It's just such a broad question, but I'll give it a shot --
I'll assume that you know how to make recordsets, get data out of them -- be sure to set the proper lockType and cursorType enum's when you have one that you want to update.
<form name=updateForm action="thisPage.asp" method=post>
<input type=text name=id value=<%=rs("PKField"

%> readOnly>
<input type=text name=empName value=<%rs("empName"

%>>
<input type=text name=address value=<%=rs("address"

%>>
<input type=hidden name=action>
<input type=button value="Update" onClick="submitMe('update')>
<input type=button value="Delete" onClick="submitMe('delete')>
</form>
So now you have a form, which is initially filled in with a record from the database. It has a readonly field (you might choose to make that just regular html output so as not to tempt users to change it -- and then set another hidden field to the primary key) that contains your primary key id field so you know what record to deal with when you get to the action part of this operation.
You also have that hidden field up there called action... you will check the value of that element when it's time to decide whether to update or delete the current record...
So, now you need a javascript function that will do two things: set the value of the action field, and then submit the form.
<script language=javascript>
function submitMe(value){
if (value == 'update')
document.updateForm.action.value = 'update';
else
document.updateForm.action.value = 'delete';
document.updateForm.submit();
}
</script>
So done -- then on your receiving page (maybe it could be a recursive call to the same page) you would start off by asking for two variables: action, and id
<%
dim action, id
action = request.form("action"

id = request.form("id"

%>
and then you would get yourself a new recordset (the same one you had before) -- find the record in question, and then do whatever you are supposed to do with it:
<%
dim findString, empName, address
findString = "PKField = " & id
rs.find findString
if action = "delete" then
rs.delete
else
empName = cstr(request.form("empName"

)
address = cstr(request.form("address"

)
rs("empName"

= empName
rs("address"

= address
end if
rs.update
%>
and on and on and on --
does this help?

Paul Prewett