The X-Second Rule 1

[ESquared]

In a crowd yesterday, I overheard someone say something about "the three minute rule" but I have no idea what it was referring to.

I do know of the following rule, though:

The ten second rule
When you drop food on the floor, if it has been there for less than ten seconds, you may pick it up and eat it. After that, of course, the food is contaminated and is only fit for dogs or the trash.

I invite in this thread for people to suggest clever and amusing rules in the following form:

The (number) (unit of time) rule
Definition.

For example, the two week rule, the nineteen month rule, the five year rule. Perhaps even reverse the order as in the year two rule.

Remember that we are aiming for witty. Please keep your contributions clean.

[COLOR=#aa88aa black]Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.[/color]

 

[snuv]

We had the two-second rule in my parents' house.

If you were out of your chair for more than two seconds, you forfeited your right to the chair and someone else could use it. It was about long enough to retrieve something close (dropped pen etc) but not to go and make a cuppa.

"If it could have gone wrong earlier and it didn't, it ultimately would have been beneficial for it to have." : Murphy's Ultimate Corollary

 

[Rofeu]

How about:

The 28 Year Rule Roel
C'est moi

Cheers,

Roel

 

[thekl0wn]

The five-minute rule:
You have to wait five minutes for a professor to show up for class before you leave without penalty on attendance, unless the professor is a doctor, in which case it is the 10-minute rule. No actual rule existed, but it was enforced quite often.

 

[Olaf Doschke]

For an ideal cooked breakfast egg, you need to follow the 4-minute-rule. If you break the egg into a little glass or espresso cup and put it in the microwave, you must use the 15-seconds-rule instead.

But cooked in the eggshell it does taste much better...

Bye, Olaf.

 

[Remou]

The 1 minute rule (parents rule)

"If you are not down here in 1 minute, I'll ..."
"I'll give you 1 minute to ..."
"If you haven't ... in 1 minute ..."

And so on.

 

[SantaMufasa]

My sister's "1-Minute-Stop-Light Rule": "If I am behind a red light for more than 60 seconds, and the lights haven't changed for anyone during that time, then the lights are broken, and I'm going anyway (when no other cars are coming, of course)."

NYC Shoppers' "2-Minute Rule": "If the line to check out of a store is longer than 2 minutes, then they must not want my money bad enough to take it, so I'm outta here (with the product)."

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[rjoubert]

NYC Shoppers' "2-Minute Rule": "If the line to check out of a store is longer than 2 minutes, then they must not want my money bad enough to take it, so I'm outta here (with the product)."

I think the cops might have their own rule regarding that one...I think they call it their "4-7 year rule.

 

[Olaf Doschke]

the one-minute-rule:

How long one minute is depends on which side of a toilet door you are.

Bye, Olaf.

 

[SantaMufasa]

I think the cops might have their own rule regarding that one...I think they call it their "4-7 year rule."

All of these "X-Second Rules" have (possibly negative) consequences when you follow them.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[MCuthill]

~The 80 Year Rule~

Age + Years Service = 80 to be eligible for retirement.
[small](fine print: you must also be (at least) 50 years old)[/small]
​

Mike
______________________________________________________________
"It Seems All My Problems Exist Between Keyboard and Chair"

 

[mrdenny]

The 5 minute rule.

If the person (shmuck) that called the very important business meeting doesn't show up in the first 5 minutes meeting is cancled.

The 2 minute rule.
If the person (major shmuck) that called the lunch meeting without providing food doesn't show up in the first 2 minutes the meeting is cancled. If food is to be provided the rule is extended until 2 minutes after the food arrives.

Denny
MCSA (2003) / MCDBA (SQL 2000)
MCTS (SQL 2005 / Microsoft Windows SharePoint Services 3.0: Configuration / Microsoft Office SharePoint Server 2007: Configuration)
MCITP Database Administrator (SQL 2005) / Database Developer (SQL 2005)

--Anything is possible. All it takes is a little research. (Me)

http://www.mrdenny.com

 

[ESquared]

Roel,

I loved your rule.

And not necessarily humorous but I think interesting:

The thirty minute rule
At my work (a hospital), if you are more than 30 minutes late, you may as well not show up for work at all, because it will go down as an unscheduled absence. I think this rule is based on the fact that there are sick and dying patients waiting for care by nurses who absolutely need to be there.

Actual enforcement of this rule in other departments of the hospital is up to individual supervisors and managers.

[COLOR=#aa88aa black]Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.[/color]

 

[flapeyre]

[c]The Two-Second Rule:[/c]

How long it takes my cats to show up in the kitchen whenever they hear the sound of a pop-top can being opened .

Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas.

 

[ESquared]

flapeyre,

May I propose that your rule be named

The Second Second Rule:
The second during which the cats arrive in the kitchen, counting from the moment the pop-top can emits its sound.

[COLOR=#aa88aa black]Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.[/color]

 

[LNBruno]

I have a "Third Second Rule."

My third said, "I don't want to hear anything about your second!"

< M!ke >
I am not a hamster and life is not a wheel.

 

[Olaf Doschke]

second rules:

First rule: The boss is always right. Second rule: If the boss isn't right the first rule is applied.

There is no second chance to make a first impression.

Bye, Olaf.

 

[Stella740pl]

SantaMufasa,

Re: NYC Shoppers' "2-Minute Rule"
I didn't know you watch so many sitcoms...

 

[jrbarnett]

Here's one I use in programming, and try to implement if I write or rewrite existing software:

The 5 second rule:

Software must provide some sort of user visible feedback within 5 seconds of initiating the action, to indicate that it has not crashed and is doing something useful.
If a reliable indication can be made of when it is likely to finish, then provide it.

(This is because some of the software a predecessor wrote seems to process away for ages, and slow single core systems to a point where it is unusable; unless you know how to use task mgr to check it is working, it often results in a press of the reset button part way through processing).

John

 

[ncotton]

John, that reminds me of a Microsoft published programming book, saying "Use a progress bar, even if it is not accurate, to show the system is still responding". That's why some file copies go

....3 minutes remaining
....2 minutes remaining
....46 days remaining.

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix Group Ltd