Unaccustomed as I am... 1

[hjgoldstein]

I heard the speech made by Dick Van Dyke when he was presenting a lifetime achievement or some similar award to Mary Tyler Moore at the SAG awards a few weeks ago and wondered if it was the best opening line of a speech I had ever heard.

He said "Hi. I'm what's left of Dick Van Dyke..."

Do you know any other opening (or closing) lines from speeches which amused/impressed you?

It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.

 

[rasETL]

This was not a speech, but I remember seeing a commercial where a person was meeting with potential clients.

He started the presentation with... "Good Morning. But I digress.

 

[SantaMufasa]

One of my favorites was when the unflappable David Niven was hosting the 1974 Academy Awards, and a streaker ran across the stage of the live broadcast. Niven's immediate, dead-on response was:

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that was almost bound to happen. But isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

 

[gbaughma]

Yep... I miss the days of live broadcasts.


Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[JCreamerII]

Dave,

Groucho & Carson were the best at the one liners, PARR & Steve Allen were great as well. The only ones I can remember I can't repeat.

Jim C.

 

[BadBigBen]

A good speech, like a woman's skirt, should be long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. I have been asked to give my address in the remaining five minutes. That I can do! Here it is: 10 Carlton Gardens, London, England.

and I loved this one:

On how to become a good speaker: Practice all the time. One of the best ways is to put a bunch of marbles in your mouth while you talk. Slowly but surely you take away a marble. And then, when you've lost all your marbles, you're a public speaker.

Ben
"If it works don't fix it! If it doesn't use a sledgehammer..."
How to ask a question, when posting them to a professional forum.
Only ask questions with yes/no answers if you want "yes" or "no"

 

[karluk]

Does complete silence count as a "speech"? I first read the following anecdote about the mathemetician Frank Nelson Cole as a teenager, and it greatly influenced my choice of studies in college.

In 1903 Cole famously made a presentation to a meeting of the American Mathematical Society where he identified the factors of the Mersenne number 2^67-1, or M67. Édouard Lucas had demonstrated in 1876 that M67 must have factors (i.e., is not prime), however he was unable to determine what those factors were. During Cole's so-called "lecture", he approached the chalkboard and in complete silence proceeded to calculate the value of M67, with the result being 147,573,952,589,676,412,927. Cole then moved to the other side of the board and wrote 193,707,721 × 761,838,257,287, and worked through the tedious calculations by hand. Upon completing the multiplication and demonstrating that the result equalled M67, Cole returned to his seat, not having uttered a word during the hour-long presentation. His audience greeted the presentation with a standing ovation. Cole later admitted that finding the factors had taken "three years of Sundays".