Swearing that isn't 1

[MeGustaXL]

You know the situation; you've just driven a 4-inch nail through the web of skin between your thumb and forefinger, and hit yourself in the face with the clawhammer on the recoil! Your lovely Granny is watching and listening intently - how the Dickens do you express your pain and dismay at your own muttonheadedness!

I like to scream a selection of the following:

Flapping Bat!
Floating Boat!
You Sticking Ice-Hole

Any *BLEEP*ing others?

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[Scott24x7]

Dag-nabb-it
Frick'n
Freak'n
Frack (OLD Battlestar Galactica... zoiks!)

that's my contribution...


Best Regards,
Scott

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

 

[Grenage]

My word, that was a painful experience"


Carlsberg don't run I.T departments, but if they did they'd probably be more fun.

 

[KenCunningham]

A chap I used to know was forever 'blinking-blinking' it (literally). Personally, I don't find it has the same degree of pressure release/expressiveness, so tend to stick with the basic Anglo Saxon I grew up with.

Gadzooks, perhaps, though that does seem to be akin to blasphemy on investigation. My old Dad still uses 'Hell's Bells and Ruddy Big Fishes!' whenever things aren't quite going to plan.

I don't mind people who aren't what they seem. I just wish they'd make their mind up.

Alan Bennett.

 

[MeGustaXL]

My mate also uses 'blinking' or 'blimmin' as polite substitutes for the 'punctuational' F-word!

My daughter is an avid Neighbours fan, and now tells people to 'Rack Off' - in the sweetest way of course!

I know our Antipodean friends must have a blooming million of these *PARP*ing expressions to share with us!

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[Dagon]

There is of course "sugar", which many people use as a substitute for a slightly shorter word starting with an "s".

 

[rjoubert]

I learned a nice one from an old friend's toddler. Instead of using the f-word, I use "turtle-flippin"...like, "I'm turtle-flippin tired!

 

[MeGustaXL]

And my slightly longer version 'shetanta', which may or may not be a true swear word in some other language - if so, I'm very, very, very indifferent.

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[Sympology]

I just swear, much easier.

Only the truly stupid believe they know everything.
Stu.. 2004

 

[MeGustaXL]

Just as a matter of interest, rjoubert, what was the age of your friend's old toddler?

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[MeGustaXL]

<muffled by tongue in cheek>

Of course it is Stu, but if God didn't want us to swear, why the *TOOT* did he create women?

< Sound of MegustaXL taking cover >

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[rjoubert]

Chris...at the time, his toddler was between 2 and 3 years old...he got the phrase "turtle-flippin dinosaurs" from some cartoon movie he watched.

 

[MeGustaXL]

rjoubert, I was being slightly facetious, in that it was possible to read "An old friend's toddler" in 2 ways:

The toddler of someone you have known for a long time, or
An old toddler, who is the offspring of a friend.

See also:

Grand Piano for Sale by the lady next door with carved legs.

As with all such 'jokes', once you explain them, they're just not Mother-Lovin' funny any more!

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[rjoubert]

Sorry...too early in the morning for my brain to catch such humor. You're right though...once you explain it, it's just not as turtle-flippin funny. I like your example though...that's funny.

 

[cspilman]

Aww, Son-of-a-Mother!"

Regards,
Chuck

 

[rjoubert]

You son of a motherless goat!

 

[MeGustaXL]

HA-HAAAA! Nice one Chuck! --->*

One of the most accomplished non-swearers I know is a lady of F**ty-Odd years. She prefers to use the Latin or Greek names for parts of the anatomy, usually prefaced with "Fornicating.."

As Ken observed, this lacks the immediacy and sheer expressiveness of more traditional expletives, but it sure makes me laugh my spherical objects off

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[Lunatic]

'For the love of BOB' - inside joke among my college debate team, refering to our director of forensics who was the debate 'god'.

'Son of a bumpkin' - To be honest I don't know where this one came from and I didn't realize I even used it until someone started laughing at me when I used when Access wouldn't do what I wanted it to do (though it was my fault).

'Jim-iny-Christmas'

'frazelfrunkinbiznack' or something close to that.

 

[Trevoke]

You know the situation; you've just driven a 4-inch nail through the web of skin between your thumb and forefinger, and hit yourself in the face with the clawhammer on the recoil!

In that situation, I'm likely to yell, first, and THEN think about an educated way to express my dismay.

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

 

[MeGustaXL]

'frazelfrunkinbiznack' or something close to that.

My Dad used to say 'Razzenfrazzen-snerfin-driffnz' or something like that, which he attributed to Daffy Duck.

I believe it means "Well look at that! I've only gone and nailed my hand to the bench again!"

Or sometimes: "If you wanted me to buy you flowers as well as a card for your birthday, why didn't you turtle-flippin say so?"


Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk