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stormbind

stormbind

Technical User
Mar 6, 2003
1,165
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Masters of impression,

Have ever known someone who was so shy it upset you? What did you do about it?

--Glen :)

Memoria mihi benigna erit qui eam perscribam
 
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Yes. I adopted her as my little sister and I continue to work with her all the time to become more aggressive in her dealings with others.

I am also hoping to begin helping her make her hobby of art and interior decoration into a profitable hobby so that she will learn how to better interact with others on a level to which she can more easily relate. People are not her first priority but it does not mean she cannot function with others...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."
- Winston Churchill
 
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Shyness as a function of Nature versus Nurture is an interesting parallel discussion to this one (IMHO). We gave birth to six children (ages six and under at the time; now ages 25-31). One child (in the middle) was painfully shy to the extent that if anyone looked at her in some "triggering" way, she could run and hide behind her mum or dad. She had a hard time participating in any public-performance venue throughout her youth. This in comparison to her five siblings that are amongst the most gregarious of any group I know...and each brought up with the same principles and values.

Throughout her youth and adolescence, we continued to give her opportunities to identify her strengths and areas of interest. She became the Vice-President of her high school class and now, our "Shy Child" is amongst the most poised, confident, and capable women I know...What can I say?

An interesting side light is that "Now-Confident Shy Child" has given birth to three children: The eldest...painfully shy since birth; the following two...extremely gregarious. All brought up with the same values and opportunities for development.

[santa]Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[ Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.
 
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==> We gave birth to six children (ages six and under at the time; ...

Now, exactly what time would that be?

Can anyone say "dangling modifier"? :)

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<aside>
Don't ever go out in a roofless boat,
Or the people in your ship'll
be attacked by the scourge of the dismal swamp,
the Dangling Participle.
</aside>



Want the best answers? Ask the best questions! TANSTAAFL!
 
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SantaMufasa said:
I can't believe I let my modifier dangle.
Click to expand...
I can't believe I *saw* your modifier dangling.... [upsidedown]

stormbind,

->Have ever known someone who was so shy it upset you?
Yes. A couple of different folks, actually.

->What did you do about it?
I beat the living crap out of them.

Just kidding!

It is very frustrating, because this isn't something anyone else can 'fix'. I think that all you can do is try to help the person see that they have strengths and talents. They really need to become comfortable in their own skin before they will come out of their shell. (I hope no one is keeping count of my metaphors and clichés in this post....)

This question comes at a funny time, actually. I just heard from someone for the first time in about 10 years. When I first met her, she was painfully shy.

So I've actually been thinking about this quite a bit recently. Here's what happened with her, including my attempts to help her become more confident.

I used to instruct a high school drum line. One of the most talented players was a girl who was only a sophomore. Let me just point out here that any girl who enters the "man's world" of drumming is automatically in for a rough ride. But this girl was definitely one of the top players on the line - except for her confidence.

Because she was so talented, I wound up naming her co-captain. That came much to her dismay because, being so shy, she didn't want that kind of recognition or attention. Neither did it go over very well with the other co-captain, a male upperclassman who had assumed the title was his.

Over the year I pushed her to take a stronger role.

I had her help other players learn their parts. This served two purposes: It made her aware that she could learn the music much faster than her peers; It also helped her earn the respect of other players who couldn't deny her talent.

I made her call out commands during drum practices and on the field, in front of the entire band. (Man, she hated that.)

It took a while, but by the time her co-captain was demoted by the band director for being an idiotic teenage boy (I can't remember exactly what he did, but I do remember that the band director wanted to kick him out of the band entirely and fail him for the year - I had to fight for him to be allowed to stay in the band at all), she was ready to step up and be the lone-captain.

The drum line went on to win multiple trophies at competitions. She wound up embracing her inner-drummer and went to Governors school for percussion her junior year.

As I said, I just heard from her for the first time in many years. She found my email address somewhere and contacted me. She is currently an academic advisor and faculty member for the Honors Program at a university and is active in local political campaigns.

It is incredibly rewarding to feel like I had something to do with her turning out how she did. (I can almost see why people put up with the crappy pay to be teachers.) But, as I said before, she did the real work and brought about those changes in herself.

You can only help guide this person, Glen.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.
 
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John,

Cool beans. You did super good job by that lucky young lady.

I don't remember the exact moment when I lost my fear of public speaking, only that someone suggested I address the crowd as I might address a solitary person. That notion made all the difference.

Tim

[blue]______________________________________________________________
I love logging onto Tek-Tips. It's always so exciting to see what the hell I
said yesterday. [/blue]
 
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Yes, John, I totally concur with Tim that you were instrumental in changing a life for the better. They may forget what you say, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. Have a Purple Star for the inspiring story. (And may Funders of Education worldwide recognise, via their investments, the Importance of Educators.)

[santa]Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[ Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.
 
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[blush] Thanks guys.

SantaMufasa said:
And may Funders of Education worldwide recognise, via their investments, the Importance of Educators.
Click to expand...
[!]Here here![/!]

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.
 
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I thought it was "Hear, hear!" ?

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"
 
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Dang. I was hoping no one would notice that. I realized what I had done about 3 seconds after pressing 'submit'.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.
 
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SantaMufasa said:
I can't believe I let my modifier dangle.
Click to expand...

Is that how come you wound up with six children ???? [ponder]

<Do I need A Signature or will an X do?>
 
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Well, As far as I know (and I very well could be wrong), the 'hear' in the phrase is used to mean 'listen, and the phrase means something along the lines of, "Right on! Hey, everyone, listen to this guy".

Sooooooooo, since Santa didn't say anything, but rather typed it and posted it to a forum, perhaps it is appropriate to change 'hear' to 'here'....

No?

Oh well, it was worth a shot.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.
 
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Hi,
SantaMufasa said:
I can't believe I let my modifier dangle.
Click to expand...

At least you didn't dangle your participle..
That is something up with which I will not put....[smile]


[profile]

To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."
 
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Grrr,

dang them party simples...

Tim [smilies]

BTW,

I think it's "Heir, Heir," an expression oft used by breathless beneficiaries (as opposed to benefictionairies, whom you likely just made up!)

Tim and tim again...

[blue]______________________________________________________________
I love logging onto Tek-Tips. It's always so exciting to see what the hell I
said yesterday. [/blue]
 
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