Priorities 1

[Polu]

Hello all.

From 13th November to 15th February I was working in a hell on earth project. My project leader started to see a psycoanalist and he left the job. My partner had so much stress that she had to go to hospital one nigth because she cannot move her head. I suffered a lot of stress, and my girlfriend suffered with me.

After that, my career manager sent me to LatinAmerica in order to "rebirth", and I agree. (I could have refused)

I was used to work in Europe, and my girlfriend was used to fly in weekends to came with me from Madrid (Spain) to the city where I was working by this time. But now, there is an ocean between us, and she cannot fly in weekends, only in holidays. She cannot handle that, and she is very very closer to leave me.

This is an large-scale international project. I've chat about my problem with office managers in any country involved, and they allow me to go back to home now. But when the cross-country manager, the big big boss, hear about this a few days later, he said "Not now, You could go next month". But I had already told my girlfriend that I will come back now, and when I told her that she has to wait one month, you can imagine what has happened.

So, I don't know what to do. I love my girlfriend, but I love my job too, indeed for the last six months it has been very stressful.

I am confused.

Polu.

 

[KenCunningham]

Polu,

a difficult situation which I found myself in three or four times in a previous incarnation when it was expected that staff would be prepared to move every three or four years in 'furtherance' of their careers. We (that is, my wife and I) coped by making sure that we spoke every day and wrote letters (latterly emails) of re-assurance. It must be very difficult being an ocean apart - at least our moves were within the UK. The major difficulty arose when children arrived and started to grow. I decided that it would no longer be fair to uproot them from friends, schools and familarity for the sake of the boss-man. As a consequence I accepted a slightly lower paid job in a position I wouldn't have to move unless I wanted to. What are the employment opportunities like in Spain right now?

I'm sure your girlfriend will come around to the idea of only one month more if you talk to her (as I'm sure you have, but you can't do too much talking to her!) and explain the position. You MUST, however, make sure that the i's are dotted and the t's crossed as far as the move back being watertight and not subject to 'review' is the boss-man sees fit.

Have faith, keep being truthful and hopefully all will work out for you both. Best wishes.

 

[DonQuichote]

If the job is so terribly stressful, maybe the boss hired to few people? I surely hope you don't loose your girlfriend because of a badly managed project. You'll regret it if you let that happen.

Good luck!

 

[Polu]

Hello!

I'm very happy to say that I'm back in Madrid (Spain). I'm still working at the same firm, but now in a different project. This new project let me stay in Madrid at least until November. My girlfring and I are living really beautiful days and I'm very, very happy

The dark side is that my salary will be freezed this year, but on the other hand I'm in a higher responsability possition in this new project. I don't fully understand this decission. I suppose that my firm wants me to stay with them but they cannot let me leave a project without paying a price...

Anyway, I'm very very happy

Thank you.

Polu.

 

[KenCunningham]

Polu - very pleased to hear that things worked out, hope it continues to do so. Enjoy!

 

[CajunCenturion]

Happy for you Polu - hope it continues to work out.

To offer some other possibilities to the salary freeze, it could be a function of project, departmental, and/or region budgets.

Good Luck
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As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[BJCooperIT]

Thanks for following up with your happy ending. As far as salary, look on the bright side, at least you did not have to take a salary cut!

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