Corpspeak! 2

[eyeswideclosed]

My company never used it much before but lately I'm hearing "going forward" a lot, this could lead to worse things, like "win-win" or (horrors) "talking points", it's a slippery slope! Like drugs! I must kill it now before it gets bigger! Then we are all doomed! Doomed I say!!

 

[donbott]

What is a bullet point? power point?

I'm just a poor techie kept in the dark

DonBott

 

[jebenson]

What is a bullet point?

It is a piece of text that is set of from the main body of text by a bullet - a circle, star, arrow, shamrock, etc., to draw attention to the bulleted text. For example:

[ul]
[li]Bullet one[/li]
[li]Bullet two[/li]
[/ul]

I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

Arrrr, mateys! Ye needs ta be preparin' yerselves fer Talk Like a Pirate Day! Ye has a choice: talk like a pira

 

[rosieb]

Hah - you're OK until they start "Leveraging the synergies", then, get out the garlic!

Rosie
"Don't try to improve one thing by 100%, try to improve 100 things by 1%

 

[strongm]

Ah, here we go, Meeting Bingo ...

 

[Scott24x7]

You know... I find it humorus that a group like "Tek-Tips" filled with it's "Tek-Heads" would poke fun at the language of "Corp speak" that they don't understand, in the same way that the "Corp Talker's" don't understand "Techie Language" either... hmmmm seems to be a paradox in here somewhere...

Jargon is used in virtually every aspect of life where there is a "click"...

Take sports for example... every sport has its list of words that unless you follow the sport, the first time you hear them you don't know what they mean.
Golf - Birdie, Albatros, Eagle
Chess - En Passant, Castling, Check
Football - that one is a problem in and of itself...

Here's another idea: go hang out at a cattle auction house, and see how much of it makes sense to you...

I would suggest spending more time understanding it, and bridging the communication gaps than running from it... but that's just my approach.



Best Regards,
Scott

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

 

[snuv]

techspeak V corpspeak

Techies dont understand corpspeak but do understand techspeak

"Corp talkers" dont understand techspeak and I strongly suspect that they don't understand corpspeak either



"If it could have gone wrong earlier and it didn't, it ultimately would have been beneficial for it to have." : Murphy's Ultimate Corollary

 

[Scott24x7]

I don't think that's very fair... while I have met pleanty of "Dilbert's Boss" in my day, I think it is the few that tarnish the greater number...

Synergy is a word that accuratly describes the concept the some of the whole is greater than the parts...

What is wrong with Win-Win? Is it our conditioning that leads us to think that there has to be a winner and a loser? That there can't be a mutually agreeable solution that effectively benifits all parties?

I would challenge the thinking of Competition vs. Achievment, which is the embodiment of Win-Win. Competitivness worries about how well "you" do compared to "the other guy". Why not focus on simply doing *genuienly* the best that you can do?

Techies could take over the world if they spent a little more time understanding what this "language" is all about, instead of cringing when it is spoken...



Best Regards,
Scott

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

 

[Scott24x7]

Sorry, forgot to mention that the problem with these phrases is that they get tossed around without regard for understanding of their meaning, which diluets their effectiveness.



Best Regards,
Scott

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

 

[addy]

Where I work, for some reason the following phrase has entered the vocabulary of half the people in the building:

'....and all that good stuff'.

I hate it, everytime you talk to people all I hear is 'Oh yeah, we are looking at a new server and all that good stuff'.

Or, 'We're going to Florida in the summer to see Disney and all that good stuff'.

I am on the verge of becoming homicidal I swear.

 

[Scott24x7]

Addy,
Yes, that is a different matter all together... phrases like "Touch Base". Touch the base of what? Sometimes things slip into general language that drive me insane... there's usually one about ever 5 years that lingers around for 5 years, and then a new one comes along to replace it.
I could see "And all that good stuff" becoming one of those...
From the past:
"S*** happens"
"Whatever"
"Sounds like a personal problem"

Think I've gone off topic now... please, some one kill me.


Best Regards,
Scott

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

 

[sbix]

You folks can't imagine how lucky you are to live in english-speaking countries!
In Italy we are sieged by corp-speakers using words which meanings they really don't understand.
If you ask'em something like "what's the translation for INCOME or for REVENUE" you will have tons of different results.
I bet one day I will hear a corp-speaker saying "Yesterday I have bought an INCOME short-tail with a pure pedigree coming from generations of INCOMEs

 

[Scott24x7]

SBIX,
Living in Tokyo, Japan I undestand exactly what you mean.


Best Regards,
Scott

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

 

[Thadeus]

The one that used to get under my skin was from a salesman that I used to support as the tech consultant. He would constantly say "Not for nothing, [blah, blah, blah]". This was 1998 - 99... one would think I'd be over it by now.

~Thadeus

PS: that was the first company I worked at that gave me a baseball cap with the word "Synergy" on it.

 

[sbudzynski]

What the heck is an albatros in golf?

----------

Steve Budzynski


"So, pass another round around for the kids. Who have nothing left to lose and for those souls old and sold out by the soles of my shoes"

 

[sbudzynski]

If it has something to do with a bad score, I already know all about it

----------

Steve Budzynski


"So, pass another round around for the kids. Who have nothing left to lose and for those souls old and sold out by the soles of my shoes"

 

[CajunCenturion]

==> What the heck is an albatros in golf?
It's more commonly known as a double-eagle.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read FAQ181-2886
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[RCorrigan]

sbudzynski

Courtesy of wikepedia :

Hole scores
Scores on each hole are reported the same way that course scores are given. There are nicknames given to scores on holes ranging from four-under-par to five-over-par.

Par: Even (E). The golfer has taken as many strokes as the hole's par number. In theory, pars are achieved by two putts, with the remaining shots being used to reach the green. For example, a par-five would take three shots to reach the green and two shots to putt the ball into the hole to achieve par. Unless conditions are favorable, most golfers will play for par on a hole.

Birdie: One-under par (-1). These occur most commonly when a golfer's approach shot onto the green lands close enough to the pin that the golfer only requires one putt. In professional tournaments, golfers will play for a birdie if the conditions are not overly hazardous.

Eagle: Two-under-par (-2). A golfer most often plays very aggressively to obtain this score. Eagles most commonly occur on par-fives, when golfers with enough strength can drive to the green in two strokes rather than three. Some eagles result from well-placed approach shots that roll into the hole from outside the green. A hole-in-one on a par-three is an eagle.

Albatross: Three-under-par (-3). Also known as a double-eagle. These are very rare - even the longest-driving golfers can not realistically play for an albatross unless conditions are extremely favorable. They most likely occur on par-fives, with a strong drive and an approach that must hole in (usually from around 200 yards out). Par-four holes-in-one are albatrosses.

Condor: Four-under-par (-4). Also known as a triple-eagle. By far the rarest score in golf, this would require a hole-in-one on a par-five. The required distance alone makes this score physically impossible for almost all golfers. A condor has never been recorded in a professional tournament.

Bogey: One-over-par (+1). These usually result from poor shot selection that result in unpenalized hazards, such as the bunker or the rough, that require an additional stroke to put the ball back into reasonable play. They might also occur from an additional putt. Bogeys are relatively common in professional play, and one bogey is not usually damaging to a player's score.

Double-Bogey: Two-over-par (+2). Poor shot selection can result in double-bogeys. Sometimes, penalized hazards such as water and the out-of-bounds range, which add additional strokes, can contribute to a double-bogey. These might also occur on holes with very fast greens, when the golfer must make several dangerous putts.

Triple-Bogey: Three-over-par (+3). Poor shot and club selection, hazards (penalized or not), bad conditions, and extra putts usually contribute to this score. In professional tournaments, recovering from a triple-bogey is extremely difficult.

Quadruple-Bogey: Four-over-par (+4). These probably result from continuously poor shot selection that penalize a golfer while placing their ball in an improbably place, such as the base of a cliff or the shoreline along the water. These can occur from being consistently overly aggressive.

Quintuple-Bogey: Five-over-par (+5). Rare among the most skilled golfers. A golfer that records a quintuple-bogey is most likely playing on an extremely difficult hole anyway, but continued poor shot selection, impossible hazards and additional putts can contribute to this tournament-killing score.

Beyond +5, hole scores do not have nicknames and are simply read as they're scored. These nicknames are exclusive for hole scores and are not used to describe course and tournament scores.

Retrieved from "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Par_(score)"

<Do I need A Signature or will an X do?>

 

[eyeswideclosed]

TheManiac...couldn't disagree more, sorry, corpspeak is pure bs, has nothing to do with techies or anybody else, i.e.; a "normal" person, tech or not, would say "let's do it this way from now on", while a corphead says "let's implement this new paradigm shift going forward".
It just makes me cringe.

 

[BJCooperIT]

CorpSpeak: Challenge

Something that is theoretically possible, but unrealistic. Kiss the spouse/kids/cat/dog goodbye because you won’t be seeing much of them in the coming months. Cancel the newspaper and the upcoming vacation since your free time just disappeared. Plan on long days, even longer nights and on imbibing way too much caffeine. In many places, CorpSpeak uses the words challenged and burdened interchangeably.

^{Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. ~George Bernard Shaw}
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