An impossible lead

[Jacque]

How do you deal with a lead who wants you to put together a presentation of suggestions for new processes, is too lazy to bother reading your suggestions before the presentation to familiarize herself - she wants it presented to her and then just wants to shoot down all of your suggestions and ideas by trying to work to exceptions instead of to the rules? She didn't even have the courtesy to allow the presentation to continue without interrupting at every chance. Then she asks for more suggestions, as if I want to go through more of this routine (as if I have a choice).

I know she gets some perverse pleasure from this, because I've seen her do it to others. I’ve discussed this with our director and it lead to a meeting between the three of us and it helped the situation a bit but not enough. I feel like I’m at an impasse, any suggestions? I do know that I'm not the only one who feels this way but no one else wants to deal with her wrath.

I'm not a confrontation type of person but sometimes it's just ridiculous the stuff (substitute another not so nice word here) I put up with. I love my job and the company I work for so I need to find a way to deal with this person.

 

[jrbarnett]

When she shoots yours down, ask her for her own suggestions saying "Well, if mine aren't that good I wonder if you have any better ideas?" and see what she says.

That normally shuts this type of person up, but if she does suggest something, be sure to try them out so you can give her feedback on her ideas.

John

 

[lionelhill]

I find this sort of thing very difficult, too, but what you can try is to tell her what she ought to be doing. So, for instance, I imagine you go through these presentations in a fairly public way (you've seen her messing others about) etc. You could try, at the begining, anouncing that (1) you would very much like the audience comments on the major principles of what you are talking about, the global view, etc., but you think it would be inappropriate, and a waste of your audience's valuable time, to get bogged down in tinkering about with individual words here and there, and (2) it's important to you to get a feel for how the whole presentation hangs together, and how long it takes, so you would like to run through it once without interruption, and discuss comments at the end.
For private presentations, you can also steer. It might look cheeky, but you could issue her with a (reasonable) time-span to submit her comments on your work. Tell her you need to know by day X so that you can rewrite your presentation (or whatever) to take into account her valuable input.... Then if she doesn't do it on time it's her who looks daft in public, not you (but beware of point-scoring. If she's not very nice, she is probably better at it than you, and in the end it doesn't help anyone.).

This sort of preemptive approach makes it quite difficult for someone to mess you about without looking unreasonable, but isn't chalenging or confrontational (in fact, it is working for the common good). But it does require a certain amount of planning and ruthless efficiency!

People like the person you describe often tinker with little things because frankly that's easier. They may, actually, be capable of useful comments, but not if their heads are full of tiny stuff. So steering them the way they can help you is a good option.

Just my view, anyway. It's always easier in theory than practice.

 

[CajunCenturion]

I like the fact that you're trying to find a way to deal with this person. A good positive approach to an uncomfortable situation.

Your story reminds me of "The Paper Chase" and the confrontations between Mr. Hart and Prof. Kingsfield. No matter what Mr. Hart said, the Prof had a comeback, found a hole, cited the exception. Drove Mr. Hart crazy, but like you it took it as a personal challenge, to find the correct and complete answer where all of the issues were covered, all of the exceptions dealt with, with all the holes plugged, in short a complete and total answer. He eventually made it, but in the process, Mr. Hart was becoming a fine attorney because he not only answered the question, but he also anticipated the follow-ups and answered them before they were asked. He recogonized the holes in his own presentations from the start, and plugged them before he opened his mouth. At the end of the day, Mr. Hart was far better for being pushed to his best by the Professor. He learned how to critique and thusly improve his own work before it saw the light of day.

I am in no way comparing your boss to the Professor - its a different situation, different environment, and its not a professor-student relationship, and so forth. But perhaps you can still make a game out of it - try to anticipate what the "Devil's Advocate" is going to say, and steel her thunder before she speaks.

Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[BJCooperIT]

Send out an e-mail with the material you would like her to review attached, noting that she should prepare her questions in advance. This should force her to read it prior to your meeting. Copy the director. Also include your agenda clearly indicating how you want to proceed.

Take control of the presentation from the start by stating:
"I would like to present on overview of each of these items to you one-by-one. After my overview we can discuss each item in detail and I will answer your questions." This is your meeting - be the teacher who controls the class.

During your presentation if she interrupts you then say:
"As I stated earlier, in order to accomplish what you have asked me to do, let's defer detailed discussion until I have had a chance to complete my overview." Nicely put her in her place - she seems too disorganized or in too much of a hurry. Let her keep her dignity, after all you still have to work with her.

You can soften this approach by saying something like:

"I know you want this to succeed as much as I do and..."

"______ (insert director's name) and I discussed this and (s)he feels that you and I can..."

"I know you value my time and I would appreciate it if you would give me the benefit of listening to my ideas before giving me any constructive criticism."

Done right, you can help make her a better lead which will benefit you all. Good luck!

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[Jacque]

Thank you all for your suggestions and comments, you've given me some tangible ways to deal with my lead.

CajunCenturion, I especially liked the statement "He learned how to critique and thusly improve his own work before it saw the light of day."

Since I can't change anyone but myself and I do take it as a personal challenge, I'm going to try and adopt this way of thinking. I will also be enlisting one of my friends, whose job it is to look for holes, to assist me with learning how to look for the holes in development process.

Thanks again, I really appreciate all of your comments and suggestions.
Jacque

 

[Kjonnnn]

Is this person a "supervisor" or just the lead in the sense of someone who will tie everything together.

Don't give her so much power by letting her get under your skin.

 

[Jacque]

No, she's not a supervisor, she just is a 'lead' person. Unfortunately our section of the dept is very small and while critical to the success of our products, our boss leaves us alone 99% of the time. The majority of input regarding me towards performance reviews comes from my lead, so I can't be too confrontational without hurting myself in the long run. I'm looking to move into the other side of the dept and in the few times I've spoken with my boss, I've let her know that that is my current goal. She's made comments about how impressed she is with my technical skills and that she is considering me for a spot on the other 'team'. So I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place and am trying to make the best of it.

 

[smittytech]

...I've entered the twilight zone - the situation is "deja vu!"

Jacque - best of luck. Remember: What goes around comes around...she'll "get hers" so to speak. The hardest part is waiting for it to happen. Try to remain professional even when she isn't.

There are lots of great tips in this thread......making notes of them now!



"Life without chocolate is too terrible to contemplate!"

 

[Jacque]

Hi Smittytech,
Thanks for the thoughts, my best to you too.

Karma, karma, karma.....
Jacque