Dealing with a constantly interruptive co-worker 10

[Mike555]

I have a co-worker who sits in the cubicle next to me who is always interrupting me for no good reason!!!! This woman is older, in her mid-70s I'd guess, and is the office secratery. She basically does little tasks like ordering office supplies, sending faxes, etc. When she has little to do, which is quite often, she'll casually start a conversation with me from her cubicle. She also quite frequently walks over into my cubicle and just starts talking regardless of what I'm doing. On the average day I'm interrupted at least 15 times! She never talks about anything work-related....it's always about someone in her family, or the weather, or her dog, or her most recent doctor's visit, or a tv show she watched the night before.

Yesterday while at my desk replacing a hard drive, she stood at the entrance of my cubicle watching the whole process and asking questions the entire time! She loves talking to me even more when I'm on lunch. Most days I just like to eat lunch at my desk surfing the web and tek-tipping. Lately I've been going out to lunch more and more to avoid her, but I hate having to spend money going out to eat just to avoid her.

My tactfullness doesn't seem to work. When she interrupts me I try to say things like "I'm busy right now and can't talk", but she just won't stop! Here's an example of an actual conversation that happened last week:

Her: "I wanted to ask you something. I was having trouble pulling up my e-mail last night at home. What could I check to fix this?"
Me: "Well actually I'm in the middle of something right now, but how about we talk about this later when I have some free time?"
Her: "Ok no problem. I was just hoping you would be able to help me. My husband is really upset that e-mail isn't working because he needs to check if someone from ebay sent him an e-mail"
Me: "Ok I'll get back to you later."
Her: "It was giving us some strange message about a password, but we never have to enter a password."
Me: "Like I said, I'll get back to you about it."
Her: "I tell you what, my husband doesn't get upset too often, but when his e-mail doesn't work he gets heated. I just got off the phone with him and he still can't get into e-mail. The last time I saw him this upset is when a power surge ruined our PC. That was, oh, I'd say about 2 years ago. No wait, 3 years ago....I think. Let's see it was right after Christmas when our daughter was visting. It was the first time she visited our new house......

You get the idea. I've only been at the job a little less than 5 months. This woman has been with the company for 9 years, and I certainly don't want to take this issue to my boss and have him think that this 'little-old lady' is too much for me to handle.

Has anyone else had experience dealing with these types of co-workers?

--
Mike

Why make it simple and efficient when it can be complex and wonderful?

 

[sleipnir214]

As a good general rule, I recommend that you start with tactful responses to a person. Then gradually move to less-tactful responses until you find the point at which you can use the maximum tact and still get your message across.

If your coworker is interrupting you 15 times a day, you should be able to find the correct tact-to-information ration in a day.


Also, if the dialog you quoted is typical, you are playing her game. Her win condition is to find someone with which to interact in order to keep herself from getting bored. If you continue to talk to her, even if to tell her that you are busy, she wins.

Play your own game. Tell her, as politely as you think necessary that what you are doing requires your full attention. Then simply ignore her from that point on.


Want the best answers? Ask the best questions!

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[sleipnir214]

Corretion: "tact-to-information ration" should have read "tact-to-information ratio"



Want the best answers? Ask the best questions!

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[ecobb]

Find another cubicle, preferably on the other end of the building.



Hope This Helps!

Ecobb

"My work is a game, a very serious game." - M.C. Escher

 

[GMcNamara]

I would wear headphones, even if you don't actually play music. Whenever she wants to interrupt, go through a long process of turning off the music, removing the headphones, etc. Hopefully, she will think twice about interrupting if she sees the trouble she is causing.

 

[hilfy]

Headphones, like GMcNamara said, are a great tool for this. If you have them on, it makes it much easier to ignore her if she's just talking from the cube next to you - you have them on and can at least plausibly pretend not to hear her even if you can hear.

-Dell

 

[chiph]

{sticks fingers in ears} na na na na I am not listening to you



It will ultimately require being rude to them. They will be offended, and you'll have a bad reputation with them afterwards. It depends on how much you need them in order to get your work done vs. having them badmouth you to the rest of the company.

Chip H.

____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first

 

[DoubleD]

Next time she stops by, tell her how nice she looks and ask her out on a date! hehehe J/K

Try a direct but honest approach. "Mary, I'd really like to talk with you, but I'm in the middle of something that requires my full attention right now. If you'd like, we could discuss this over lunch at X time."

[sheepishly]Another option would be to start making strange noises while she's in your cube. She might think you're weird enough that she doesn't want to be near you.[/sheepishly]

Pain is stress leaving the body.

DoubleD

 

[philote]

I say just ignore her after telling her once that you're busy. Especially if it's a personal issue she's talking about. Tell her the first time that you're busy with work and that you don't have time to spend on non-work related issues. After that, just ignore her by acting so engrossed with what you're doing that you either don't hear her or that responding would completely ruin your concentration. I don't think you need to use headphones as an excuse to ignore her, and I think it's a more powerful message without them anyway.

As for the lunch thing, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have the money to spend to go out to lunch every day and also spend most of my lunches at my desk. I hate getting interrupted at lunch but expect it to happen occasionally if I stay at work. Maybe lunch would be the more appropriate time to don the headphones. Or, is there another place in your building to have lunch and still be able to do what you enjoy during this time?

 

[jtb]

older people get lonely. lots (most?) of their friends are dead. it doesn't hurt to remember that...

I understand the frustration of the interruptions... but don't forget how often computer people are called names for having no social skills... here is a chance to work on them...

And maybe save the old lady's life. People die from lonliness after a certain age...

Not trying to make you feel guilty; but you're in that situation for a reason... maybe a Providential reason...

JTB
Have Certs, Will Travel
"A knight without armour in a [cyber] land."

 

[SQLSister]

YOu've tried being polite. That didn't work. at this stage I can see four options:
1. Be rude (I personally wouldn't take this one because you become the bad guy.)
2. Do as someone else suggested and tell her you are busy and then refuse to answer again becasue you are clearly deeply concentrating.
3. Talk to the supervisor and have him handle the issue. That is what he gets paid for. I would suggest to him that the lady clearly doesn't have enough work to do.
4. Create some tasks to assign to her and every time she interrupts you, say, "I'm glad you are here, I need you to..." and them give her a task to do. Pretty soon, she'll bother someone else who doesn't give her tasks to do.

Questions about posting. See faq183-874

 

[GMcNamara]

No! Be nice to old people after work.

 

[DoubleD]

Create some tasks to assign to her and every time she interrupts you, say, "I'm glad you are here, I need you to..." and them give her a task to do. Pretty soon, she'll bother someone else who doesn't give her tasks to do.

Star for SQLSister on this one. This is a Win/Win solution. If she continues to come to you, you give her more work and she is more productive, plus she has less time to interrupt you. If she stops coming to you because you give her work, you're more productive.

Pain is stress leaving the body.

DoubleD

 

[Onyxpurr]

I have a lot of these people in my life. Usually, I try to explain that I'm really busy, but I can meet with them at such-and-such a time. Then follow up with, "well see you at 1, I have to get back to this now." and turn around.

If I keep "scheduling" these people and explain everytime they interrupt, that I can speak to them at our next mtg, they usually get the hint.

For the really intensive interruptors, I have recurring appts. Then for the meeting I reserve about ten minutes for cordialities and the rest for work.

Just an alternative, but I think SQLSister's is great too!!

 

[entaroadun]

You want to be REALLY careful with this one...

More often than not, management will put little old ladies like this one out to pasture. My sense is that she is waiting to retire, and that management will be willing to tolerate minor annoyances to avoid the unpleasantness of firing, laying off, or otherwise reprimanding the little old lady.

If this is the case, you want to tread carefully.

First of all, managers who do this have little or no guts, at least when it comes to firing grandmothers. It's a sign of the corporate culture. You will be expected to bend over backwards to accomodate the little old lady, or people will think you're a monster.

I wish I were kidding, but I'm not. Many managers get weak in the knees for lame ducks, and they expect others to act with the same level of polite conflict-avoidance that they do.

Stronger managers know how to effectively shelve such individuals. Typically, they're also jerks. You take the good with the bad.

If you do speak to your boss, you need to frame it right. You can't come off looking heartless.

The tactic I used to use when I did desk support was feign injury. Start by acting nice, conversing while you work. Then "slip" and "hurt" yourself. Make it a very minor thing that doesn't require any attention, but make it clear that you can't be distracted or you will hurt yourself again.

Is it dishonest? Yes. But it will get you off scot-free.

 

[entaroadun]

BTW, if she is really itching for social interaction (talking with you instead of talking at you), then giving her assignments will only strengthen your bond. She gets to feel helpful as well as feel listened to.

It depends on her personality, and it may backfire.

 

[KenCunningham]

Star for jtb's humanity; we've all got Mums, Dads and other relations who might just be in the same position. How often do we even bother to ask? I like the idea of giving the lady tasks and even better the thought that she might even appreciate being thought useful rather than a burden. Good luck.

 

[Onyxpurr]

Funny...everyone seems to think it's because of the age...

I've known a lot of people like this, young and old, male and female, etc...

This really has nothing to do with age.

If she's a nice person, which it sounds like she is, you could try being straight forward with her. It may be uncomfortable for you both initially, but in the long run she'll appreciate that you were honest with her. Just say something like, "I would like to ask you a favor. When you need something done please email me or leave a voice mail message instead of walking over. My work requires a lot of focus and interruptions make it very difficult to get things accomplished on time. When I'm available I'll get right back to you, but if you could do this, it would greatly help me. Thank you.

 

[Mike555]

Thanks for all the great responses. At this point I'm going to try GMcNamara's headphone method. This method seems to be the least confrontational.

--
Mike

Why make it simple and efficient when it can be complex and wonderful?

 

[willir]

Mike555

Tough issue. You got to feel for a person who has seen so much but feels more and more alienated. and you got to get your work done.

I guess one thing is that she will not be a round forever - and may retire sometime, sooner than later.

Before doing anything drastic, ask your co-workers. Understand her history, maybe they know when she will retire. And ask them for advice.

I much prefer to remain professional and stay as polite as possible. I had a colleague-interruptus syndrome - the person would spend half their time complaining they had so much work (I wanted to scream - well get to work!!). My solution was to...
- Find another (quieter) area for hardware or trouble shooting. Physically avoiding the person is the easiest.

- Redirect. Ask her to help you. For example, you need to research something, and you are so busy, perhaps she can do the research for you. Make it meaningful, simple -- who knows, maybe she might get soemthing interesting for you.

- Last resort, talk to management.

Good luck.