Well I am not an expert at WP, but here is what I can tell you
I used a plug in called check mail in Wordpress. However that works is how I tested it.
If I put the smtp server in the php.ini as smtp.xxxx.ca, it works locally sending to xxxx.ca domain, but if I send to a gmail account, with the queue on hold on the exchange server, it does not show up.
I am running WP on a Windows 2003 server and exchange 2003 on a Windows 2003 server as well.....
to use normal wp.email sending you would need to have mail relay permissions set up on SMTP.xxxxx.ca for your incoming IP address. and no authentication too.
the alternative is to change the way wp sends email. by using phpmailer is similar.
phpmailer is made by wroxware and maintained on sourceforge. i don't recall precisely but I nearly certain that phpmailer is now used by wordpress in its core email functions. but it uses only the mail() based calls, which will not work unless your server allows unauthenticated relay from your ip.
the normal routes around for windows to set up a local smtp server on localhost. and lock that down so it is not an open relay.
the alternative would be to plugin to the actions hook 'phpmailer_init' and change the phpmailer object at that point to use isSMTP() and specifying your host, and the authentication date for your host.
if you need more help on fixing it this way you would be better asking in the wordpress forum of this site as the request is not php related (other than tangentially).
if you want more help on setting up your smtp exchange server, there is a forum on this site for that. likewise if you need help configuring a relay path on your local machine and/or your exchange server.
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