Back-handed compliments

[gbaughma]

OK, based on the other thread... this could be a LOT of fun!

Rules: It has to sound like a compliment, but really be an insult.

"There is no way I could underestimate your intelligence" (used on my daughter, as quoted in the other thread)

"You've really motivated me to stay a bachelor, like your father."

"Those eyes! Those lips! Those chin!"

"Wow! What a face! Did you realize you could be the pro-choice poster-child???"



Just my 2¢
-Cole's Law: Shredded cabbage

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[AnotherHiggins]

I've also heard these referred to as back handed compliments. It might be safer to use that term.... You don't want to get Sinistrals Opposed to Sinister Sinistraphobic Slander (SOSSS) after you.

"You're not as dumb as you look" is always popular.

"You're pretty {nice, smart} for a [insert epithet of choice here]"

A twist on one of Greg's: "I'd like to thank you and your kids for reminding me of the importance of family planning."

"Usually a guy your size doesn't have such good balance!"

"I like your hair. I didn't realize that color existed in nature."


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[KenCunningham]

Hmm. *Adopts faux Italian accent*

'Your skin is like a peach....a football peach'

I want to be good, is that not enough?

 

[LizSara]

it's definitely known as a back-handed compliment in the UK

things like 'you look well' (when they mean, you're not as fat as when last i saw you)

"Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." ~ Nietzsche"

 

[rjoubert]

I want to be just like you when I get old."
"No, honey...I love yours. I don't even like them big."
"Relax, sweetie...you were perfectly adequate."
"Your haircut really slims your face."

 

[2ffat]

How about some Groucho Marxisms:

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.



James P. Cottingham
-----------------------------------------
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[Opieo]

The one I gave to the Accounting firm after job shadowing there during high school. They are what made sure I went into computers instead.

"Thank you for allowing me to spend the day with you firm. It has helped me decide the path I will choose in life."

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[gbaughma]

Hehe... Groucho-isms....

"She was my meloncholy baby... she had a head like a melon, and a face like a collie....."

"Marry me, and I promise I'll never look at another horse again!"



Just my 2¢
-Cole's Law: Shredded cabbage

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[gbaughma]

... and you're right... it should be "back-handed compliments"... maybe a moderator could change the title for me.



Just my 2¢
-Cole's Law: Shredded cabbage

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[ChrisHunt]

You can find plenty of these with the Dilbert Performance Review Generator:

For example:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Bush:
His core values show through in his work. As an employee, Mr. Bush is a management textbook example. He never appears stressed about his work. Many wonder at the extent of his knowledge. Mr. Bush shows an interest in related tasks not assigned to him. He is not afraid to ask questions that check the assumptions of others. I find that the quality of his work is well known. Mr. Bush was tasked with many assignments this year.

-- Chris Hunt
Webmaster & Tragedian
Extra Connections Ltd

 

[Dollie]

When someone states "I thought...."

I always reply with "Well that's what happens when you do your own thinking.

 

[donbott]

It's not back handed but from an episode of Taxi:

What do you think of the human race? I'd like an outsiders opinion.

DonBott

They shoot horses, don't they?

 

[imnotcourtney]

My - don't you appear to be productive today!

 

[AnotherHiggins]

DonBott: To Jim, I assume?

"You look great! I almost didn't recognize you."

"What a great idea to get chores done on Saturday night, when most folks are out with friends."

And then there's Shakespeare's Sonnet #130

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.

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[SantaMufasa]

"Thank you for allowing me to spend the day with you firm."

Isn't anything over four hours considered priapism? <very silly grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[Opieo]

Dave, Dave, Dave.
Can't even get away with accidently missing an R.
=(

I had to look up the definition of priapism as I have never seen that word before. Now that I have, your comment is quite funny. =)

Yes, the path I chose is the medical industry to find a cure for this.

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[harebrain]

Here's an oldie from Gomer Pyle:

"For a fat girl, you don't sweat much!

 

[ESquared]

With all that makeup on, you look great!

 

[SantaMufasa]

Wife: &quot;Does this dress make my butt look big?&quot;

Santa: &quot;No, the dress does not make your butt look big.&quot;

And please don't ask me to explain what does make the posterior appear to be such dimensions. &lt;Run away, Run away&gt;

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[AnotherHiggins]

Naw, baby. It's just the way light is reflected from it and reaches our eyes. It's light's fault."

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