Dealing with a constantly interruptive co-worker 10

[Mike555]

I have a co-worker who sits in the cubicle next to me who is always interrupting me for no good reason!!!! This woman is older, in her mid-70s I'd guess, and is the office secratery. She basically does little tasks like ordering office supplies, sending faxes, etc. When she has little to do, which is quite often, she'll casually start a conversation with me from her cubicle. She also quite frequently walks over into my cubicle and just starts talking regardless of what I'm doing. On the average day I'm interrupted at least 15 times! She never talks about anything work-related....it's always about someone in her family, or the weather, or her dog, or her most recent doctor's visit, or a tv show she watched the night before.

Yesterday while at my desk replacing a hard drive, she stood at the entrance of my cubicle watching the whole process and asking questions the entire time! She loves talking to me even more when I'm on lunch. Most days I just like to eat lunch at my desk surfing the web and tek-tipping. Lately I've been going out to lunch more and more to avoid her, but I hate having to spend money going out to eat just to avoid her.

My tactfullness doesn't seem to work. When she interrupts me I try to say things like "I'm busy right now and can't talk", but she just won't stop! Here's an example of an actual conversation that happened last week:

Her: "I wanted to ask you something. I was having trouble pulling up my e-mail last night at home. What could I check to fix this?"
Me: "Well actually I'm in the middle of something right now, but how about we talk about this later when I have some free time?"
Her: "Ok no problem. I was just hoping you would be able to help me. My husband is really upset that e-mail isn't working because he needs to check if someone from ebay sent him an e-mail"
Me: "Ok I'll get back to you later."
Her: "It was giving us some strange message about a password, but we never have to enter a password."
Me: "Like I said, I'll get back to you about it."
Her: "I tell you what, my husband doesn't get upset too often, but when his e-mail doesn't work he gets heated. I just got off the phone with him and he still can't get into e-mail. The last time I saw him this upset is when a power surge ruined our PC. That was, oh, I'd say about 2 years ago. No wait, 3 years ago....I think. Let's see it was right after Christmas when our daughter was visting. It was the first time she visited our new house......

You get the idea. I've only been at the job a little less than 5 months. This woman has been with the company for 9 years, and I certainly don't want to take this issue to my boss and have him think that this 'little-old lady' is too much for me to handle.

Has anyone else had experience dealing with these types of co-workers?

--
Mike

Why make it simple and efficient when it can be complex and wonderful?

 

[jtb]

suchasynic,

Please don't take this the wrong way; but if you yelled at an old lady that way in just about any office setting, you'd probably be escorted out of the building in handcuffs.

Remember she's

older, in her mid-70s I'd guess, and is the office secratery

Yelling at people in the workplace is both a Career Limiting Move[sup]TM[/sup] and rude.

It reflects poorly on you and your family.

And some might say it suggests inner issues that may need to be resolved with professional counseling.

Both of those who critiqued your response had previously offered somewhat more even-tempered suggestions.

I'm not saying you're wrong; I'm saying someone who followed your advice would be arrested and fired...

JTB
Have Certs, Will Travel
"A knight without armour in a [cyber] land."

 

[DoubleD]

suchasynic,
My scathing response was written exactly that way to counteract your coarse suggestion.
I believe that one should treat their coworkers the same way they would treat families members, and want to be treated themselves. (This doesn't mean you run up to a coworker who did a good job and give them a bear hug.)
I also recently read your response in my "Team Building Exercises" post, so it appears you do not normally treat people with disrespect.
People can be frustrating, but we all need to work together. Calling people "dense", and minimizing what may be important to them will not help work or personal relationships.

If somebody is dense enough to not get the polite hints that they talk to much and interrupt my day over un-important and matters of a personal nature that have nothing to do with work

Pain is stress leaving the body.

DoubleD

 

[Mike555]

Just to let you all know...

I had a conversation with this person yesterday. I told her that I enjoy sitting next to her and also enjoy the fact that we can talk about anything. I told her that I can no longer talk while I'm working, as my work requires my full attention. I told her that we can talk before work, during lunch, and after work. She seemed a little shocked and didn't really say anything besides "ok" & "alright". When we left work I passed her and she didn't say anything. It seemed that she was upset with the conversation we had. But then I saw her this morning and she seems fine now. We did talk briefly and I can tell she isn't carrying a chip on her shoulder from our conversation yesterday.

Although it was temporarily uncomforatable to confront her, I got my message across and she hasn't interrupted me since.

--
Mike

Why make it simple and efficient when it can be complex and wonderful?

 

[DoubleD]

Mike555,
Kudos to you. She probably didn't realize the impact her actions were having on you. You both will be the better for this discussion. Nice job, and thanks for the followup!

Pain is stress leaving the body.

DoubleD

 

[suchasynic]

You people make me laugh!

 

[Mike555]

suchasynic,

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha

--
Mike

Why make it simple and efficient when it can be complex and wonderful?

 

[Onyxpurr]

I think suchasynic is just displaying frustration at some people's inability to address an issue head on.

I know we all have a different comfort levels when it comes to this kind of thing, but the most respectable thing to do is let people know how you feel in a neutral and respectful way. I certainly hope that anyone who finds my actions offensuve or inhibitive to their work, would feel free to address the issue with me instead of letting me run on like a moron. I hate it when people judge and act towards me based on something I'm unaware of and they're unwilling to tell me.

Kudos to you Mike555! I think it extremely professional and humane the way you resolved this issue. Don't worry about the chip, it'll fall off in a matter of days.

 

[Albion]

I have this same problem from time to time. You have to be firm in making sure that if you are going to help them with home problems on company time it must not interfer with your current duties. If they keep pushing the problem then warn them that you will not help them again unless they adhere to rule #1. After that you stop helping them and take the problem to their supervisor. I am sorry, but if someone doesn't get a blatent hint like that the first two times then someone else needs to deal with it, whether they will hate you or not.

I have no problem giving people help, although I do charge them with big issues that cannot be solved with a few words or example. For instance one of my users brougt his machine to me with some serious spyware/virus/etc... problems. I had no problem fixing it off company time and I charged him a liter of Jack Danials.

-Al

 

[shortone]

Wow, Mike555, sounds like you work for the same place I work for! I have that same problem, only I'm flanked by two older women (not quite in their 70's, but they've both been working here for 25 years or more, and are waiting for retirement). One lady will come in, and stop at EVERY occupied cube for at LEAST 20 minutes, talking to each person about whatever. I've set up my computer monitor so that my back is almost directly facing the entrance to my cube, and when I hear her coming, I'm usually already engrossed in something anyway, but I do say "Good Morning!" in a cheery voice, but don't look up from what I'm doing. Most times, she's already talked out, but some days I get "lucky". She usually starts out with "I've got to tell you..." then continues on. I make a quick mental note of what time she started and after about 2-3 minutes (providing I can actually get a word in), I tell her that I've really got to get back to what I'm doing, or attempt to end the "conversation" with a "closing statement", like "well, it's a good thing your dog is still alive, even with three and a half legs," etc., or excuse myself to go to the ladies' room. That seems to work, too - or, thankfully, either her or my phone rings.
She's a nice lady, knows a lot, is very active in the Union (which is situated right next door to our building), but just prates on and on and on.

The other one is not so easy. I could be in the middle of coding, on the phone, whatever, and all of a sudden my name will be called from her cube. And it's always an emergency. Even when I say I'll be there in a minute, five minutes, next week, she doesn't seem to hear me, and COMES TO GET ME, trying to drop the name of her director as a driving force to have me help her. It seems that to her, my work just isn't important, although I may be working on a way to simply her data entry db, which she complains about incessantly. There are also days when she'll come and SIT ON MY DESK to talk at me, about things which, when she's done, I feel like just jumping out my window (she's quite a negative nelly). There are some other deeper issues, which I won't get into, but needless to say, she's the more difficult of the two to handle. I went to the dollar store and bought headphones (basically just for show), and in the more extreme cases, when I really can't be interrupted, I wear them. Some days though, I can't escape...

I will definitely re-read some of the advice above and try it out - thanks for the great suggestions!

JayeD
"I'm sure of two things: there IS a God, and I'm NOT Him!" - R. Williams

 

[shortone]

BTW, I also sometimes print out these types of posts and leave them on my desk, with the title facing toward anyone who comes in. I've also made an "Out to Lunch" sign that I put on a chair that goes in the entrance of my cube (like a door) when I actually do take a lunch (I, too, don't go out too much, unless I need to run errands, or literally run). It works most of the time, because I have totally turned my back to the cube and enforce the fact that since I'm not paid for my lunch break, and if I were actually out during lunch I wouldn't be here, to treat my cube as if I wasn't here (so someone stole my stapler while I was sitting there - just kidding!). I only get a half-hour break during the summer anyway, so I've gotten very strict with my time. They can pick my brains the other 8 hours I'm here.

JayeD
"I'm sure of two things: there IS a God, and I'm NOT Him!" - R. Williams

 

[agmick]

As this thread has brought many ideas, you can get a few ideas from this site too--very funny and most people can relate.

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail37.html

If websites are inappropriate my apologies.

 

[Mike555]

agmick, Thanks for the laugh!
Option 4 is totally my approach!

--
Mike

Not until I executed my first DLookup function did I truly appreciate the power of the relational database.

 

[shortone]

Good JORB, Homestray! This is one of my favorite sites! "So good!"

JayeD
"I'm sure of two things: there IS a God, and I'm NOT Him!" - R. Williams

 

[Luckyfour]

I'd suggest you use the "broken record" technique. Basically you say exactly the same thing over and over. So, if it's, "I can talk to you at 1:00". Then, no matter what she says, that is your response. Keep the tone neutral (e.g like a radio announcer). This is about communication process. What you don't want is to get into is the content (responding to anything specific). The specific responses will be at 1:00. Don't reward the interruptions. Be pleasant, repetitive and deflecting. At 1:00 you can give her time to go over the specifics.

Joyce, MSW

 

[shortone]

Luckyfour,
Great advice! I'll definitely try that here (though it doesn't work with my kids!).

JayeD
"I'm sure of two things: there IS a God, and I'm NOT Him!" - R. Williams

 

[ecobb]

though it doesn't work with my kids!

Sure it does! Kids get what they want every time they try this! "Can I have some ice cream? Can I have some ice cream? Can I have some ice cream? Can I have some ice cream?"



Hope This Helps!

Ecobb

"My work is a game, a very serious game." - M.C. Escher

 

[shortone]

Yeah, but when I do it, I don't get the same results - my kids are older, so their requests usually involve the financial or automotive aspects of life. Teenagers (and older) are a persistent lot. Them: "Let's go to the mall!" Me: "We can go later on, I want to finish painting the bathroom." (10 minutes later) Them: "We're bored, let's go to the mall." Me: "After I finish painting the bathroom." (10 minutes later) Them: "Let's go to the mall!" Me: "After I finish painting the bathroom." This scene continues until 1) They take the car and go without me (provided they have $$$), or B) I finish the first coat, clean up and go with them to the mall (because I secretly wanted a break anyway!) and wind up having a great time. BTW, I've finished painting the bathroom, just have to lay the floor tiles down (I can lock the door for THAT one!).

JayeD
"I'm sure of two things: there IS a God, and I'm NOT Him!" - R. Williams

 

[jtb]

JayeD...

If they are bored, offer to let them paint... assign them work... "Is your room cleaned up?" You need to train them to take care of the house they'll live in after they're adults anyway... why not use it to silence them...

AND since I've just thought of it, why not use the same on the constantly interruptive...

Something like: "I'm glad you're here... Can you ____ for me? I'm up to my elbows and ____ wants it done by Noon (or Five or whatever)"

(Of course SQLSister thought of it first; but I'm slow on the uptake... and there's an application here)

JTB
Have Certs, Will Travel
"A knight without armour in a [cyber] land."

 

[Stella740pl]

jtb,

If they are bored, offer to let them paint...

You are right. But Tom Soyer thought of this one first.

 

[SF0751]

Actually, Tom Sawyer did not offer to let his friends whitewash his Aunt Polly's fence; he convienced his friends that the chore was, in fact, a remarkable privilage, and Tom eventually allowed his friends to participate in the great adventure.

“Oh come, now, you don’t mean to let on that you like it?”
The brush continued to move.
“Like it? Well I don’t see why I oughtn’t to like it. Does a boy get a chance to whitewash a fence every day?”
That put the thing in a new light. Ben stopped nibbling his apple. Tom swept his brush daintily back and forth—stepped back to note the effect—added a touch here and there—criticized the effect again—Ben watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more absorbed. Presently he said:
“Say, Tom, let me whitewash a little.”

- from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

I'm not sure if this approach will work with teenagers!

Susan
"People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character."
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)