Application Specifications - What do you get from clients? 9

[1DMF]

I thought I would share the latest application specification I received from my boss, as I'm sure you could do with a good laugh.

Yup, he took a photo with his mobile of a wipe board he designed the application on with the office manager and sent it to me via email as the specicication for a new application they wanted building.

So what specifications do you get from you boss or client?

"In complete darkness we are all the same, only our knowledge and wisdom separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you."

"If a shortcut was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be a shortcut, it would be the way!"

Free Electronic Dance Music Downloads

 

[ChrisHirst]

If they are capable of analysing what you provided is what they asked for, why didn't they ask for what they wanted?

Usually because they don't actually know what they want until you give them what they asked for, then they realise that is not what they wanted in the first place.
Then of course, when you have figured out what they meant to ask for, they realise that there was some "things" that they forgot to mention earlier that it ABSOLUTELY must be able to do.

We was asked by one client to look at developing and building a monitoring, event tracking and secondary safety system for a steel track rollercoaster. The brief was, "We just shipped a ride from Japan and need a few more sensors fitting and something to stop the following cars", UK safety regs would let it run with two cars, one tracked (out on the rails) and one loading but it was designed to run with three, one tracked, one on the run in and one loading.

Simple enough, we thought, as we had done a couple of ride controllers before, that was until we found out it that the coaster in question was "Knightmare" at Camelot.
All 2600 feet of track and 80ft gravity drop of it. But we got to ride it a few times and walk the track while "serveying" :-D

Chris.

Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
Time flies like an arrow, however, fruit flies like a banana.
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[ChrisHirst]

We "was" ?????

I really should make more use of the "Review post" button.

Chris.

Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
Time flies like an arrow, however, fruit flies like a banana.
Webmaster Forum

 

[1DMF]

was / were , if that was the only thing wrong with a specification request, we would all be laughing!

"In complete darkness we are all the same, only our knowledge and wisdom separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you."

"If a shortcut was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be a shortcut, it would be the way!"

Free Electronic Dance Music Downloads

 

[tcsbiz]

I think the problem with users not telling us what they truly want or need is that they don't know how. We speak and think differently than the users do. We are technical and they are not. It is our job to know the difference and ferret out what they really need.

I have received specifications in photos, on napkins, envelopes, and even someone's hand and arm. We joked that he had to give us his right arm for the project. It can hilarious and frustrating.

I keep trying to do something about my procrastination but I keep putting it off until tomorrow.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Most often, user specifications come (at best) in the form of how the users imagine the application will look, versus what information they need to store. From a high-quality data model, Rapid-Application-Development software can often build a working copy of the application.

IMHO, a good data modeling professional is worth 10,000 good application specifications.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

 

[Qik3Coder]

Once I followed a written spec to the T. I knew I would have to redo the whole thing, which I did, but I wanted to make a point that they should read what the Business Analysts wrote down.

It was probably the worst point in our entire working relationship. They kept saying that wasn't what they meant, and I kept pointing to the spec where the screen function EXACTY as written.

From that point on I put on my user hat whenever I design anything. The spec is more a general guideline of what data to collect.

Lodlaiden

You've got questions and source code. We want both!

 

[gbaughma]

See, this is why I try to start with the end user.

I will sit there with the person who is going to be using the software, and draw what the screen will look like... and what the output / results will look like.

That gets them vested, very few re-designs or reworks.


Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[Qik3Coder]

gbaughma,
Exactly. My sample was for an outward facing website. I knew it wouldn't make it through QA. For any internal dev, i have a very similar motto as yours.

You've got questions and source code. We want both!

 

[1DMF]

gbaughma, I usually find that works best also.

Get the user involved, make them feel the software is for them, that it's about helping them, and that it will work the way they want it to.

You get far more enthusiasm and better communication between you and the end user and it's usually far mor productive with less 'back to the drawing board' moments!

The problem lies when the boss sends you photos as above for a new applicaiton they just dreamt up and they haven't even employed the person that is going to using the software!

We went live with the new app yesterday and apart fom the usual 'oops' stupid mistakes (forgot to link a table - lol) and a date format issue (dd/mm/yyyy instead of yyyy/mm/dd), it seems to be working as intended.

Even though the one they got using it wasn't involved in the development nor were they meant to be!

"In complete darkness we are all the same, only our knowledge and wisdom separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you."

"If a shortcut was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be a shortcut, it would be the way!"

Free Electronic Dance Music Downloads

 

[philhege]

ChrisHirst, here's what I believe is the original of the
Tire Swing Story.

-------++NO CARRIER++-------

 

[1DMF]

I've seen that too, you could be right that that's the original!

"In complete darkness we are all the same, only our knowledge and wisdom separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you."

"If a shortcut was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be a shortcut, it would be the way!"

Free Electronic Dance Music Downloads

 

[SamBones]

I just got this same kind of white board spec this last Friday. The only difference is that it had been written a couple weeks ago and since then, people have been writing other notes and diagrams around and within the "spec". I would post it, but I don't want to leak any proprietary scribbles.

 

[1DMF]

, as you can see from mine, it's so illegible , there was nothing requiring obfuscation!

I found another hillarious post while hunting for a discount coupon for DbSchema

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/The-Query-of-Despair.aspx

"In complete darkness we are all the same, it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you."

"If a shortcut was meant to be easy, it wouldn't be a shortcut, it would be the way!"

Free Electronic Dance Music Download

 

[SamBones]

Sweet Jeebus, I've got one of those. Fortunately it's been retired. I kept a copy as a specimen of how NOT to solve this problem. It's a single SQL query, but it is 1,556 lines long.

INSERT INTO FBC_RPT
SELECT 	
DECODE(DIST,'AT','AT','AN','AT','LA','LA','NC','NC','NV','NC','SD','SD','IV','SD') MARKET,
	CYDATE,
	BILL_CYCLE,
	DECODE(RMR_IND,'H','HOME AIRTIME','C','PASS THROUGH ROAMING','R','SWITCH ROAMING','F','SWITCH ROAMING') CALL_CATEGORY,
	'01) NUMBER OF ACCOUNTS' HEADING_NAME,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER1,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER2,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER3,
	SUM(DECODE(ATYPE,'RE',ACCT_CNT,0)) RE_TOTAL,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER1,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER2,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER3,
	SUM(DECODE(ATYPE,'WH',ACCT_CNT,0)) WH_TOTAL,
	'HM' SUM_TYPE,
	'  ' SUM_LEVEL 
FROM 	FBC1
WHERE	RMR_IND = 'H' 
AND	CYDATE = '&&2'
GROUP BY 
DECODE(DIST,'AT','AT','AN','AT','LA','LA','NC','NC','NV','NC','SD','SD','IV','SD'),
	CYDATE,
	BILL_CYCLE,
	DECODE(RMR_IND,'H','HOME AIRTIME','C','PASS THROUGH ROAMING','R','SWITCH ROAMING','F','SWITCH ROAMING')
UNION
SELECT 	
DECODE(DIST,'AT','AT','AN','AT','LA','LA','NC','NC','NV','NC','SD','SD','IV','SD') MARKET,
	CYDATE,
	BILL_CYCLE,
	DECODE(RMR_IND,'H','HOME AIRTIME','C','PASS THROUGH ROAMING','R','SWITCH ROAMING','F','SWITCH ROAMING') CALL_CATEGORY,
	'02) NUMBER OF PHONES' HEADING_NAME,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER1,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER2,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER3,
	SUM(DECODE(ATYPE,'RE',SVC_CNT,0)) RE_TOTAL,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER1,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER2,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER3,
	SUM(DECODE(ATYPE,'WH',SVC_CNT,0)) WH_TOTAL,
	'HM' SUM_TYPE,
	'  ' SUM_LEVEL 
FROM 	FBC1 
WHERE	RMR_IND = 'H' 
AND	CYDATE = '&&2'
GROUP BY 
DECODE(DIST,'AT','AT','AN','AT','LA','LA','NC','NC','NV','NC','SD','SD','IV','SD'),
	CYDATE,
	BILL_CYCLE,
	DECODE(RMR_IND,'H','HOME AIRTIME','C','PASS THROUGH ROAMING','R','SWITCH ROAMING','F','SWITCH ROAMING')
UNION
SELECT 	
DECODE(DIST,'AT','AT','AN','AT','LA','LA','NC','NC','NV','NC','SD','SD','IV','SD') MARKET,
	CYDATE,
	BILL_CYCLE,
	DECODE(RMR_IND,'H','HOME AIRTIME','C','PASS THROUGH ROAMING','R','SWITCH ROAMING','F','SWITCH ROAMING') CALL_CATEGORY,
	'03) UNBUNDLED RECORDS' HEADING_NAME,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER1,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER2,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) RE_TIER3,
	SUM(DECODE(ATYPE,'RE',REC_CNT,0)) RE_TOTAL,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER1,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER2,
	SUBSTR('N/A',1,3) WH_TIER3,
	SUM(DECODE(ATYPE,'WH',REC_CNT,0)) WH_TOTAL,
	'HM' SUM_TYPE,
	'S1' SUM_LEVEL 
FROM 	FBC1 
WHERE	RMR_IND = 'H' 
AND	CYDATE = '&&2'
AND	BUNDLE_IND = 'UNBUNDLED'
GROUP BY 

...<snip>...

and so forth for 1,556 lines!!!

I think it was replaced with three reference tables, and about 20 lines of SQL with a clever join.

 

[philhege]

I once inherited a query from a contract developer. It was supposed to be an employee list joined up with some demographic and payroll information.

It returned 3.6 million lines. I didn't know we had grown that much ;^)

-------++NO CARRIER++-------

 

[flyboytim]

As a research technician, I received the following brief from one of my research directors:

"Here's the draft of a Patent we have applied for. Would you perform the experiments so that we can supply the figures to anyone who enquires about it."

A few years later and a different professor in a different college asked

"Are you sure about these results? They contradict the figures I submitted to (name of well respected journal) last month."

 

[ChrisHirst]

It returned 3.6 million lines. I didn't know we had grown that much ;^)

I bet that would have tied a line printer up for a while!

Chris.

Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
Time flies like an arrow, however, fruit flies like a banana.
Webmaster Forum