Ok, given the code you already have, the following is the sort of thing you need to do:
[tt]
' In this example I am simply getting an icon handle from one of the images in
' an ImageList control. Your icon handle may come from somewhere else, eg a form's icon
' (as it does in your posted code for the form's resize event)
With nid
.hIcon = ImageList1.ListImages(1).ExtractIcon.Handle
End With
Shell_NotifyIcon NIM_MODIFY, nid