In over my head. 4

[DataHugger]

Okay, I finally think I have hit a wall.

I don't know how to talk to my manager. He doesn listen to me at all and the leader of the team gives into all his (sometimes unreasonable) demands.

I can't keep up. In my opinion the job has gone beyond it's original scope and I am failing to keep up with the new goals and expectations. I am willing to take my share of the blame, but there is very little structure (I need some type of project management) to the assignments of projects and they all expected to be completed at the same time even though they vary wildly in difficulty.

The database system we started with is little more then a glorified excel document and though we have come a long way. I just don't have the desire anymore.

This will be my second year as a computer proffessional and I am close to just giving up. I don't feel qualified to do anything anymore. I feel completely worthless here.

I honestly don't know what I should do?

Do I give up saying I bit/ was made to bite off more then i could chew?

If I do that how do I recover?

If I can't do that how do I recover?

Do I give up my personal life?

-datahugger-

 

[benlinkknilneb]

My parents once asked me this question:
"How do you eat an elephant?"

The answer:
"One bite at a time."

It's easy to feel overwhelmed, especially with less-than-stellar management. But truth be told, you're probably pretty capable of doing what you've been asked to do. Take it piece by piece and you'll overcome a lot of stress.

Can you talk to your manager? If you can't voice your concerns directly to him, he may not see what you see. If he's a real manager, he'll help you overcome this stuff... otherwise, you need to go over his head.

Don't be vindictive. If you attack him, you become the bad guy. State it as a call for help rather than a "he's unreasonable" and you'll probably get a lot farther. Diplomacy works wonders.

You may have to give up your personal life for a little bit to get the project on track... that's part of IT work. However, you shouldn't let your job determine your whole life. If it becomes expected that you put in 60-hour weeks with no compensation, get out of Dodge FAST.



Ben

There's no place like 127.0.0.1.

 

[DrJavaJoe]

Get yourself a legal pad and start a Thing To Do List. As you complete items cross them off, when the page gets full, start a new page rewriting all of the things yet to be completed first. Soon you'll notice that the crap on top are the things you keep putting off and probably dislike doing the most and maybe even the source of much of your frustration so either buckle down and get them off the list or hand them off to someone else.

Also, a little Scotch after work can work wonders;-)


Two strings walk into a bar. The first string says to the bartender: 'Bartender, I'll have a beer. u.5n$x5t?*&4ru!2[sACC~ErJ'. The second string says: 'Pardon my friend, he isn't NULL terminated'.

 

[LFI]

I hear about people in jobs that take 60 - 80 or more hours per week. They take them away from their friends, family, hobbies, personal life... I hope I never find myself stuck in one of those!

As a "newbie," it's easy to believe that all the jobs out there are the same as this one, but they are not. Even the same job with different management could be better or worse.

Do what you can. Document everything you think could be helpful as a defense, should you need it. Things worth documenting: requests for information or help that have been ignored or refused; being asked to stay late (particularly last-minute requests and those with which you have complied); etc.

If you have a zillion things on your plate right now, try to sketch out a To-do-list of the order in which you think you need to do them, based on priorities and how long it will take you to do them. Show your boss your list and ask if he agrees with your prioritizations.

"Priority" is a powerful word. When asked to do something new, feel free to say "Should this take priority over this other thing you asked me to do? What would you like done first?"

Don't complain too loudly and don't meet requests with a negative attitude. Regardless of whether it is your boss or your peer who is picking up the vibes, you will begin to devalue yourself in their eyes. Never good.

Find mentors in the company. People who does what you are doing but have been there longer. Ask them if they feel swamped and how they manage it. Act like you respect their opinion and experience and they will gladly share their wisdom with you. If they seem like they have a lot to say, tell them that lunch is on you and get them away from the office to pick their brains. One good mentor will be enough (then, too, you might even find yourself somewhat 'protected' by them).

If you try all of this and people are consistently unreasonable or the work really is too tough or you are certain that you're actually not qualified for this specific work you're doing... Well, start looking for new work. Easy to say, I know, but if there's the chance you're going to be fired, you should at least be ready.

I just recommended this web site to someone else today. It's got a great newsletter for people looking for work, but I find the information even helps center me at my current job.

http://www.asktheheadhunter.com.

Good luck!

--Dave

 

[paterson]

All great advice!

Talk to your HR department. The HR department could help you with talking with your boss if he becomes difficult. Always approach your boss first before going over his head. If the job is affecting your life to the point that your stress level is too much, perhaps ask your boss for a leave of absence to get your head straight. Your company might even have resources that you can access. Again, the HR department should have info on that.

 

[DataHugger]

Thank you for the advice.

See the problem compilcates because this is a small company so the only one above my boss is the owner.

We don't have an HR dept. per se. We just have an employee that is aware of the mental heath of the others.

Our team (between the three of us we have 5 1/2 years of experience) has tried the priority thing to get him to committ to something that we can wrap our minds around. Everything evauntually became priority number one.

I think the main problem steams for the fact that he is a reactive manager and we are trying to be proactive.

There are quite a few instances where we have informed him of a potential problem, but he dismissed it untill cost the company money. Then it becomes another priority number one.

In a small company setting is it normal to be asked for you to abandon your weekends and do work?

I think I might have damaged my worth here if not in his eyes then in my own.

I am going to re-read all you post several times...I want to at least escape here better prepared to not let this happen again.

 

[crystalized]

Here are a couple of things I find useful.

I get a weekly email called Pause. The topic being the need to stop and refresh yourself. If you are feeling really on edge it is probably time to ask for one or two vacation days to recharge your batteries. If days off are not possible, try just taking a walk as a coffee break a couple of times a day every day.

The other thing I find useful is if the list is really long and it is getting longer every time you get a new email etc. Take an hour (or a couple hours) to focus solely on one task, if necessary close your email and forward the phone (especially if you are like me and can't resist the temptation of the "urgent" beep of incoming email or a ringing phone). One hour of focussed work will undoubtedly accomplish more than an hour split up into seven tasks and interrupted five times by email and phone calls. This works well with the priority list discussed by another person - just put that focussed time on the highest priority item.

Another thing - one of the people on Tek-Tips has a signature tag line that says "Salary <> slavery" - remember that if your employer is constantly expecting excessively long working hours (which I consider anything consistently over 40 hours a week).

And if all else fails, consider your other options. Other jobs in IT, other interests outside of IT, returning to school etc.

Good luck, and whatever you do don't let your frustration with your job take over your life.



Crystal
--------------------------------------------------

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

-Oscar Wilde

 

[SQLSister]

At age 50, I've been in pretty much all versions of work hell. First things first. Sit down with yourself and truly assess the problems. Which are actually your fault and what can you personally do to correct them? Which problems are not your fault but impacting you negatively? Is there anything you personally can do to improve the situation with them? Is this the right job for you? Maybe you should consider looking elsewhere. No job is worth making yourself miserable over.

But don't do this until you have honestly looked at your own personal performance and taken steps to improve. Ask for help if you need it. It's been my experience that most people are so surprised when someone admits to causing a problem and wanting help to sort it out that they do help. (Note this is a risk as not everyone will respond positively. On the other hand, I've not been fired when making a massive mistake that I admitted before anyone else ever noticed and came to the CEO with a plan to mitigate the damage. I've seen people fired for not doing the same when they made a mistake.)

Also don't look for another job until you can figure out how not to get yourself in a simlar situation elsewhere. Moving from one bad situation to another will hurt your confidence even more.

Lots of offices expect you to routinely work more than 40 hours. Especially in IT. This isn't a function of big vice small companies; I've seen it at both and I've seen the opposite at both. It's a function of cheapness of the company usually. For me this is one of the big red flags that tell me the company will never be a good place to work. I have no objection to overtime to fix an emergency prpoblem or right before a software release, but every week means they are too cheap to pay for the correct number of emplyees. You will also have trouble getting decent raises, new equipment, upgraded software, etc from these companies.

All jobs have problems with priorities and conflicting expectations. This part is normal. Since your boss is reactive and not proactive, it might be best to learn to be proactive on your own. Get things ready ahead of tme so that when the priority cranks up suddenly, you already havea plan for how to deal with it and know what to do. Easier to fix a problem you already know the solution to than to deal with a crisis where you don't know what to do. This may involve some off duty research and development time of your own until you are more knowledgeable. It may also involve some practice at work (your boss surely doesn;t know what you are doing every second.) For instance, take managing a database as an example. Practice restoring your backup onto another computer until you can do it easily. Then when the emergency comes along, no sweat. Look for opportunites to shine by being prepared ahead of time. There are many proactive things you can do without your boss's direct permission you know. It's called taking initiative. Sure you probably can't spend any money, but setting things up to make them easier to implement doesn't cost the company more than your salary which they were going to pay anyway. And if you never get to implement them at this company, the klnowledge gained will probably come in handy somewhere else. Look on this job as a learning experience. The best way to get good judgement is through experience; you get experience through bad judgement. (Who said that, I read it somewhere recently.) Wht this means is that the best way to learn is to make mistakes. Just ensure that you do learn from them. Good luck.



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[chiph]

Everything evauntually became priority number one.

Then drop the "priority 1..5" idea, and just get them to put what they want done in an ordered list. And make sure that the list can't change for two weeks while you work on the first few items. After that, they can reprioritize again.

Chip H.


____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first

 

[DataHugger]

I think I have all but given up here.

I need to find a new place. I understand, hopefully, most of the mistakes I have made and the situations I want to avoid in the future. I don't really want to give up, but It is becomeing painfully obvious to me that I am not what this company needs. I don't trust the people above me anymore. I really don't think they care. To keep coming in every day hopeing that things with change is insanity.

Any advice on how to move on?

 

[chiph]

Depends on what you want to do. If you want to stay full-time, then the job boards are the place to start. If you want to do some contracting, then you need to find a contracting company in your area who specializes in the area where you have your skills.

Chip H.


____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first

 

[LFI]

Well the good news is that you don't seem to feel like you're a poor performer, just not what this company needs (an improvement over what it sounded like in your original post!). 'hopefully your self-esteem reflects this (i.e., you DO believe you are a good match for the RIGHT company).

Definitely check out

http://www.asktheheadhunter.com

and try to do your best to not burn bridges. If you end up working in town, you will discover how small a world it is! Even if you don't... better safe than sorry!

Good luck!

--Dave

 

[DataHugger]

I know I am not a complete waste of life even though I feel that way right now.

Hopefully soon my outlook will match my feelings.

 

[jaymaechtlen]

got your resume updated yet?
Have you had some friends (and others) critique it?
How many job boards have you bookmarked?
How many of them have your resume posted?
If you are a college grad (or even a former attendee) check out the placement program there- that's where a lot of companies go for entry-level types. Many of them can also use someone with some experience...
Stay in touch!