If you took down your smtpd, that means you do not need the mail daemon for some time. So you can perform a quick test : change your DNS MX record and remove your server there (I suppose "your server" is the computer getting SYNFlooded; and, of course, I suppose you have secondary MXs somewhere).
If the flood stops (taking DNS propagation into account), this means it's your MX server that is targeted. Check if the secondary gets the load (it should). Someone is after you, but you know how to deviate the blow.
If the SYNflood continues, well, bad luck but that means it's your IP that is targeted (not your server as an MX). Did you recently changed IP ? That could explain a lot.
You should (but I think that's what you're already doing) work with your provider to trace back the flow. Where does it really come from, network-wise (source IPs are almost useless, as you said they are probably spoofed) ? Your provider should be able to see from which router it comes into his network and, step by step, get closer to the real source(s). With a little luck, everything comes from a few computers, and those can be identified.
Of course, if it's a DDos, this route tracing-back will not work for you.
To mitigate the problem, in every case, you may ask your provider to set up QoS, restrincting TCP/25 to something like 10% of your bandwidth.
Hth,