check relaying restrictions on your virtual smtp server. might be set to relay only for normal internal ip addresses. might have to include/add ip address range that is used during vpn connection.
A couple of years ago I had developed a small utility application that charts the SMTP traffic volume flowing through your exchange server. I will give it to you for FREE if you are interested.
It operates solely on remote performance counter retrieval, so doesn't require any database setups...
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