a user of email, one should try to fit the tone to suit the recipient. For some people a terse response is fine (even appreciated), for others a more verbose one is often required.
As a recipient, I try to assume the best, if I get an apparently rude email, I ring (or, if possible visit the sender) usually, that clarifies their intention. Then I respond appropriately.
Similarly if the information is incomplete, an email does not necessarily require an email response, it's part of a communication repertoire.
I love the ability to email short messages like "lunch?" or "timesheet?" when I'm busy, without having to go through an extended conversation. And to be able to offer "oops, here it is", "yes", "not today" responses.
Of course, spelling and punctuation, are important (but minor errors are forgivable), it depends on the circumstance.
If an email is genuinely rude, you have evidence, and can take apppropriate measures, same as with paper.
Rosie
"Never express yourself more clearly than you think" (Niels Bohr)
Stella740pl
Programmer
Rosie,
Many people are not comfortable with using emoticons to temper the tone, or just assume that an ironic comment will be seen as such.
One should never assume that you message will be read the way you meant it, but for some reason people always do. A coworker once got in trouble by sending another coworker a [stupidly] humorous message. He took it as an offence, and showed it to his manager. The manager did get the fact that it was meant to be funny, but also found it offensive. The guy got a warning to stop sending messages like that and start thinking befor hitting the "Send" button.
I love the ability to email short messages like "lunch?" or "timesheet?" when I'm busy, without having to go through an extended conversation. And to be able to offer "oops, here it is", "yes", "not today" responses.
I envy you. I love the sound of messages this short, but was never able to write like that myself.
I take care in all my work emails to have a greeting... these are people I must work with and it's not that hard to toss in "Hi Joe" at the top to keep the tone of my emails polite and professional. Often I am asking for a person to do some work or commit effort, and things could degenerate quickly if it was perceived I was ordering anyone about, as I am a tech, not a manager or supervisor. Keeping things polite in this way seems a good default mode to operate in.
If your work environment is more laid-back and informal, then that's great! But think carefully before you assume such familiarity.
There are two more considerations I would like to mention about email etiquette:
- Given that email IS a recorded medium with legal weight, I prefer to avoid it when I am addressing a minor issue with someone for the first time. It is one thing to be approached in person and told, "Hey... did you realize that when you do X it affects me in Y way?" but that same message by email can hold ominous overtones. I dealt with this recently and it was UNpleasant.
- When sending a message to many people who do not otherwise have each other's email addresses, use Bcc, not To or Cc. How would you feel if you received an invitation to a party by postal mail and the complete address list of all recipients was included in the envelope? Especially if there were people on the list who you did not particularly wish to have your address shared with? Not to mention that if someone forwards the email, the list of people it was originally sent to can turn into a gigantic chunk of blackness in front of the real message.
E²
If your work environment is more laid-back and informal, then that's great! But think carefully before you assume such familiarity.
There are two more considerations I would like to mention about email etiquette:
- Given that email IS a recorded medium with legal weight, I prefer to avoid it when I am addressing a minor issue with someone for the first time. It is one thing to be approached in person and told, "Hey... did you realize that when you do X it affects me in Y way?" but that same message by email can hold ominous overtones. I dealt with this recently and it was UNpleasant.
- When sending a message to many people who do not otherwise have each other's email addresses, use Bcc, not To or Cc. How would you feel if you received an invitation to a party by postal mail and the complete address list of all recipients was included in the envelope? Especially if there were people on the list who you did not particularly wish to have your address shared with? Not to mention that if someone forwards the email, the list of people it was originally sent to can turn into a gigantic chunk of blackness in front of the real message.
E²
- Thread starter
- #13
StockcarsRus
IS-IT--Management
Yes... I agree E-squared and jrbarnett.
It only takes a few key strokes to say hello, or to type the person's name or a Thank-you if you are asking for something. It's like teaching your children when asking for something they should say please, and have respect for other people. I see no difference.
It only takes a few key strokes to say hello, or to type the person's name or a Thank-you if you are asking for something. It's like teaching your children when asking for something they should say please, and have respect for other people. I see no difference.
Stella
I'd only ever use severely abbreviated emails to people I know well, and who would appreciate the brevity. But they are a very efficient use of time.
Normally, I'd use a proper salutation and a proper sign off. As a general rule, I believe that correct capitalization, spelling and grammar are a basic courtesy. However, I do think that there is a generational issue here, younger people often see a more relaxed approach as acceptable.
maybe its something i have to learn to live with
Strangely, when I'm communicating with people whose first language is not English, I tend not to see the imperfections. I recently spent a year back at college, where most of my co-students didn't have English as a first language. As a result, I find that I tend to translate both verbal and email communication without really noticing it. There must be certain language constructions which trigger this process, I'm not aware of it. (<off topic> I just interviewed an arab woman for a job, a co-interviewer commented on her limited command of English - I honestly never noticed - I understood her perfectly.</off topic>)
Rosie
"Never express yourself more clearly than you think" (Niels Bohr)
I'd only ever use severely abbreviated emails to people I know well, and who would appreciate the brevity. But they are a very efficient use of time.
Normally, I'd use a proper salutation and a proper sign off. As a general rule, I believe that correct capitalization, spelling and grammar are a basic courtesy. However, I do think that there is a generational issue here, younger people often see a more relaxed approach as acceptable.
maybe its something i have to learn to live with
Strangely, when I'm communicating with people whose first language is not English, I tend not to see the imperfections. I recently spent a year back at college, where most of my co-students didn't have English as a first language. As a result, I find that I tend to translate both verbal and email communication without really noticing it. There must be certain language constructions which trigger this process, I'm not aware of it. (<off topic> I just interviewed an arab woman for a job, a co-interviewer commented on her limited command of English - I honestly never noticed - I understood her perfectly.</off topic>)
Rosie
"Never express yourself more clearly than you think" (Niels Bohr)
I have always found emotecons extremely useful in setting the tone. Words are cold and easily misinterpreted by many (most?) people.
I do however refrain from using them in official business communications, I think they just look unprofessional.
rosieb:
I read an article not too long ago along a similar vein. A person could be/was presented with a sheet of poorly-spelled text. As lnog as the frist and last leters were in the corrcet palce the txet could be read perfetly well.
Perhaps somthing of a similar nature occurs with human speech and listening to it.
I do however refrain from using them in official business communications, I think they just look unprofessional.
rosieb:
I read an article not too long ago along a similar vein. A person could be/was presented with a sheet of poorly-spelled text. As lnog as the frist and last leters were in the corrcet palce the txet could be read perfetly well.
Perhaps somthing of a similar nature occurs with human speech and listening to it.
I like email for it's brevity and I find it singularly useful in conveying info to someone whose time is short - they may get the message but respond when they have time. They can even just ignore it until they are done doing what they are doing, hours or days later.
Rosieb, I think you are right on with your comments.
Rosieb, I think you are right on with your comments.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
- Question