I came across some depressing news and posted it here thread656-609652 and needed some balance so I thought I would post some signatures a friend had collected from tek-tips and we had a good laugh so I thought everyone else might.
I tried to add the names they came from where possible.
Remember not to name the lambs - it only makes the chops harder to swallow.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
"As the radius of a circle of light increases so does the circumference of the circle of darkness around it." - Albert Einstein - CajunCenturion
The gap between theory and practice is not as wide in theory as it is in practice.
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
Life can only be understood backwards. Unfortunately it must be lived forwards.
If you choose to battle wits with the witless, be prepared to lose. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
If the sky is blue and the Sun is yellow, why isn't the air Green?
Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
I love people. They taste just like chicken!
"Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway" - Jim Davis
USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." - Dave Barry
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle
Tuna - It's fat free until you add the Mayo!
People who live in windowed environments shouldn't cast pointers.
"There are only three types of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't." - Warren Buffet
"A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch." - Fred Allen
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If at first you do not succeed, skydiving is not for you. - mattKnight
If you poke a bear in the butt with a stick often enough, sooner or later you're going to earn the bear's undivided attention.
Four core questions follow from this aphorism:
1) In a toe-to-toe fight between you and the bear, who will win?
2)How long is your stick?
3)How fast can you run?
4)How badly do you need to poke that bear? - sleipnir214
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines - KingofSketch
Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares? - ChrisHirst
AJ
![[americanflag]](/data/assets/smilies/americanflag.gif "[americanflag] [americanflag]")
If at first you do not succeed, cheat!
I tried to add the names they came from where possible.
Remember not to name the lambs - it only makes the chops harder to swallow.
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
"As the radius of a circle of light increases so does the circumference of the circle of darkness around it." - Albert Einstein - CajunCenturion
The gap between theory and practice is not as wide in theory as it is in practice.
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
Life can only be understood backwards. Unfortunately it must be lived forwards.
If you choose to battle wits with the witless, be prepared to lose. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
If the sky is blue and the Sun is yellow, why isn't the air Green?
Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
I love people. They taste just like chicken!
"Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway" - Jim Davis
USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." - Dave Barry
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle
Tuna - It's fat free until you add the Mayo!
People who live in windowed environments shouldn't cast pointers.
"There are only three types of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't." - Warren Buffet
"A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch." - Fred Allen
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If at first you do not succeed, skydiving is not for you. - mattKnight
If you poke a bear in the butt with a stick often enough, sooner or later you're going to earn the bear's undivided attention.
Four core questions follow from this aphorism:
1) In a toe-to-toe fight between you and the bear, who will win?
2)How long is your stick?
3)How fast can you run?
4)How badly do you need to poke that bear? - sleipnir214
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines - KingofSketch
Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares? - ChrisHirst
AJ
If at first you do not succeed, cheat!
![[pimp]](/data/assets/smilies/pimp.gif "[pimp] [pimp]")