Management speak

[sbrews]

I did a quick search and didn't see anything under this topic - but I suppose "Irritating Word and Expressions" comes close.

What management speak have you heard or been subject to recently?

I just heard this one used on my co-worker today:

"You were out for 2 weeks (co worker had schedule vacation) so I need you to step up and take on weekend support."

On a side note - you should have seen the frustration when the co-worker replied: "As I see it, I give you Monday thru Friday, the weekend is for my life".





Add a little color to your PUTTY terminal: faq52-6627

 

[rjoubert]

One of my favorites was "Going forward." My colleagues and I (at a prior job) used to sit in meetings and keep track of how many times that phrase was uttered by various members of management. Some managers used it quite frequently.

 

[columb]

My favourite is 'learning curve', mostly because very few people know what it means. A subject can be easily grasped and still have a steep learning curve.

A close second is 'progress' used as a transitive verb. I may be able to make progress finding a solution to a problem but I shouldn't be able to progress a problem.

And, still with a podium position, is 'pushing the enveloppe'. An engineering term widely misused by management.

Ceci n'est pas une signature
Columb Healy

 

[MeGustaXL]

A previous Boss was an erudite and articulate man, very fond of Mgmt Spk in his meetings. He would generally pick a theme, and use the appropriate metaphors whenever he spoke. For example:

Boxing: We've got to come out swinging. I know we're punching above our weight, but... I'm not ready to throw in the towel! As soon as they sign the agreement, it's 'Seconds Out'.

Naval: We've been drifting with the tide... We've got to get the wind back in the sails. As soon as they sign the agreement, it's 'Full Steam Ahead'

Cricket: I want us to take guard on this one...We've got to bowl them over with our ideas. Knock them for six! As soon as they sign the agreement, it's 'Howzat?'

Space Travel: The clock is running, men. If you hit the launch window, I'll be over the moon! If we miss this window, I'll go ballistic! As soon as they sign the agreement, the countdown starts, etc, etc - you get the drift?

My co-workers and I would each choose a theme before the meeting, and the one with the right topic could have the chocolate biscuits!

Plus we played Buzzword Bingo, of course!

Chris

Don't count the days, make the days count

Muhammad Ali

 

[flapeyre]

Baseball:
"We need to establish some ground rules."

(American) Football:
"I guess we'll just have to drop back and punt" (i.e., give up and move on).

And old one: Synergy. (Ugh!).

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[MeGustaXL]

Reachback ????

Leverage, pronounced "Levveridge", as opposed to the correct-English "Leever-edge", and having something to do with putting people and ideas into the right place...?

We had a Kaizen, and K-T'd it to give us a routemap for our potential to “pump prime” these capabilities

Chris

Don't count the days, make the days count

Muhammad Ali

 

[vbSun]

Use of 'we' irritates me much..

"'We' have to finish coding that module.."

Well then...

"Come on! Grab a chair and open VSS!"
"O.. you do not have an account created in VSS.."

 

[gbaughma]

One of my pet peeves is "Grass roots".

If I'm interpreting right, a "Grass roots movement" isn't new, groundbreaking, etc.

Grass roots pretty much choke out everything else.

A grass roots movement would be a method of choking out the competition.

Correct me if I'm wrong on my interpretation, but I really think that "Grass Roots Movement" is *very* mis-used.



Just my 2¢
-Cole's Law: Shredded cabbage

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[ESquared]

I'd love to see support that "lee-ver-ij" is the correct pronunciation.

Dictionary.com lists it as a second pronunciation:

lev·er·age [lev-er-ij, lee-ver-]

m-w.com has 'le-v&-rij, 'lE-; 'lev-rij, 'lEv-

yourdictionary.com same as dictionary.com

cambridge dictionary online has slightly different pronunciation but still has both variants in the same order.

[COLOR=#aa88aa black]Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.[/color]

 

[2ffat]

One that I hate is "We need a new paradigm."

My least favorite phrase is, "I've got a problem." This really means, "It's 5 minutes before 5 and I want to go home but I made a mistake somewhere. I don't care if it takes you all night, fix it for me!"



James P. Cottingham
-----------------------------------------
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[MeGustaXL]

I'd love to see support that "lee-ver-ij" is the correct pronunciation

Point taken; I meant, the UK-pronuciation "lee-ver-ij", as opposed to the US version cited by my learned and observant colleague .

It just grates my UK-ears when I hear the thing I pull on called a "Lev-er", when my Mother (GBHCS) and English teachers all taught me it was called a "Lee-ver"

Still, we must embrace diversity here at TT-Inc.
(That's another M-S term of which I am thoroughly sick)

Chris

Don't count the days, make the days count

Muhammad Ali

 

[chiph]

The phrase I dislike is Team Player

It can mean many things, but often it's used in a sense of: "We're going to ask you to do something we know you won't like, and we're going to try guilt-tripping you into doing it."

Chip H.


____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first

 

[mjldba]

2ffat: I think you should have said "WE have a problem" 'cause I dread hearing that phrase as finishing time approaches.

Prior to the damn phone ringing I was having a good day, I did't have any problems, and that fact that YOU perceive the problem as an emergency that can only be rectified by heroic means (by ME) does not make it OUR problem. I'm not the one who fat-fingered the incorrect invoice date & now payment will not be made as planned.

Last time I took a call at 4:50PM from someone proclaiming a crisis and life as we know it cannot continue until the problem is fixed (preferrable in the next 10 minutes), I dropped everything, identified the problem, and corrected it in about 20 minutes. I called the user to let them know the issue was resolved and her co-worker told me she left for the day.

 

[2ffat]

mjldba,

[tab]Too true!



James P. Cottingham
-----------------------------------------
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[SQLSister]

The one that gets me is "<insert name of some high mucky muck at the company or one of the clients> needs this by 8:00 am Monday morning." Always said at tem minutes to quitting time on a Friday. Of course after you work the whole weekend to get it done - someone will come to you about Thursday of the next week with a question that lets you know this is the first time anyone looked at it. Or the high mucky muck will ask where it is a few days later becasue the other person hasn't forwarded it to them yet necasue they never got around to reviewing it.

Then the ever popular end of the day emergency. You start to work on it, you have a question that affects how you do it and the person with the emergency has gone home. Then that person is mad if the problem is still there the next day (because you couldn't resolve it without their answer).

"NOTHING is more important in a database than integrity." ESquared

 

[flapeyre]

If I'm the unfortunate soul on call over a weekend, any help desk cases that are not work-stoppage issues wait until Monday, period. Fortunately, that rarely happens, since I won't stand for such nonsense (and my boss backs me up, plus this is all in the written company policy).

This does nothing, unfortunately, to discourage the last-minute-before-the-weekend-panic users. I just explain the policy, shut down Windows, and go home.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[rosieb]

Hmm, soon after I started at my current place, I was told that something was "really urgent", so I worked an entire holiday weekend on it (unpaid - unheard of here). Passed it over on the Tuesday... no-one looked at it for a week!

That taught me that, here, there is "Urgent" and there is "urgent". It didn't/won't happen again!

Rosie
"It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong." Richard Feynman

 

[stackdump]

I recall being led down a similar path. My boss and I were trying to solve a problem and getting nowhere. We'd spent a week on it and it was getting late on a Friday and I said I'd take a look at it over the weekend. He said "ok, but I'll be surprised if you come up with anything". Sheesh!, so that weekend I worked like a demon, by Sunday lunch I had an explanation, late Sunday night I had a solution and proof, I found it! Monday morning I triumphantly slammed it down in front of him, "there you go!". He looked at me and said "You hated me on Friday night didn't you?, I knew if I got you wound up, you'd turn something in". He also said "I played golf both days over the weekend, what did you do?". Aaaaagh!

 

[rosieb]

Once bitten...

Rosie
"It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong." Richard Feynman

 

[jrbarnett]

If I'm told something is "Really urgent" I ask what the consequences would be if it wasn't done by their deadline.

I explain that why it may be urgent to them, I have to prioritise my tasks across the organisation as a whole, and if something else big is on (server problem, major app down etc) I have to fix that first.

John