How to stop having a row with an employee 1

[frankieg]

I have a colleague who is always miserable. They think that they are to good for the job and always complaining about being bored. This person is now getting on my nerves and sometimes does not speak to me although I haven't said or made any remarks.
What can i do without giving this person a righthander to make me feel better and get over this useless slob.

 

[LesleyW]

Well you made a good start by admitting s/he gets to you and you want to avoid a punch up.

If s/he's not speaking to you... well it sounds like you are better off that way than having him/her moan all the time to you!

What can you do? Remain professional and detached. Don't take it personally. Remember who is the looser here.. i.e. the one going round with a miserable face. NOT you! You only have to put up with this person during working hours, s/he has to go home with that miserable face and attitude.

Sometimes it helps to have your own (PRIVATE) moan with someone you trust who also knows this person - sometimes its healthy just to recieve validation that a) its this person not you that's the problem and b) other people find it hard to put up with.

Good luck... remember to control the fist of death!

 

[JeremyNYC]

Lesley's spot on: the point is that this belly aching is not about you, not about the job this person has to do. It's about the person doing the job.

Jeremy

==
Jeremy Wallace
AlphaBet City Dataworks

http://www.ABCDataworks.com

Affordable Development, Professionally Done

Please post in the appropriate forum with a descriptive subject; code and SQL, if referenced; and expected results. See thread181-473997 for more pointers.

 

[kova]

i am very much like the person depicted here.

i think that this has more to do with this persons chain of thought. if he feels he is 2good for the job, maybe that is TRUE. ever considered that? give him more responsibility, more things to do at work.

at my work place i have to work with people that have maybe 5 percent of the knowladge tht i have, and yet i have to put up with their stupid comments and put up with their mistakes. as i live in a poor country with a LOT OF people that are unemplyed, i have to keep this job and can not get another, better one.

i am currently working on seting up my own company, so that i can leave this workplace environment. it is not that it is THAT bad, it is just that i have zero responsibility, i have to put up with my stupid coworkers and spend 99percent of my time correcting their mistakes.

that is why i complain and why i am in a bad mood all the time. sorry, i just can not help it.

 

[Kjonnnn]

People usually do the best they can considering, all factors in their situation.

I'm sure if many of you could get much better jobs, you would. But factoring in all the variables in your present situation, you're at where you're at.

The same for this guy.

If you have the personality for it tell him, "Since you feel you're better than your present employment situation, stop whining about it and go do something about it. Find you a better job." If he says there are no jobs out there, tell him "well i guess you CANT do better."

Some people love whine and no one has ever told them to stop.

I worked with a tech who always was saying I'm not being paid enough for what I do. I told him, 'If u feel that way stop whining (EVERY DAY) and go get a better job.' Well, he did go and interview quite a few places and found no one wanted to pay him what HE THOUGHT he was worth. But he kept on whining. I had to tell point blank 'Look I don't wanna hear your complaining anymore.'

Sometimes you need to be blunt. You CAN do so without being mean.

 

[kova]

>>Some people love whine and no one has ever told them to stop.

i do not like to wine. and i do not do so. but i am unhappy and people notice this, mostly because i am a regulary nice person and overall good with other people and people generaly like me.

but this does not change the fact that i am doing a job for 6 hours that i could do in 2, and i get no more work or more responsibility. the next 4 hours i spend LOOKING FOR WORK around the company, so that i am not borred to death, or, as i said - i go around fixing other peoples problems and issues that THEY are paid to resolve, but generaly do not. and the management ABOVE does not do anything to chang this. they say i am great worker and would not like me to leave, but i AM GOING TO LEAVE, and soon, cause they do not ACT on this, and NOTHING changes.

 

[Guyute97]

I have to say that the person that feels they are too good for the job is usually just the opposite. The majority of the time they simply aren't or are barely qualified for it.

As a matter of fact, when I war running a team they were usually the first one we were ready to show the door and they difinately got a shape up or ship out speach. A bad attitude is infectious and regardless of the work they do it can bring the team down or make others unhappy as well.



--Guyute

 

[rosieb]

frankieg
Sounds as if you've got real prima donna.

LesleyW is right, it's about them , not you.

I doubt it has anything to do with the job per se, it sounds as if this person wants to be the centre of attention.

It's totally selfish manipulative behaviour, they've probably found that complaining gets them sympathy, sulking gets attention (people try to talk them round, or find out what they did to upset them).

Do they ever sympathise with other who have a problem? Or do they turn it round to their own particular moans?

If they report to you Guyute97is right a "shape up or ..." is probably called for.

If not, unfailing cheerfulness; if they ignore, you an extra-loud "Good Morning X. Did you have a nice weekend?" If they moan, give them an "Ah, well its tough for us geniuses".

But don't reward their bad behaviour by giving them the response they want.

I sympathise, such people are hard to work with.

(A good smack, while satisfying, is probably not a recommended career move.)

Rosie

 

[foundryqa]

I have come across people like your colleague Frankieg. For some reason, these people think that the world revolves around them and that we are there to stop them from getting all that they deserve. We should be there to serve them, regardless of their level or ours in the organization. This was hard for me to deal with and can be from time to time. If it tears you up, you need to confront it. Don't avoid, don't hide from it, don't pretend it's no big deal. Simply approach the person, explain what you see in their actions and explain why you do not appreciate it. If the person has any deciency, they will acknowledge your concerns. They may even be surprised that you noticed what they were doing (I'm not sure why this is such a shocker to some). If they blow it off, then you can sleep well knowing that they are not worth the time or trouble. Don't let someone like that bring you down, we all have enough already on our plates. And just remember, don't sweat the small stuff, and everything is small stuff
Fred

 

[Stella740pl]

I agree with most people on what to do when your coworker is constantly complaining. Except those that run the teams.
Guyute97, if you were a manager or a team leader, and, of course, a bad attitude is infectious, and the person bringing down the morale was unhappy mainly because he feels he is too good for the job, did you even consider the possibility that he actually is? Or maybe he is just not busy enough? Busy people don't have time to complain. I guess you should have tried to swamp more job on the person, challenging job, if possible, or to ask him what he thinks needs improvement in the company processes, and then assign him with doing it. If he is doing OK with more work, it will be beneficial for the company, and you should be looking for ways to motivate him further, if not, then, well, whatever you have to do.

Stella

 

[SQLSister]

One thing that people in the workplace need to understand is that if they think and behave as too good for their current job, they will NEVER get moved to a better position in that company because of their attitude. Managers are generally unimpressed with people who complain about doing their current job (unless they are sleeping with them or personal friends). And I agree with Guyute97, people like this generally do poor work and are not nearly as good as they think they are.

If you are a manger, you should confront the behavior. If you don;t manage the person, you should do everything possible to make sure they don't complain to you. Rewarding them by giving them added responsibilites or or listening to and sympathizing with the behavior will only increase it not fix it. If such people worked for me, not only would I counsel them about their attitiude, but I would make sure that they got assigned all the low level tasks nobody else wants to do and keep that person really busy.

 

[Stella740pl]

SQLSister,

Rewarding them by giving them added responsibilites ... will only increase it not fix it.

Well, you probably have a better insight since you do manage people and I usually don't, but I used to work with a person like that. She thought she was too good for the job, was hiding her knowledge on that basis (she was good at what she was doing, I guess, but beleive me, that hidden knowledge was easily found in help files and professional magazines), complaining to coworkers one day, spreading gossips or arguing bitterly about small stuff another, and the third day she for no apparent reason stopped speaking to the same people she complained and gossiped. Granted, she was usually in a bad mood. Well, I never confronted her, I just avoided to argue or listen to complaints and gossips, and just ignored her not speaking to me. I don't think managers were aware of what's going on. But I noticed that when she had a good assignment and was all busy doing it, it was good for everybody around her. She was sitting all the time in her cubicle, working hard, not complaining, not gossiping - it was just great! (Or maybe she was just not speaking to all the people at once?) So, I guess, some people doing it because they are bored with not enough work.

Stella

 

[jen89]

In some jobs, there is natural downtime, and it may be impossible to keep such a person busy all of the time. A manager is not a babysitter. It is not his or her responsibility to keep assigning busy work during a slow time to keep an employee from complaining and gossiping. An employee should be able to keep themselves busy by finding new projects that they might be able to do or reading manuals and doing research, instead of complaining. That's just childish. A really good employee will never be bored unleass he wants to be, and probably won't be in a job that he is too good for for very long. When his managers see how he is pressing to learn new things and showing that he really is too good for the job instead of just talking about it, they'll find a new place for him as soon as they can.