Geek humor 4

[johnherman]

Math:
Q: What's the square root of 69?
A: 8 something.
Q: Why do you like 77 more than 69?
A: 69 and then 8 more.

Engineer:
The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The engineer says you used the wrong size glass.

====================================
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there - original.

 

[hjgoldstein]

If Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% Perspiration is that why really bright people smell so bad?

Aspiring to mediocrity since 1957

 

[SkipVought]

I'd call it tasteless, crude, inappropriate humor; especailly inappropriate for Tek-Tips.

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[hjgoldstein]

Surely if it's that bad you'd Red Flag it. Tasteless, yes, but we are all adults here aren't we?

Aspiring to mediocrity since 1957

 

[Noway2]

Its like the celebrity sandwich shop that tried offering the John and Bo Derek sub, nobody liked it because it was tasteless.

 

[flapeyre]

When the first Trojan Horse virus came out, it was in the form of an e-mail offering a free prize. The CBS anchor Charles Osgood commented:

Spoiler

The moral of the story is: Beware of Geeks bearing gifts.

-- Francis
Francisus ego, sed non sum papa.

 

[ponoodle]

The door mat I always wanted to get..."There's no place like 127.0.0.1

 

[hairlessupportmonkey]

I actually made this joke up - not a Geek joke, but a Geek's joke.

Q: What does a mortician magician say when performing his magic trick?
A: Abracadaver!

ACSS - SME
General Geek

 

[SkipVought]

[tt]
+---------+
|         |
|127.0.0.1|
 \       /
   \   /
     V
[/tt]

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[SantaMufasa]

Skip,

Very clever, but our non-American friends have no clue what your diagram means.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

 

[SkipVought]

It certainly is not cricket!

In the game of baseball, there are 4 bases. Three are square bags and the 4[sup]th[/sup] is a 5 sided shape, the placement of each has a side on a baseline and resides completely within the in-bound area of play.


Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[SkipVought]

...this 5-sided base is called "home" or "home plate."

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[IPGuru]

Baseball, That's rounders isn't it?

A Maintenance contract is essential, not a Luxury.
Do things on the cheap & it will cost you dear

 

[SamBones]

No, no, no, Rounders was a movie with Matt Damon and Ed Norton.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0128442/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

 

[kwbMitel]

Lastest take on 2 kinds of people in this world:

1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data


**********************************************
What's most important is that you realise ... There is no spoon.

 

[gbaughma]

There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don't.


There are 3 types of people in the world
Those who can count, and those who can't.

84% of all statistics are made up.



Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[kwbMitel]

|There are 10 types of people in the world.
|Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
(and those that didn't expect this to be in base 3)

**********************************************
What's most important is that you realise ... There is no spoon.

 

[johnherman]

(this is true). 70% of Americans think that they are Above Average drivers. Of course, this means that at least 20% are wrong.

====================================
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because there is more manure there - original.

 

[KornGeek]

(this is true). 70% of Americans think that they are Above Average drivers. Of course, this means that at least 20% are wrong.

Not necessarily. Let's assign ratings between 1 and 10 for driving skill. If 80% of American drivers score an 8, and 20% score a 3, the average score would be 7. This would mean that 10% of American drivers actually underestimate their driving ability.

 

[SamBones]

Wow, that's pretty optimistic. From my experience, most drivers are equally bad. Say 95% rating around a 3. Since only 5% or less of us good drivers are rated higher than that, at least 95% of drivers are below average. Every one of those 3's that think they're a better driver are wrong! Maybe that's just Southern California though.

KornGeek, your point is well taken. The actual "average" can be skewed higher or lower than someone may be assuming. I think when most people say they are better than average, they are using the term "average" to mean the middle of that 1 to 10 scale (5.5).