Well, Dave, you asked! Here is a collection of loosely marriage-connected trivia and quotes - some funny, some thoughtful, some provocative. Use what you can, but you might want to check it's validity and accuracy first!
Expensive Wedding:
The world's most expensive wedding was thrown by Lakshmi Mittal for his daughter Vanisha Mittal and her fiancée Amit Bhatia on June 22 2004. The wedding was held at Vaux le Vicomte a 17th-century French chateau on the final day of a 6 day celebration which is estimated to have cost $60 million USD.
Longest Engagement:
The longest engagement is recorded as being between Octavio Guillen and Adrianna Martinez. They were engaged in 1902. They finally took the plunge in June 1969 in Mexico City after 67 years. Both were then aged 82. (And they probably thought by that stage, ‘Why not?!’).
Quote:
‘Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is the not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being ‘in love’ which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burnt away. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.’
Louis de Bernière, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
Amusing:
A concerned husband, who was getting on a bit, went to his doctor to talk about his wife. ‘Doctor, I think my wife is getting very deaf because she never hears me the first time and I always have to repeat everything I say.’
The doctor replied, ‘Go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn’t reply move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we will get an idea of the severity of her deafness.’
So the husband goes home and does exactly what is instructed. He starts off about 15 feet behind his wife in the kitchen who has her back turned, chopping some vegetables, and he says to her, ‘Darling what’s for dinner?’. No response.
He moves about five feet closer and asks again. Still no response. He moves five feet closer; still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right up behind her and yells into her ear, ‘Darling what’s for dinner?’
At which point she turns around and says in an exasperated voice: ‘
For the fourth time I said, “Lamb casserole!”’
Punctuation:
An English professor wrote the words
a woman without her man is nothing on the blackboard and asked the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: ‘
A woman, without her man, is nothing.’
The women wrote: ‘
A woman: without her, man is nothing.’
Things that Matter In Life:
Woody Allen once remarked, ‘There are only two things that matter in life, one is sex and the other really isn’t all that important.’
Kissing:
According to scientists, frequent kissing stabilises cardiovascular activity and decreases high blood pressure and cholesterol. It also fights plaque and prevents cavities because the extra saliva helps clean out your mouth.
We lose 12 calories during every passionate kiss. (The longest kiss apparently lasted 30 hours, 59 minutes and 27 seconds. Now THAT's the way to slim!)
One final encouragement about kissing - apparently our brains have special neurons that help us find each others' lips in the dark!
Tony
___________________________________________________
Reckless words pierce like a sword,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Solomon)
![[santa]](/data/assets/smilies/santa.gif "[santa] [santa]")
Mufasa
).