Business Titles

[SamBones]

Ok, this is a new one on me. An email just went out at work with an Organizational Announcement. In it was mentioned several people with titles I've never seen before. "Senior Delivery Head". This is apparently a high level position. I've never heard the title before. The mental image I get is either a very large bobble-head, or one of those Mardi Gras costumes with the giant head.

Anyone else heard of this? Do you have anything stranger in your work?

Maybe it's a variation on "The Big Cheese".

 

[Olaf Doschke]

From time to time there are articles about ridiculous (though real) job titles, this is from one of them:

Vision Clearance Engineer - Window Cleaner
Waste Removal Engineer - Sanitation worker
Non Profit Manager - Volunteer
Listbroker - someone collecting and trading adresses
Mystery Fair Visitor - Someone testing the kindness of fair hostesses
Facility Manager - Janitor
Domestic Engineer - Housewife
Knowledge Navigator - Teacher
Fluelogist - Chimney Sweeper
Head of Verbal Communications - Mick Jagger... well, no, Secretary - your mentioning of mardi grass heads just let me thing of the biggest mouth spitting image head of Mick Jagger.
Petroleum Tranfer Engineer - Petrol Attendant (here the german "normal" business title would translate literally as "fueling warden")
Cash Relation Officer - Banker
Environment Improvement Technician - Cleaner
Revenue Protection Officer - Ticket Inspector
Technical Horticultural Maintenece Officer - Gardener
Space Consultant - No, not an astronaut, it's a Realtor
Media Distribution Officer - Paperboy
Stock Replanishment Advisor - Stock Clerk
Crockery Cleansing Operative - Dishwasher


Unrelated to this list of actual job titles the german news magazine Spiegel made a job title generator here:

http://www.spiegel.de/karriere/game...n-fuer-angeber-und-aufschneider-a-771682.html

Scroll down to the "Jobtitel Bandit" and pull the lever.

The final truth about these job titles is it boils down to either being Chief Executive Officer or Scapegoat.

Bye, Olaf.

 

[Olaf Doschke]

Rereading what I wrote down, perhaps I should aim for a new job as Mystery Fairy Visitor - Quality Assurance of Wish Fulfillment.

Bye, Olaf.

 

[2ffat]

I worked my way through college as a Facility Worker and not a Facility Manager. They wouldn't let undergrads manage anything.



James P. Cottingham
I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229!

 

[IPGuru]

I have always held the opinion that the more sophisticated the job title sounds the less important the actual role.

Probably explains why the man at the top is called simply "CEO" whereas the people who man the tills are now called "Sales Associates" rather that the traditional "Shop Assistant".




Do things on the cheap & it will cost you dear

 

[flapeyre]

I may be old-fashioned, but I think that "engineer" is overused in job titles, and should only be used when the employee has an engineering degree, or operates a railway locomotive.

I also think that baseball caps should only be worn with the bill in front, unless you are that catcher on a baseball team, and are playing defense.

-- Francis
Francisus ego, sed non sum papa.

 

[MasterRacker]

If I ever get to self-employ I'm going to call myself Cognitive Implementation Coordinator. Think of stuff then do it.

Jeff
[small]"The software I buy sucks, The software I write sucks. It's time to give up and have a beer..." - Me

http://RusticPhoto.org

[/small]

 

[randy700]

In the Naval Shipyard, I once encountered a PROTECTIVE COATING ENGINEER.
He was a painter.


Randy

 

[Jomama46]

I also think that baseball caps should only be worn with the bill in front, unless you are that catcher on a baseball team, and are playing defense.

IMHO, wearing a baseball hat backwards lowers the wearers apparent IQ by 30 points!

Jomama

 

[flapeyre]

Like this guy?

-- Francis
Francisus ego, sed non sum papa.

 

[djj55]

Or he wanted to shade his neck.

djj
The Lord is my shepherd (Psalm 23) - I need someone to lead me!

 

[ChrisHirst]

Or he wanted to shade his neck.

Obviously he does want it to be TOO red.

Chris.

Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
Time flies like an arrow, however, fruit flies like a banana.
Webmaster Forum

 

[Cretin]

Titles are no more than words weak people hide behind.

Cretin

 

[kwbMitel]

Titles are no more than words weak people hide behind.

Says a user with the handle of Cretin.

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What's most important is that you realise ... There is no spoon.