Already

[lisaharris]

I pulled this quote from my local newspaper this morning:

She said she does not see a political future for herself, but will travel often to Washington, D.C., and around New Jersey on trips related to her husband's work. Already she visited the capital several times in January, Adler said.

The structure of the second sentence made my skin crawl. My first instinct was to email the writer. My second was to post it here to find out if the reporter's English is lacking or if it's just me. (-:

__________
Veni, Vidi, Visa: I came, I saw, I charged it.

 

[Grenage]

xxx has already" or "she has already"

Would be my choices.

"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area" - Major Mike Shearer

 

[CajunCenturion]

I find both sentences distasteful. The first sentence has two commas that don't belong and non-parallel construction between the two elements of a compound preposition object. The second sentence is missing a comma. The entire passage is missing quotations marks and contains a tense shift.

I find the whole passage reflects the current state of journalistic professionalism.

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As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[SantaMufasa]

...The entire passage is missing quotations marks...

Instead, is it not an indirect quote that is missing the word, "that"? Had the words been a direct quote that required quotation marks, we would see the word "I" instead of "she", correct?

The first sentence has two commas that don't belong

I certainly agree that the first comma is faulty since the clause that follows the conjunction, "but", is an incomplete sentence. But the other commas in the sentence, I believe, are necessary per the rules for separating cities from states and states from the remaining sentence (since "D.C." functions as would a state in this case)... Commas and States

She said that she does not see a political future for herself but will travel often to Washington, D.C., and around New Jersey on trips related to her husband's work. Adler said that she had already visited the capital several times in January.

Please set me straight if I am confused on these issues.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm or risk. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”

 

[CajunCenturion]

==> Instead, is it not an indirect quote
I don't think so, as evidenced by the last two words of the second sentence. It looks like Adler is being directly quoted, but it's unclear where the quote starts.

We agree the first comma is faulty because the clause that follows the comma and conjunction is a dependent clause. However, I will grant that the third comma is valid as a state separator. I saw it as a comma plus conjunction construct, joining the two prepositional phrases, which would not be correct. That in itself, indicates a less than optimal construction.

Before attempting a reconstruction of the first sentence, I would ask whether "related to her husband's work" applies to trips around New Jersey, to trips to Washington, or to both. I also think the two prepositional phrases in the first sentences should be revised. To me, the "travel often to" and "travel often around" do not work well together in that construct. Perhaps it's the mixing of a specific prepositional phrase with a general prepositional phrase that, although not necessarily wrong, I find awkward.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read
FAQ181-2886
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[GSCaupling]

I would prefer "she had already visited the capital several times" or "she visited the capital several times in January," but to say both seems redundant. Even if it were technically correct as written, it offends my ear.

GS

[small][navy]**********************^*********************
I always know where people are going to sit. I'm chairvoyant.[/navy][/small]

 

[lisaharris]

==> Instead, is it not an indirect quote
I don't think so, as evidenced by the last two words of the second sentence. It looks like Adler is being directly quoted, but it's unclear where the quote starts.

Here's a link to the original article.

http://www.courierpostonline.com/article/20090204/NEWS01/902040350

The passage I posted was the second-to-last paragraph. I fully agree with CC's earlier comment that the passage reflects the current state of journalistic professionalism. At first glance, my main criticism was that the writer started a sentence with "already." I much prefer Santa's reworked version over the original.

I previously found a major error with this newspaper, a misspelling on the front page of their website. Ten minutes after I emailed the editor-in-chief, the headline was pulled.

__________
Veni, Vidi, Visa: I came, I saw, I charged it.

 

[2ffat]

Here's another one that sounds kinda "funky."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,487884,00.html[/URL]]There are stains on the rug and walls marked with crayon and punctured with holes punched into them.

Isn't "punctured with holes punched" redundant? Wouldn't it be clearer if the sentence ended at the word holes?


James P. Cottingham
^{I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229!}

 

[lisaharris]

Why not just "...punctured with punch holes."? That would provide the reader with an idea of the type and relative size of the holes.

__________
Veni, Vidi, Visa: I came, I saw, I charged it.

 

[mintjulep]

Why would anyone need to mark stains with crayon and then punch a hole through the stain?

 

[2ffat]

X" marks the spot?


James P. Cottingham
^{I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229!}

 

[GSCaupling]

Maybe they had some lingering issues with the house and they needed to trash it "for closure."

GS

[small][navy]**********************^*********************
I always know where people are going to sit. I'm chairvoyant.[/navy][/small]