Differences Between You And Your Boss - humor 3

[BJCooperIT]

If you take a long time, you're slow.
BUT if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

If you don't do it, you're lazy.
BUT if your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

If you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
BUT if your boss makes a mistake, he's 'only human'.

If you're on a day off sick, you're 'always' sick.
BUT if your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

If you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
BUT if your boss does it, he's being firm.

If you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
BUT if your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

If you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
BUT if your boss please his boss, he's being co-operative.

If you do something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. BUT if your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

If you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
BUT if your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

If you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
BUT if your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

^{Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. ~George Bernard Shaw}
Consultant/Custom Forms & PL/SQL - Oracle 8.1.7 - Windows 2000

 

[CajunCenturion]

Does that middle management is
Extremely taleneted as they can do both at the same time, or
merely schizophrenic?


Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[rosieb]

Isn't that what makes schizophrenia fun....

Doing b...all - considering the alternatives.

Not rushing in - postponing until the decision goes away.

 

[BJCooperIT]

I find it interesting that by switching a word or two these can be comments on other relationships too!

Examples:
If you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
BUT if your boss husband does it, he's being firm.

If you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
BUT if your boss wife does it, he's she's being firm.


^{Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. ~George Bernard Shaw}
Consultant/Custom Forms & PL/SQL - Oracle 8.1.7 - Windows 2000

 

[rosieb]

BJCooperIT
I prefer to work on the basis that if I take a stand , I'm right, if my husband takes a different stand (as is his right) he's hungry. His choice...

Strange, I'm usually right.

 

[lionelhill]

I must make sure my wife doesn't start reading this site...

 

[BJCooperIT]

^{Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. ~George Bernard Shaw}
Consultant/Custom Forms & PL/SQL - Oracle 8.1.7 - Windows 2000

 

[Onyxpurr]

Hmmmm, that does sounds a lot like my relationship with my husband.

"If I take a long time answering, I'm slow;
If he takes a long time answering, he's cautious.

If I take a long time to get to the dishes, I'm lazy;
If he takes a long time to get to the dishes, he's overworked.

If I actually do the dishes, it's routine;
if he does the dishes, it's A MIRACLE!!"

lol. All in good fun.

 

[BJCooperIT]

If my code runs slow it is poor design.
BUT if my boss's code runs slow the network is bogged down.

^{Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. ~George Bernard Shaw}
Consultant/Custom Forms & PL/SQL - Oracle 8.1.7 - Windows 2000

 

[BeckahC]

Oh Wow! I needed this! :-D



BeckahC

 

[robbieguy2003]

This is soooooo true!!!!

If i'm building a program - For instance, an automated form that writes into 3 backend systems on three different sites, has built in error protection, if one system has an error or is in maintainance mode adds it to a que and alerts the user and then mails the user once the jobs done plus executes in less than 5 seconds from the users perspective (<1 second from the servers perspective) and took me 4 days to write, debug and go live with it i'm being slow and overly cautious.

If the Boss writes a program (LOL!!!!) it takes a week, the code is usually modified from some several freeware pieces of junk and then badly patched together and then i end up getting involved to do a rewrite from scratch and then get moaned at for taking a week or two to do the job properly!!!!

How the hell do these people get their positions!!!

Rob

 

[hilfy]

Check out this great Three Weird Sisters song on this subject:

http://www.threeweirdsisters.com/lyrics_pointyhairedboss.htm

-Dell

 

[MDXer]

If you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
BUT if your wife does it, he's she's being firm


Firm isn't the term I would use to describe my wife when she is being bullheaded.



&quot;Shoot Me! Shoot Me NOW!!!&quot;
- Daffy Duck