I do not promise this will fix the issue, but it often does and is at least a good start.
Two things usually confound email server connections behind a router:
. an MTU issue. Most DSL systems have a default MTU value of 1492; Windows in the presence of non-dial up connections will default to 1500, as will your router.
The only sane way to set these values is by a test. I genuinly like the tweak test for MTU and RWIN values hosted by BroadBandReports:
Use the freeware utility DrTCP available on the site to set your client MTU and RWIN values based on the testing.
The second step is to go back into the router setup, and set MTU to the tested, discovered value. There is an option to manually configure the router MTU value. Use it.
. The security considerations of various email servers differs greatly. Be absolutely sure your firwall software is not blocking IGMP traffic. After doing the tweak test from above, resetting MTU on client and router, you might consider disabling any firewall software temporarily until the email server issue is resolved. I note here too that several popular firewall software products are difficult to disable. Norton Internet Security, Zone Alarm, and PC-Illan antivirus are particulary tough, as while they offer the option on the notification tray to set them to "disabled", that often is not good enough. Use Task Manager to stop any active firewall engine while sorting the email issue.